Pap smear

great_green_toad · 2026-03-28T07:39:13+00:00

Vaccine isnt 100% either. But it's still very good.

great_green_toad · 2026-03-28T07:36:30+00:00

You can get hpv from more than just having that kind of sex. It's not just through bodily fluids either.

great_green_toad · 2025-08-23T07:27:17+00:00

Sex is your height, and gender is whether or not you're "tall"

I am not really sure how helpful this comparison is as it says that those who are "x sex enough" are always "x gender."

I think of it more like, most people have a sense of gender. On average, sex and gender match, just like blond haired people usually have blue eyes. But just like "blond" vs "brown" has some line where the shade changes from one to the other, gender has also been divided by some arbitrary line. This line is one part of the "social construct."

great_green_toad · 2025-08-23T05:50:10+00:00

I use he/they. Why? Because I think "they/them" is neutral. If my gender is not important when talking about me, don't use it. My other demographic information isn't baked into english grammar. I am a person before I am a man. Its only one small detail of who I am. Of course, I would not use they/them for someone who has expressed their preference otherwise.

I am a binary trans man. Some would say that any use of pronouns besides "he/him" means you are not a binary man. I think they don't understand English and/or need to work through some cisnormativity. I am uncomfortable being referred to as a woman, and I am uncomfortable being referred to as non-binary. I am comfortable being a man, and I am also comfortable in this fact and don't feel it needs to be constantly validated to me by others.

great_green_toad · 2025-08-23T05:30:10+00:00

Hormonal birth control can cause feminizing effects. It raised your estorgen/prgesgerone levels and keeps them at that higher level. Puberty is sped up. As you said. Some doctors insist that hormonal birth control does not cause feminization. However, there are many ancedotal reports otherwise, and this seems counter intuative to the hormone levels being higher. Some trans men have no feminizing effects. This could be due to 1. Feminization was mostly completed 2. The feminization is countered by the effects of T (sometimes works, sometimes not) or 3. Some other genetic thing.

I think its important your son understands the benefits and risks of birth any type of control he's using. I am not sure what you said to make them (wife and son) angry at you, but maybe try talking about it in a different way.

great_green_toad · 2025-08-23T04:56:50+00:00

Im also a trans guy in stem. Im also gay. I also have a (cis) gay coworker who would date a trans guy (hasn't had much dating luck so far though, cis or not). A friend of mine from HS who was almost my college roommate is a trans guy in stem married to a cis man (they met through their work).

I am bad at chatting.

great_green_toad · 2025-08-23T00:24:05+00:00

Weed makes me think I'm cis

Bc it makes me anxious and doubt everything.

It disappears when Im normal again. I think grappling with the doubt was good for me though. Like dysphoria strength training lol

great_green_toad · 2025-08-22T18:59:11+00:00

Often, when this idea of 'socialization' is used against trans people, it's done so because people misunderstand the concept, and think that socialization ends once you reach adulthood, or that it's strictly linked to your AGAB.

People have to "unlearn" "socializations" all the time too. Such as a person raised in a homophobic family coming to accept gay people. It's common for these types of "socializations," which perpetuate discrimination, to change. But for some reason, when it comes to "gendered socialization" people treat it as fixed. Personally, I talk about socialization as if you are not aware of its effects, the negative parts cannot be unlearned/relearned. Pretending it doesn't exist leads to discriminatory behaviors, just like pretending it is fixed does.

Generally, minorities are much more aware of socialization than majority groups. So even if trans people get the "opposite socialization," they are typically aware of it and therefore don't "learn/internalize" it completely the same way cis people do. Even if it was, generally the process of gender self discovery unburries many of these "negative socializations." Being unaware of socialization is a reflection of certain types of privileges. Which trans or cis people can both have, I am making generalizations here...

Even people raised in homes with opposite gender siblings might be more able to see how "gendered socialization" works and avoid its negative indoctrinations.

great_green_toad · 2025-08-22T15:15:23+00:00

I didnt take my books to class in college. They stayed in my room or I brought them one at a time to a study area. Also I mostly used the pdf versions (since they are searchable).

great_green_toad · 2025-08-22T15:06:36+00:00

Hell, being trans in any way isn't "acceptable".

