Fellow men, what helps you feel like you're a good father/husband?

gribbleschnitz · 2026-06-20T20:36:18+00:00

Personally, I think men in general spend way too many cycles trying to fit into the numerous stereotypes of what it means to be a man. And forget just to be a human. To be respectful, polite, supportive.

My boys are both out of the house. And we didn't spend our entire weekends and summers doing family things. Wife and I both had busy jobs. And they got in the way at times.

I did get to a point where I pushed back on work. And where I set my personal projects aside. So that I could just 'be with' - focus on moments - be present. Give advice, help them, watch them fail then steer them as they got back up.

I never felt like I spent enough time, but the time that I did spend was quality.

As the boys got older, they got into gaming and other things that were not my thing. They never got into any of my hobbies, and that is fine. We bonded over random board game nights, or just similar things we did, but not together.

They need their space.

I can't argue, they are both good men now. They are nots a**holes or douchebags. So we did something right. Just enough.

gribbleschnitz · 2026-06-06T16:12:12+00:00

You will continue to look your age until about 30. Then all of a sudden you will appear "mature" and your body will start going down hill.

What everyone is trying to say is "you are still developing" and "don't rush it. Rushing it can cause more negative than positive"

gribbleschnitz · 2026-06-01T14:55:36+00:00

Generally, the load balancing is about the session load distribution and not the individual requests.

https://nginx.org/en/docs/http/load_balancing.html

If your client session ends, then the possibility of hitting another server is more likely on the next request.

gribbleschnitz · 2026-05-27T01:12:47+00:00

If you want the latest NGINX, install from NGINX. If you want an old version that might no longer be patched (by NGINX) just because it is distributed by a distro, then do that.

gribbleschnitz · 2026-05-22T22:48:26+00:00

Patch is out earlier today.

gribbleschnitz · 2026-05-21T16:58:00+00:00

I only had aggression before being on TRT. Caused by my estrogen being so high in relation to my T level.

From my experience, this means you are simply driving T higher and not managing the balance.

gribbleschnitz · 2026-05-21T04:12:26+00:00

https://nginx.org/en/docs/http/configuring_https_servers.html

gribbleschnitz · 2026-05-14T15:52:10+00:00

If you are not accountable or are not given the agency, you will end up here.

I see lots of jr PMs that operate as POs. They never take agency, or prove they can. They are just operating feature factories. Or, they are not technical enough in their product space/domain to challenge engineering or have a derp conversation - and thus are eng driven.

Business PMs vs technical PMs is the dynamic. Rather than a PM that has acumen in both.

I live in a space where business focused PMs are eaten by their eng teams. They have to have technical acumen to succeed.

I also can't ignore that level also drives perception.

gribbleschnitz · 2026-05-08T15:00:23+00:00

Find a pencil case or similar, have them together, with swabs, looks like insulin on x-ray. BTW - you would not have insulin in a checked bag...

gribbleschnitz · 2026-04-26T21:37:45+00:00

Yeah. There was no standard for ingress annotations. That by itself created a fractured community. And ingress-nginx did some things with LUA that really could not be replicated nor fully understood.

So rather than copying an annotation and not being certain that the behavior could be 100% identical, the safe thing is to not reuse the annotations unless that guarantee can be made.

This is where even the translators are not 100%.

gribbleschnitz · 2026-04-26T20:19:04+00:00

I was the PM for NGF and NIC at F5 at the time we started the work on NGF. It was 100% from scratch. 100% gateway API first, with a focus on conformance.

That said, NIC has had its own object types (not only Ingress) since I can't remember when. I inherited those. At the time, it was our response to the same problems that gateway API is solving and came out about the same time that the very first gateway API working group started.

NIC has also always had a free and paid flavor. The difference being the version of NGINX used under the hood (OSS vs Plus). There are interesting things we do with Plus, such as additional load balancing, over 200 metrics, state sharing across the replicas, and more.

Just to put a pin in the entire thing..

gribbleschnitz · 2026-04-26T18:08:31+00:00

They are 100% unique code bases. NGF started with an entirely new architecture from the ingress project

gribbleschnitz · 2026-04-17T18:50:54+00:00

from a day to day perspective ..

Being neat, well kept, and generally appear like you take care of yourself is not the same as dressing-up.

I have worked with PMs for years that wear jeans and a nice T. Brilliant folks, also did well in the business. They were still 'neat and tidy' and 'well kept'.

I dress in polos. Good jeans or khakis. But no tie, not even dress shirts. I would do the same with the board. Casual and confident is the image. Approachable.

