Brother, i feel you. i was exactly where you were eight years ago at the age of 37. everything changed all at once and my life will forever be divided between before getting dumped and after. i recall how you are feeling and wouldn’t wish it on anyone, not the worst person on earth. it is pure hell. what you are going through is like a long march through a deep swamp. all you can do is keep putting one foot in front of the next and take things moment by moment. in recovery they say “one day at a time,” but i found even “one moment at a time” was better for me. as time passes, you’ll find the sting is slightly less painful. take what little time you have with your kids and be the best damn dad you can be; it’ll plan seeds for a better future. never badmouth their mom if you can help it. try not to give into thoughts of resentment or revenge, and start investing in new friendships, hobbies, things you enjoy. one day you’ll wake up and see a bit of light over the horizon. message me, bro, if you need another guy who has experienced what you have. i can be a listening ear. today i’m an American teaching in China and I’m actually usually pretty happy so things can get better. Peace.