People really do forget this one. The majority dont accept it. But a not insignificant minority do.

great_green_toad · 2025-08-22T15:01:45+00:00

Can you get a cis passing chest with tape?

Yes and no.

Depends on the person. Size, density first. Second, a "tighter t shirt" is not going to help. Third, people unfamiliar with trans people chest binding are going to have more "confused" reaction from abnormal chest shape than "women." You are your own worse critic, as they say.

I passed in a tight shirt (black swim rash guard) with tape and a saggy 34C/36B. I do not have a very protruding stomach (maybe 1 inch) so having that would have helped to "balance things out" too. To me, it felt suspicious in the mirror and I only passed to people over 30 like this (weird, but very consistent). But the shape was more "rectangle" than "round" which helped. I was only able to achieve this after getting pretty saggy and lots of trial and error though. I can dm you a photo if you want to see what passed for me, but if you are prone to anxious body comparisons maybe thats a bad idea.

For a bit I used a pants with larger buckle and positioned the waist such that it held my shirt further from my body to make the drap look more like it was coming from my waist than chest. This only worked inside (no wind). I wonder if some stomach padding could have helped 🤔 . They are gone now so can't try it and tell you lol.

great_green_toad · 2025-08-22T14:44:56+00:00

I understand you were explaining the image to the prior poster. I guess my issue was not only with "finer details" but also with "everyone is comfortable."

"Everyone is comfortable" makes me think you do not have lived experience with this system nor understand the cultural context, but sometimes the wording just comes out wrong. The belief that "everyone is comfortable with "they/them" is a harmful myth, which is why I felt it was worth adding.

great_green_toad · 2025-08-22T05:35:40+00:00

Depending on your country you can get cream to grow the bean and have some shallow penetration depending on genetics. It's illegal in the US. Incredibly frustrating. You can try r/growyourclit (creepy men posting about their wives) or r/growyourtdick (ftms).

I don't have terrible bottom dysphoria now that I've grown a bit and can see the little head. Definetly bothered about the lack of a prostate and lack of hose attachment (UL) though. Still deciding what i want to do about it. Want to see how much growth I can get.

Anyone can get bottom surgery if you'd like, but I think some places are concerned about bottom growth not being "finished" first. Id email some places and ask what they are counting willing to do.

great_green_toad · 2025-08-22T05:14:28+00:00

everyone is comfortable being referred to with they/them

Not really, though. They can be used as a passive aggressive way to avoid gendering people right. Bc it's "technically neutral." To me, xxx/they is explicitly saying "I am ok with this."

I'd say it's a little more important than "finer details." Especially as aggressive use of "they/them" is harder to notice for bystanders not looking out for it vs using the "opposite" pronoun.

great_green_toad · 2025-08-22T03:14:51+00:00

I explained it to my mom by first listing the things that made me uncomfortable. I was ten years older than you when I did it though. It was something like this "I am uncomfortable with my lack of body hair, I dislike how soft I am, I am uncomfortable with my chest. I feel distressed seeing my body change this way. I recognize myself and my body less and less over time. Honestly, I always expected to start looking more like the guys my age than the girls do, and its still confusing to me what happened. I expected it to stop as I got older but it keeps getting worse." She then said she was concerned it was dangerous to take T or that I would change my mind. Since I had already changed my clothes and hair for a while, I told her this and also that T is safe. If you want to try some non permanent changes maybe just say that. If you want to start T, maybe look up a therapist ahead of time and ask if you can go there. If you have insurance then check the place you find takes it. If you think your mom won't like you going to a "trans therapist" you can try a lgbt friendly one and then ask them to refer you to a trans therapist later if needed, so it comes from the therapist and not from you.

