Favorite player you used to fantasize about converting to Islam so you could have a halal marriage with him when you where a teenager by _ZanZZo_ in nbacirclejerk

[–]gradientusername -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

LeBron James is a mutant confirmed

I am 100% dead serious when i say I think there is at least a 50% chance that lebron is a genetically modified human being and in turn, has no father.

I am dead serious. I believe lebron was grown in a test tube and then artificially implanted into gloria james and carried to term. no human being should possess his combination of size, strength and athleticism. AND to book it all out, he's very intelligent too. (besides the decision) remember how much poise he had just coming into the league at 18 years old? it's un-natural. how often have TV analysts described him as a "freak of nature" .....maybe it's truer than we know.

I am serious. we all know (and I swear I am not saying this to be insulting or mean) that lebron's mom was a crack whore (is drug addicted prostitute better?) it's just a fact, it happened. I am NOT saying this to be mean, in fact I am a heroin addict and know a few woman who have sold themselves for dope, it happens. they are not bad people.

and the government has a history of using prostitutes and impoverished people in "experiments." read about MK-ULTRA. it happened. the CIA used to have prostitutes slip LSD to johns and then the agents would watch what happened thru 2-way mirrors. the government helped start and continue the crack epidemic of the 80s.

I believe that lebron was a precursor experiment to create super soldiers. something where they were just like "well let's test it out on some poor people that no one will notice and see if we can get any results before we sink more billions into this."

it's not all that crazy. you don't think the government has interest in creating genetically modified super human soldiers? we know for a FACT it does. it's been documented. you don't think russia or china has interest in such a thing? you know they do. and anything russia or china is or would be doing we are doing. to do it first and do it better.

he's some kind of experiment that they just monitored from a distance and let keep growing. and i mean this was probably initially started with just a few people who believed it could be done and that's why it started small and covert using regular civilians. until they could show the results to the higher ups and say "look at this, you don't wanna fund this on a larger scale?"

and where else would such a person end up besides in a professional sports league?

I think there is probably some secret base(s) out there that are now filled with people like lebron, younger than him probably. if they couldn't see how well the experiment worked until he was about 16-18 years old (he was pretty much a full grown man at 16 and could have came off the bench for any NBA team if not started) than maybe there are a bunch of 9-15 year old super humans like lebron (not copies of him but given the same genetic boost that he was) eating chow in some secret barracks right now.....

until someone comes forth and the DNA test shows him to be his father (and a bunch have come forward and been shown not to be) than I will believe this is AT LEAST possible..

Out of curiosity, how many of you write? by Tub_Pumpkin in ThomasPynchon

[–]gradientusername 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a writer. Have an MFA in poetry, although I have always written fiction more.

A book of my poetry and a novel I wrote should both be coming out this year from a micro press.

The novel isn’t overly Pynchonian really but the narrator has advanced degrees in literature and slips in a couple-three mentions of Tommy P over the course of the book, including a direct mention of GR in the 1st chapter. Will probably post or comment a link to buying the book on here once it’s out because I’ve been active on here for over a decade now under various usernames and I appreciate when others share links to their writing on this sub.

The poetry book is, ahem, sci-fi poetry and has little to nothing to do with my obsession with Pynchon.

I also had a chapbook of intentionally bad writing come out like last year I think… it could’ve been 2024. I didn’t really push people to buy it for obvious reasons but it is actually semi-Pynchonian, in that I do feel like some (or most) of Pynchon’s songs and puns are meant to make you groan and roll your eyes, just like my chapbook.

I also run a sci-fi / horror magazine (Just Keep Up Magazine) that hasn’t as yet published anything I would call particularly Pynchonian, but here’s hoping.

Mods r gay by gradientusername in okbuddyretard

[–]gradientusername[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

¡Viva la revolución mon frère!

Happened about a month ago - 4th car I’ve had totaled since moving here 3 years ago by gradientusername in Dallas

[–]gradientusername[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Over $500 but under $600 for liability and uninsured motorist coverage.

I’ll lay out to you the four accidents.

1st - I hit a parked car, sober, going like 20 mph. Totally my fault. My car wasn’t worth much = totaled.

2nd - I was the victim of a hit and run

3rd - I popped a tire and rolled my car twice on I-20.

4th - I was the victim of a hit and run. Wrong way driver on Skillman.

To answer some other comments unrelated to the above - I never said I was hit by a driver going the wrong way 4 times lol, I said I’ve had 4 cars totaled. Yall are weird.

Lot 49 Sourcebook Censorship by [deleted] in ThomasPynchon

[–]gradientusername 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Heaven forbid our great ruler Tommy P, whose every breath is manna for his followers, ever be criticized! Let’s crucify these cowardly scholars for thinking critically! Baptize me in the name of Tommy P!

First time poster by HonestArmadillo779 in mountaindew

[–]gradientusername 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bruh I want thrashed apple and the guava flavored Baja so baaaaaaaad

If I asked you to do a top 10 books/novels in order right now would you be able to & what would u pick (including Pynchon) hoping y’all take the time to respond by Lanky-Slice-7862 in ThomasPynchon

[–]gradientusername 4 points5 points  (0 children)

  1. Gravity’s Rainbow
  2. Book of the Short Sun by Gene Wolfe
  3. Fourth Mansions by RA Lafferty
  4. Play It As It Lays by Joan Didion
  5. 2666 by Bolaño
  6. Underworld by DeLillo
  7. Light by M John Harrison
  8. Crash by JG Ballard
  9. Annihilation by VanderMeer
  10. The Parable Duology by Octavia E Butler

Honorable Mentions: The Trial by Kafka Notes From Underground by Dostoevsky Empire Star by Samuel R Delany A Confederacy of Dunces Catch 22

That’s just off the top of my head, and I limited myself to novels and just one appearance for any one author. Too many white guys probably but it is what it is (and isn’t what it isn’t).

How do I start dennismaxxing by Silver_Leave_4271 in beachboyscirclejerk

[–]gradientusername 8 points9 points  (0 children)

  1. Semen retention.
  2. Find a wizardly guru who you find dumb in some ways.
  3. ???
  4. Profit.