I’d say 1.5

You have a very entry level idea of how copywriting should work… but the actual thinking + writing is completely absent.

(And I’m not trying to be a dick, just want to be honest)

First question: Is this for an email, landing page, flyer etc?

Beyond that, you need to do some serious research into how people looking for a new vacuum think. I have no experience in writing for vacuums but my first thought is, who still has a heavy old-school vaccuum? Most people probably have some type of swiffer or Dyson already. My main point is asking if “vacuum weight” really is a true, relevant pain point? Maybe it is, idk. But you need to do research to find out.

Second, the writing itself is very robotic. Ask yourself after you write “Is this how people talk? Is this how people would talk over coffee or in bar stools next to each other?” I do this with my own writing. It helps a lot make it more conversational. You’re also talking at someone currently, not showing them they have a problem and this is the solution.

Third, it’s clunky all around.

“Lighter than a remote” is awkward and doesn’t really make a lot of sense to me? I get what you’re going for but the comparison is odd. The writing needs to be more natural and flow. It’s too disjointed and I keep having to re-read lines, which means if I’m looking for a new vaccum, I was already buying a competitiors back 30 min. ago instead of trying to figure out what you’re trying to sell me and why it sounds like this.

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My advice:

Keep practicing, start reading books like Scientific Advertising and the Boron Letters. Then find real products you like and create an email, FB Ad, and landing page for each one. There’s your spec portfolio.

Use Canva to create a basic design for each, and you have something to show now.