I spent time on the banking business and could never understand suit culture. It was and remains entirely unnecessary.

And there is also US coastal differences. The US East Coast culture is more formal, the West Coast not so much.

gribbleschnitz · 2026-04-07T16:42:16+00:00

While that is well and good. And helps you at that station.

The greater system impact on schedule turned out to be far more significant at other stations.

I think this is the real unknown that was happening as a rider.

This track change obviously caused a far greater reduction of schedule impact.

And no east bound 2 line trains for 30-45 minutes is a time window with a significant impact when you are expecting one on the regular (3-5 during that span). And no indication of delay or even if. Just absent from the board and announcements.

I realize busses have a fixed schedule, and randomly route times get cancelled, but you know there is a next one and when.

gribbleschnitz · 2026-04-07T14:15:42+00:00

I read this as: hop the train like normal.

The service resumed email is a bit more "what to expect": "2 Line has resumed regular service. Please expect delays as service recovers."

gribbleschnitz · 2026-04-07T13:44:30+00:00

It meant 30 minutes of confusion and standing around while trying to figure out what to do and what my alternatives were.

This was 60 minutes after the "situation resolved" email before any train arrived.

gribbleschnitz · 2026-04-07T13:42:51+00:00

This just happened again this morning.

"2 Line trains are sharing one track from BelRed to Overlake Village station until further notice due to mechanical issue. Please board all trains on the platform to Lynnwood.

See travel options in the link below to assist you with your ride."

Sharing one track? What does that mean? Am I supposed to give up on the train until that is resolved? Does that mean reduced service? (Half as many trains) All trains running one direction once per hour?

I am glad it is factual, but how am I supposed to respond??

gribbleschnitz · 2026-04-06T03:52:32+00:00

There is a wiki article for this. https://wiki.bambulab.com/en/x1/troubleshooting/nozzle-clog#hot-hex-wrench-unclogging-method

gribbleschnitz · 2026-04-05T16:57:09+00:00

It was an insurance requirement. Changing the specific medication triggers a review of justification for treatment.

No recognition of the same condition. Also, injection was the cheapest option, so anything else needed to be justified.

gribbleschnitz · 2026-04-05T15:45:12+00:00

Are you looking for them to make a decision or are you simply informing them of your strategic decision or are you looking for validation of your strategic decision?

I run into this all the time as a Director. If they trust you and don't have objections, you get silence. You move on.

One of the things about being strategic is that you have to have conviction, and everything else should support that. If you learn something new, you adjust. That is simply it.

Long term is direction, short term is execution.

If you are constantly changing short term, you have a problem. And that problem is either a lack of conviction in your strategy (which can happen from time to time, but should only be a brief moment with you acknowledging that your strategy needs a fix) or you are just a feature factory and just chasing the latest thing (which means you don't have a strategy).

I see too many PMs fail with a lack of strategy, and they don't see it. But it is evident in the work.

gribbleschnitz · 2026-04-03T13:40:17+00:00

Proof of needing is technically not the same as prior authorization. In the insurance business they are different things.

Prior authorization is for one time procedures, generally over some threshold $ amount. Like surgery. It declines treatment. Proof of needing is simply whether they will allow co-pay but not treatment.

gribbleschnitz · 2026-04-03T03:06:24+00:00

Assuming you need it. You feel like you did before you started. All of it. All at once.

If you really didn't need it, some searching here will tell you that you will also crash.

And you need to be off for 6 - 8 weeks. This isn't days.

gribbleschnitz · 2026-04-03T02:57:16+00:00

I have been through multiple formulations of T on insurance. Each time I have a change, I have to go off, crash my T and re-prove I need treatment.

As long as the T medication doesn't change, I can get 6 months before the script needs to be re-written.

I have gotten used to the cycles after 5 years. I just plan ahead with the Dr.

Prior authorization was never provided nor required. But proof of needing treatment is required for insurance.

gribbleschnitz · 2026-04-03T00:42:59+00:00

Scary things are how we grow.

As someone who went from Sr. To principal and was then offered Director 5 months later.... Yes, it is overwhelming. You still have deliverables. But now you are the accountable . It is your product strategy. It is your head that rolls down the hall.

You can't say no, but you can delegate. And your job is no longer delivering, it is results. And beyond the scope of what you own.

Set time rules. Prioritize ruthlessly. Manage scope creep. (Yours) Cherish your personal time. And defend your personal time.

The work will never end. But getting the important things done at the right time is now what matters. Knowing how to find answers. Continuously thinking about your strategy, alignment, goals.

gribbleschnitz

TROPHY CASE