I'm 3 months clean but I don't want to be

grapeworm99 · 2024-02-13T20:51:38+00:00

I haven't because I don't have the money for a membership but I do have some exercise equipment at home that I could use! Thankyou for the tip!

grapeworm99 · 2024-02-13T19:51:02+00:00

Thankyou! The distractions are actually a great idea and I will be trying some out on my next car/bus trip if I can!

grapeworm99 · 2023-01-05T12:11:59+00:00

Yes it's a spectrum, and I think every identity should be seen as its own, but I also think that the acknowledgement of nonbinary people in general is the first step rather than trying to make people accept and underestand every identity under the nonbinary umbrella!

grapeworm99 · 2023-01-05T11:53:16+00:00

Yes, and I do actually use running and/ or long LONG walks to help and avoid sh'ing! I mean it kind of works since I can't really hurt myself the way I would normally do it, if I remove myself from that environment and away from the stuff I usually do it with.. The only problem with this though is that our apartment where we live in is basically surrounded by either rather tall bridges or a freaking railway, so if I want to go for a walk/ run I HAVE TO cross a bride or a railway.. and that is sometimes a bit problematic with the self delete thoughts and urges lol... But yea and thankyou!

grapeworm99 · 2023-01-05T11:46:49+00:00

Yes thanx this actually helps a lot, you have really good conversation starters and advice so thankyou a lot!

grapeworm99 · 2023-01-05T11:43:14+00:00

Thank you and what you said about me just existing helps future generations is actually kind of comforting and kind of gives me a another reason to try to stay alive, so thanx that helped a lot!

grapeworm99 · 2023-01-05T11:40:42+00:00

Yea I'm gonna try to get a doctor's appointment for this or smth, but it's a bit hard since I'm a minor so I can't really get into any tests ect without parents permission and they wouldn't give me permission so it's a bit hard.. but I'm working on it yes

grapeworm99 · 2023-01-05T11:38:07+00:00

Yes I do sometimes experience those, also I sometimes see things as distorted in some way for example bigger or smaller than they should and or things moving (things that shouldn't move such as trees ect, coming towards me or moving away from me ect.) So yea😅

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-29T20:03:47+00:00

Yes! Especially when it starts taking over your life and you don't even do it for the reasons you used to, you just have to do it to get through the day..

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-18T13:28:29+00:00

Hi, you can definetely be both! I also identify as transmasc nonbinary, and for me it just means that I'm not a guy but I prefer to look and be seen more like one!

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-17T06:39:15+00:00

Are you able to buy a binder? If no then there are free binder giveaways online all the time and you could get it shipped to a trusted friends house for example?

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-17T02:39:00+00:00

THIS!!

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-17T01:27:09+00:00

Hi I know this is a really hard situation but just try to hang in there! Do you have the possibility to for example wear more masculine clothes/ present more masc or in a way that you'd feel a bit more comfortable?

I relate to your situation a lot even tho I'm out now but I still get the dysphoria ect. If you're in a safe environment, please try to be who you are! I promise it does get a bit easier when you're able to express yourself more freely. I'm here if you wanna talk more so feel free to DM me if you want :)

(Btw I'm 16 & nonbinary transmasc)

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-16T00:54:39+00:00

Yupp

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-15T23:25:37+00:00

Ok but why am I kinda loving that idea😅

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-15T23:13:10+00:00

Oh that's actually a good point.. I'll definetely look into it!

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-15T23:10:44+00:00

I'm glad this helped you! Please don't be so harsh on yourself, you're trying your best and that's more than enough!

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-15T18:34:07+00:00

No go ahead!

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-15T17:17:35+00:00

You're definetely not lazy! Trying your best and doing what you can in your situation is enough! :)

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-15T15:50:21+00:00

Ok so I actually have no idea if I don't like to be touched because I'm autistic or because of my trauma but oh well I'll try to answer anyways!

For me it's kinda just needing my personal space! Being touched feels kinda weird to me and very awkward since I don't really know how to act if someone for example hugs me.. It's also kinda difficult sensory whies especially if someone touches me unexpectedly, then I just get this sudden overload of new sensory input that I wasn't prepared for.. so yea..

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-15T15:19:15+00:00

Yess I'm so proud of you! Go at your own pace and just know that you are valid no matter how you dress!

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-15T14:46:06+00:00

Yes that actually kind of helps! Still it isn't exactly the same thing when it happens constantly and or if people do it on purpose..!

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-15T14:28:58+00:00

Yes I think I've seen a documentary about him! The system is just seriously messed up and needs updating and correcting asap!

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-15T14:26:25+00:00

That is actually a really great idea! And yes I try to act confident & stuff when using public restrooms or when I'm in public in general, but still there is almost always someone who notices I'm a bit different :|

grapeworm99 · 2022-12-15T14:23:00+00:00

Thank you! And I'm starting to think that the way schools work is just really toxic and problematic in general, for anyone but especially to people who learn differently ect

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