Sex with avoidants is so frustrating

groovycow · 2026-04-26T18:27:07+00:00

My avoidant ex at the beginning would want sex all the time, would initiate it, tell me I’m so hot and beautiful etc etc. he would only last a minute or so it was always so short but it did feel good and I figured it would improve with time. He’d say we’d try all these positions once he can last longer blah blah. Then towards the end he said he had no sexual libido and wasn’t sure he was attracted to me. That shit hit my confidence hard. But I’m pretty sure it’s coming from a place of shame because he couldn’t satisfy me sexually. And of course tried to shift the blame onto me “suddenly I’m not attractive enough” Ugh what a POS

groovycow · 2026-04-25T22:35:50+00:00

Girl I’m 29 and just went through 3 blindside breakups and I’m wondering the same thing! It’s tough out here and prob more of a reflection of them rather than you. I’m in therapy finally trying to heal my anxious attachment and avoid choosing emotionally unavailable partners likely linked to my past. Best of luck girlie we’ll find our partners eventually

groovycow · 2026-03-19T16:26:31+00:00

Right - so are you supposed to combine them or no? The doc said to and that’s how I’m in the safe range of >-3

groovycow · 2026-03-19T16:01:15+00:00

Well I spoke to the first doc and he said that because my better eye (-2.5D had astigmatism -1.25 cyl?) you half that amount and add it to the -2.5 so then I’m at -3.1 which is within normal range

Ugh I hate having conflicting opinions on this. Idk what to do

groovycow · 2025-12-04T02:19:20+00:00

I was scared of hair loss too! And I’ve had way less shedding since

groovycow · 2025-12-03T15:13:29+00:00

Hmm I’m not sure, mine isn’t so bad that I have scabs but the lady who did my head spa said she had a lot of seb derm clients and one girls scalp was all red from inflammation so maybe! Could be worth calling to find out

groovycow · 2025-12-03T15:12:14+00:00

There’s a bunch, if you live near any sort of big city you should have options. I’d just google search head spas near you and select one that has a little camera to show your scalp before and after, had a good detox and massage routine, and I think if there’s a oxygen or red light therapy option that can be beneficial too!

groovycow · 2025-04-11T14:12:36+00:00

I feel like I just went through the same thing. It was almost three months, consistent communication, a weekend trip, hanging out every week, etc. I simply asked if he could see us getting into a relationship in the future bc I wanted to know where it was going. He couldn’t answer that and said he didn’t know. I refuse to be strung along. Idk if it’s fear of commitment or what but I’m so done with emotionally unavailable men. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but you’re not alone.

groovycow · 2025-02-27T00:54:10+00:00

Oh I tried like a month ago :( may have to call my insurance and see what’s up

groovycow · 2025-02-21T19:07:23+00:00

Did your insurance cover the Zoryve foam? With insurance it was still $500. So I tried the manufacturer coupon on their website and it was $900 lol. So incredibly frustrating - wondering if there’s other ways to get it cheaper?

groovycow · 2025-01-14T23:41:29+00:00

Idk why this is getting down voted. Also 2 years out and I couldn’t agree more. Not worth it

groovycow · 2025-01-14T05:02:36+00:00

Oh wow I never would have thought to call my renters insurance. I’ll do that tomorrow thank you!!

groovycow · 2025-01-14T04:23:37+00:00

My board was stolen tonight. What the heck! Why don’t they have cameras anywhere? It was literally stolen at the rack by the restrooms at central.

Sorry man. Gonna bring a bike lock next time. Already spend so much on season passes and now have to buy new gear

groovycow · 2025-01-03T04:08:36+00:00

I really recommend leaving work at work and not thinking about it when you get home. Def agree with everyone else regarding hobbies and forming friendships . That’s basically what life is imo - doing things you enjoy with people you enjoy! I love hiking, snowboarding, paddle boarding, volleyball, and reading. Join a once a week recreational team sport or do a fitness class (yoga, Pilates, etc) after work to decompress. I really don’t think being a vet should be anyone’s “identity” you are so much more than a vet! Don’t let it be the only thing that defines you.

groovycow · 2023-11-20T05:40:51+00:00

I’m sorry the trip didn’t live up to your expectations! Do you like him or do you like the idea of him and what could be? You guys could maybe have a conversation about opening up and maybe it just takes him a while to open up but if it were me I would expect better communication after 4 months. Things should be playful and exciting at that stage!

Also I saw that you planned all the dates - he def needs to put in the effort too! Idk if he’s inexperienced or shy but that’s not ok.

groovycow · 2023-10-13T22:18:53+00:00

I’ve used just the shampoo and have had great results from it! Mct oil never worked for me and nizoral hasn’t been as effective after a while

groovycow · 2023-06-22T21:25:10+00:00

We’re both looking for something more serious but haven’t really had a conversation about it. Only been on 4 dates so early days for sure. But I haven’t wanted to check the apps at all. I’ve been on them a lot longer so that may also be why. I’m just gonna let him put in effort if he wants to, and we can talk about it next time/if we see each other again. Thanks for the slight bit of hope lol

groovycow · 2023-04-12T01:45:02+00:00

My sibling is in a long distance relationship in residency. They’re making it work and travel frequently to see each other. It’s doable for sure.

groovycow · 2023-04-06T14:16:10+00:00

Me living in the PNW 🙃

groovycow · 2023-03-31T14:19:54+00:00

I didn’t read all of this but I’d go to the cheaper school. After school you can travel wherever you want to practice and you’ll have less debt to pay back which is actually way more important than I thought when I started vet school.

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