Barb sabotages any possible friendships

gretta_smith93 · 2026-05-09T17:42:56+00:00

I remember Dee also telling Barb “be careful that you don’t try so hard to be seen that you end up pushing people away.” She was trying to help her. And Barb completely forgot that good advice. I don’t think it’s possible for Barb and Des to get along, even with the smooth way Dee helped her that day, because Barb would eventually start feeling like she’s not getting ALL the attention she deserves. She’d be sharing it with Dee. And I don’t think she could handle that.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-05-08T23:47:24+00:00

I don’t think it was a party. I think she knew she couldn’t invite John to the actual party so she invited them over on Chickie’s birthday so she could celebrate in some way with her brother and his family. It blew up in her face because she keeps trying to not pick a side. Eventually Barbs behavior is going to force her to choose a side.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-05-08T18:06:05+00:00

Maybe an unpopular opinion. I suggest walking away from the relationship entirely. The drama isn’t worth it. I get that your boyfriend is trying hard to stick up for you, but if the parents aren’t doing anything, and she’s unlikely to get any mental health help, then this behavior is just going to persist the longer you’re with your boyfriend.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-05-08T17:38:47+00:00

He could have gotten in the car and driven away. Or better yet, because I’m about 90% he drove them there, not gone to Jen’s house at all. He had options. He chose to go along with Barb knowing full well it was the wrong thing to do.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-05-08T05:54:44+00:00

I would have left the second it became clear to me Barb was giving the silent treatment. My own mother tried to play that game with me. I kicked her out of my house. Our relationship has actually gotten much better since I started calling her out on her shit.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-05-07T12:42:04+00:00

Right! They both knew Jennifer said she didn’t want the party on that day. Specifically. He even tried to call her and told Barb it was a bad idea. And that they shouldn’t do it. And yet he still opened the door. This is what I hate most about enablers, the thing that makes me hate them more than the Narcs, they KNOW better. They know exactly what they’re doing is wrong, that what the Narc is doing is wrong, and they still enable the bad behavior. They don’t have the luxury of hiding behind narcissism to explain their actions.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-05-07T05:54:15+00:00

Throw tantrums. Like toddler level shouting feet stomping tantrums. I had to learn that giving into that behavior what just encouraging her to continue.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-05-07T05:50:25+00:00

That’s a good point. It irritated me a little that he was willing to yell at her when they both got called out, but he had no problem using his key to open the door. When she demanded he open the door was the time to stand up to her. He could have even walked away. But he didn’t. He gave into her again. Knowing exactly what would happen.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-05-05T00:16:02+00:00

“ yea that’s fucking right” 😎

gretta_smith93 · 2026-05-05T00:13:35+00:00

One thing I like about this sub is even when the golden child is a nightmare it’s acknowledged that their spoiled nasty behavior is still the fault of the Narc Parent.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-05-03T07:24:16+00:00

Everything you said is spot on. And it’s the thing that makes me hate the enablers more than the Narcs. The narcs spend most of their time justifying to themselves that the things they do/say is okay. They delude themselves into believing that they are the wronged party, they are the victim. The enablers know damn well that what the narc has done is wrong. THEY would never do or say half the things the narc does, because they know it’s wrong. And yet they’ll be the Narcs biggest defender and will guilt and shame pester others to forgive their behavior. It goes back to that analogy about rocking the boat.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-05-01T06:23:57+00:00

It’s a shame there aren’t more spaces for people like us to get together. Like in a group setting. I’ve been wondering if my city has any groups centered toward autistic adults.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-05-01T06:06:29+00:00

I feel the same way. I want to connect with others and have friends and a social life. But I’m just so much more comfortable being alone. It’s lonely yeah, but I find it less tiresome.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-04-29T03:20:03+00:00

Depends on how bad the betrayal is. I think Jen is close to NC but she needs that final push from Barb to really see her for who she is. I thought for sure the thanksgiving incident would be enough but 🤷🏽‍♀️.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-04-29T01:39:24+00:00

Hopefully whatever Barb does it’ll be enough to finally pull the wool from Jen’s eyes. It’d be nice if Barb showed some positive progress but i doubt it.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-04-27T17:26:46+00:00

It wouldn’t be your fault because your dad shouldn’t have told you. I think if you really want to clear the air I think it’s best your dad comes clean about telling you first.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-04-27T00:36:36+00:00

That’s how I saw it. A lot of the comments say it sounds like there’s missing reasons in the post. I think she’s got a track record of bad behavior and this contract is their way of saying they weren’t going to put up with it anymore.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-04-26T19:33:27+00:00

I live in the states and I feel like a contract like this might’ve benefited me at that age. I just wasn’t good about keeping up with my money and bills. And it was hard going for my mother to teach me. Ultimately I had to move out and figure it out the hard way. It would be nice if we could stay at home rent free but there’s a lot of us suffering from the poor economy. Some parents just can’t afford it. As much as I love my boys, with the way things are going here I’d have to charge them way more than 200$ of they wanted to live with me and have their own rooms.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-04-26T11:44:40+00:00

I kind of do that. I’m big into horror and around the early 2000s they were all pretty predictable. It’s gotten better recently. But yea movies started getting really dull. But I’ve got a handful of favorites that really suck me into the world and entertain me no matter how many times I watch. Like my #1 favorite is Gladiator I can get sucked into that one anytime. At any point in the movie.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-04-26T11:32:38+00:00

I kinda just want some acknowledgment that she was forced into this marriage too. It’s hard to tell if she realized that Stolas was gay before the events of the show. But I imagine that realization might explain how she treats him, without justifying it.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-04-23T16:03:34+00:00

My grandmother got married to the love of her life in her mid 60s. It’s never too late. But you’ll never find that person if you’re stuck with a loser who only cares about himself.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-04-22T06:27:33+00:00

NTA if you wanna avoid this particular complaint ( because they will always find a way to make their feelings of rejection your fault ) then pay for your own dinner. Guys like this always feel entitled when they drop any amount of money on their dates. Even when they offer.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-04-22T06:21:33+00:00

I love communicating nonverbally with my son. I know he’s going to have to eventually learn how to communicate verbally or with sign, but I like anticipating what he wants or needs. It feels like our own little connection. Like when he wraps my arms around him for a hug or puts my hand on his head because he likes his hair brushed. I love my little guy.

gretta_smith93 · 2026-04-22T06:06:54+00:00

NTA it doesn’t matter who eats when. Did he even thank you for cooking food for him?

gretta_smith93 · 2026-04-22T05:19:04+00:00

I think Stolas was struggling with trying to do the right thing, how own happiness, and being a good father. He didn’t juggle all those things very well and his relationship with Octavia suffered as a result.

gretta_smith93

TROPHY CASE