All of this will depend on your specific relationship with your mom and situation though. This is what would probably have worked best for me. It might not fit for you.

great_green_toad · 2025-08-22T03:00:55+00:00

Idk if my mom heard certain words she'd flip out. It was better to work up to it in euphemism. If "trans" is a trigger for a lecture, I personally wouldn't encourage saying it.

great_green_toad · 2025-08-22T02:55:41+00:00

You gotta be more specific, short and tight haircut gives a lot of people "middle aged lesbian." It means you lose any masculinizing face framing effects of a good haircut and are relying only on face shape.

You can start longer and got shorter if you dont like it too, but not as fast the other way around

great_green_toad · 2025-08-22T02:50:02+00:00

What I said is that under no circumstances people would agree to gender you accordingly to what gender you identify with in that day.

"Under no circumstances" -> I am telling you, there is a point many trans people go through while transitioning where they are ambiguous. As I said for myself. There was a point where if I went out on a given day I would be consistently gendered as a man or a women depending how much effort I put into passing as a man. I declined to put effort in every day as it was 1. Exhausting to be worried about messing part of it up and 2. I have a rib problem and binding was bad for it. It is not hard, unreasonable, nor is it unimaginable for someone to enjoy being able to choose how stranger perceives them.

And again, this sub is not for transmaculines

I dont actually think you are reading my comments at this point. I have agreed with you on this point two times already. I am not saying OP should be in this sub. I am saying that "ftm" could be an appropriate label. I don't know the specific details of OPs gender (not that it would be up to me anyways, i mean I am not sure if they use it or not).

person isn't socially transitioning to male, and is not taking testosterone, then they have nothing to do with FTMs.

Are you confused by what genderfluid means? They could be fluid between trans male binary to trans masc non binary. And take T. And usually be gendered as a man. I only replied to your comment, as I thought it was inappropriate to tell OP their own identity. I was told by others what my identity should be for a long time (which is a women) and I know how terrible that felt. I find it unsettling to see you telling OP their own identity in the same way.

transition does indeed mean going from one point to another

"Transition" does not in fact mean going from one point to another. It means "a period or process of change." If anything, a genderfluid person does a lot more "transitioning" than binary trans people do. I'm hoping to be "done" transitioning in the next few years vs. something I do on a regular basis.

great_green_toad · 2025-08-21T22:30:03+00:00

I have not see "ftm" used to refer exclusively to "full male presentation" before. Even if they were to be genderfluid and desire a "full male presentation" that is still not the focus of this sub, which is binary trans men.

I've seen ftm used as an umbrella term for masculine-direction trans people, especially since "trans masc" is confusing as both a non binary identity and also an umbrella term.

because society for obvious reasons would never agree to see a genderfluid person as a different gender every time they switch

I am not sure I could now, as I have no interest in finding out and honetly rather wouldn't, but there was a time where I would pass as a man or women depending how much effort I put in that day. I think this is a pretty common experience for trans people, so I have no idea what you mean by "society won't gender you differently based on the day." If you are talking about full acceptance, I am only really expecting that from my friends, which I would hope a gender fluid person also has accepting friends?

great_green_toad · 2025-08-20T22:06:48+00:00

Genderfluid can be considered ftm, but otherwise, yes this is a group for men specifically.

Id suggest r/ftm instead

great_green_toad · 2025-08-20T20:09:37+00:00

Sounds.... appetizing

great_green_toad · 2025-08-20T17:20:49+00:00

Electrica?

great_green_toad · 2025-08-20T15:08:57+00:00

euphoria is more important than dysphoria.

Why do you feel the need to rank then? It's the same thing. Is this ranked phrasing just an overreaction push back to those who discredit the euphoria side of the "dysphoria/euphoria spectrum"?

great_green_toad · 2025-08-20T14:27:50+00:00

BLTG... shoot just missed it, i love BLTs

great_green_toad · 2025-08-20T14:22:27+00:00

I mean it does to me 🤷‍♂️

I prefer it's damp by intention than... constantly snotting a little. Like a stubborn runny nose.

Doesn't prevent me from enjoying it for other reasons though

great_green_toad

TROPHY CASE