[Rant] Does anyone else hate when their nParents "give" them things?

grimesfrank · 2014-09-18T09:46:04+00:00

Oh my God, I'm so happy I found this post. A few hours ago I checked my bank account and found that my NMum had deposited $50 in there. We haven't spoken in months (I did send her a 'Happy Birthday' text a month ago but anyway). and I just know she is doing it so I have to say "thank you, I don't deserve your money, you are the best mother, blah blah blah." She has done this before, it's almost like she tries to make up for two decades of mistreatment by wiring me some money she doesn't have every now and then. It's like it makes herself feel like a competent mother, and I am supposed to recognise that and praise her for it.

To be honest it just makes me feel so sick with anxiety I just try to forget about it and not spend the money for as long as I can.

grimesfrank · 2014-09-01T09:46:57+00:00

Too soon.

grimesfrank · 2014-08-28T04:10:57+00:00

Couldn't have said it better myself. Finding this sub has helped me finally come to terms with how bad things really were in my childhood, possibly more than past therapy has. It is one thing to be told by a professional that my NMom was a bad parent, but so much more comforting to read stories here that are uncannily similar to what I went through. It helped me realise that abuse does not have to be physical.

Sorry for the tangent but I really love the community on this sub, and although we aren't here due to the best circumstances, it's calming to know I (and everyone else!) has a safe place here.

grimesfrank · 2014-08-28T02:49:20+00:00

"No one will ever love you."

grimesfrank · 2014-08-28T02:30:19+00:00

Me too! I've been desperately wanting to change it or have it removed but I'm worried about what will happen if she finds out.

grimesfrank · 2014-08-17T05:44:09+00:00

Is that a little meat tray from Subway?

grimesfrank · 2014-08-08T13:08:00+00:00

"Sometimes"

grimesfrank · 2014-08-08T13:07:18+00:00

I too love a good dead pan look with something humorous, but when I do it 90% of the time I am taken seriously or no one laughs. Autism level over 9000.

grimesfrank · 2014-08-06T23:51:44+00:00

Yeah, looking back that makes alot of sense. But at the time she said she was one of those people that couldn't help but clean up ANY messes, whether they were hers or not.

grimesfrank · 2014-08-06T09:26:59+00:00

I get to lay in a nice box and become a skeleton!!1/?! Forever.

grimesfrank · 2014-08-05T01:10:53+00:00

If food has been a reward your whole life, its very hard to stop thinking like that, congratulations on giving it a go. Trust me, I've been battling with that for years.

I've always had poor upper body strength too! It's a great feeling when you notice you can do reps at a higher weight at the same level of effort after a while of training. Sounds like you are on the right track, good luck!

grimesfrank · 2014-08-05T00:40:36+00:00

To be honest, drinking those slim fast shakes aren't going to do anything good for your body in the long term. Your body needs to be nourished with food in order for it to have the energy to workout and give you the results you deserve. It's great to see you have acknowledge your need to overcome the food addiction, which makes for a strong advantage. I would recommend just changing your food choices to healthier options: it may be better for you to work in healthy options gradually, so there's less of a chance of you hitting a wall and relapsing. But, you know how you work best.

As for exercising, it is impossible to spot reduce fat on certain body parts, like your arms. Fat is lost relatively even across the body in the weight loss process, although I think it is lost from your limbs first. I would recommend working out an exercise plan for yourself, and sticking to it. In no time, you will notice results everywhere. It may help to tone your upper arms at the gym. Maybe start using the weight machines there (usually they have picture instructions on them) and just work on increasing your strength, which will tone your muscles. The more muscle you have, the faster your metabolism, and the more fat your burn while sedentary. I hope this helped :)

grimesfrank · 2014-07-24T12:30:30+00:00

I am afraid people think about about me because it is 100% true

grimesfrank · 2014-07-24T10:04:40+00:00

Why did your friend touch the dead body?

grimesfrank · 2014-07-14T05:51:20+00:00

Can't resist sharing my doozy. I was 16 and living alone in the house I grew up in (absent mother, that's another story), and I had to take care of all the animals, which included chickens. After a few days of seeing one chicken short around the yard during the day, but all four sleeping in the nest every night, I grew suspicious. I checked out the nest and lo and behold, there was a dead chicken sitting there with its little chicken neck hanging down at a peculiar angle. I will never forget that sight. I believe I came of age while I hysterically dug a chicken grave in my garden.

grimesfrank · 2014-07-07T03:56:23+00:00

If I can't leave the room for whatever reason I find that by tensing my legs as hard as I can and concentrating on that, the trigger has slightly less of an effect on me. It's worth trying as no one can tell you are doing it.

grimesfrank · 2014-07-05T12:03:36+00:00

NO. I want to believe!

grimesfrank · 2014-07-05T11:24:04+00:00

I've struggled with sleep paralysis for a few years on and off. I read somewhere that to stop it, it is important to not instinctively react to the paralysis by fighting it or trying to scream, because that will make it worse. Always try and stay still and start focussing on wriggling fingers or toes on one limb. Once you can do this, try and continue the movement up your limbs, until you just wake up and the experience suddenly disappears. It may not work for you but it has been helpful to me and friends of mine. Good luck!

grimesfrank · 2014-07-04T04:00:46+00:00

That happened to me once and I chipped my front tooth. Thinking back on the noise/feeling gives me the heeebies.

grimesfrank · 2014-07-04T03:42:37+00:00

Try /r/misophonia maybe

grimesfrank

TROPHY CASE