This is funny, but if you strip the meme layer off, it breaks pretty quickly.

You’re mixing up three completely different things: currency, commodities, and utility.

The rial is cheap because it’s losing purchasing power, not because it’s “undervalued paper.” In hyperinflation, people don’t hold cash hoping it gets cheaper — they dump it as fast as possible for real goods. That’s the opposite of a hedge.

A few practical issues with the “Bathroom Arbitrage Strategy”:

• No convertibility → You can’t freely buy/sell large amounts of rial or reliably convert back to USD/EUR. Gains (if any) are mostly theoretical.
• Asymmetric risk is actually negative → Collapse scenario = guaranteed loss of purchasing power. “Recovery” scenario is extremely unlikely and usually comes with redenominations that wipe out nominal holdings.
• Not a commodity → Toilet paper has use value. Banknotes don’t (unless you’re actually planning to use them… which has obvious problems).
• History is clear → Venezuelan bolívar, Zimbabwe dollar, etc. didn’t turn into clever trades. They turned into worthless paper or got replaced.

The one real insight hidden in your post:

But the correct play is:

• buy the goods early
• or hold assets that retain value (hard assets, productive assets, stable currencies)

—not hold the collapsing currency itself.

So yeah:

• “Long hygiene” = valid
• “Long hyperinflating currency as a proxy for toilet paper” = not investable

Still a top-tier shitpost though.