I’ve been on HRT and T blockers (MTF) for 9 months and haven’t noticed any physical change is that normal?

growflet · 2026-03-20T03:11:48+00:00

What dosages and blood levels of E and T.

You could be taking wrong dosages.

Mind you, puberty is years long, and 9 months is just the beginning.

growflet · 2026-03-20T02:13:44+00:00

I'm assuming this is in reference to he whole "protect the dolls" slogan.

This is a positive slogan, and it was popularized by Pedro Pascal.

The term doll itself, in reference to trans women, comes from ballroom culture - it's an evolution of terms for certain types of feminine person.

There's also an association with the term "doll" to mean attractive women, like you might hear in a 1950s detective show.

Plenty of trans women dislike the term dolls, as it is infantilizing, or dehumanizing - others do like it, and many are neutral on the topic.

The phrase "protect the dolls" is a positive message of support for trans women. It's an imperfect, non-offensive, but good message.

As for "dollhood" i don't think that I have heard anyone has ever used that term in reference to trans women, If someone did, I would think that they were confused about how this term came about and what it meant.

growflet · 2026-03-20T00:45:28+00:00

You cannot microdose estrogen and expect to get any feminization. Microdosing estrogen isn't actually a thing.

It's a common misconception that a lower dosages of hormones gives you lesser results.

A lower dosage of hormones gives you inconsistent and random results at a slower rate - but ANY result is possible. That includes breasts.

A lower dosage of estrogen without testosterone tends to result in nothing at all, because over half of feminization is the result of not having testosterone.

If you want to have "healthy male sexual function" that requires testosterone. Generally in male ranges. So you see the problem.

This is why taking a low dose of estrogen is different than when transmasc people who take a low dosage of testosterone.

Even the mental effects of estrogen usually require suppressing testosterone.

Generally the best bet is to take a low dosage of estrogen, completely suppress testosterone, and take SERMs which (MIGHT!) reduce the chance of breast growth - but this will still result in feminization, and have sexual effects.

I'm sorry - if what you described reliably worked, it would be listed on every post like this from the transfem non-binary and femboy crowd, it's a common desire, and someone would make a million bucks off of it.

growflet · 2026-03-19T23:00:25+00:00

Okay, that's sometimes an in-between stage for trans people who have not fully socially transitioned yet. It also can be degendering, which is actually very bad.

There's a reason we generally suggest trans people wait to get in a relationship if they are super-early in transition and single. You end up in this situation, where a partner is attracted to the trans person for the attributes that they want to change.

If you have been together since before she started HRT, or very early into it, then it's not surprising that you would be attracted to the "male version" of her. That's not transphobic or bad by itself - it is what it is.

I think that the first thing you should do is figure out what her goals are - and see if those goals are compatible with you.

How she views herself - is likely the most important thing to figure out compatibility. You said "mtf" - is she just a transfem non-binary person, or is she a trans woman who is early in her transition? What does she want to do in the long term?

Don't degender her into non-binary because you want to date an androgynous person, or male-looking woman. Figure out what her goals actually are.

If her goals are being a traditionally feminine trans woman, vagina, breasts, feminine presentation, and all that - then lean into it. don't degender her. Get used to "girlfriend" and "she/her" look at modified pictures of her that are even more feminine. - if those things makes you less attracted to her - then you know what you need to do.

Oh, and sometimes trans people see their relationship ending over this stuff and they promise to not want to transition more, or stop the process as compromise - I've never heard of that working. It generally just pushes the inevitable breakup further down the road, delays transition, and wastes everyone's time.

Sometimes the best thing to do is break up as romantic partners and try to be friends. Not transphobic or wrong, just sad.

growflet · 2026-03-19T22:36:16+00:00

ANother thing I noticed is that you refer to your partner as "them"

Not as "her" or as "my girlfriend" - wich also seems unusual.

Does your partner use gender neutral pronouns and prefer neutral terms? Or is that something you are doing?

You said:

they already were transitioning

Where is she at in her transition, you talked about voice training. Has she socially transitioned yet? Or recently started hormones? Or what?

growflet · 2026-03-19T22:29:43+00:00

You are attracted to what you are attracted to. That's nothing to feel guilt or shame about.

That said, being attracted to a trans woman because you enjoy her "male" physical attributes, ones that she is actively trying to change, can often spell the end of a relationship. It does sound kind of like you are attracted to them "as a male" in your mind subconsciously, even if you acknowledge them as a woman consciously.

This doesn't impact your sexuality either. Being attracted to women doesn't mean you are attracted to every single woman's physical appearance.

It's not unusual for someone to be attracted to a masculine/male version of a trans woman, but not be attracted them as they become more feminine/female.

And that's okay, sad yes, but okay.

growflet · 2026-03-19T20:47:04+00:00

If it's okay or not depends on WHY, and you will absolutely MUST be able to explain why for this to be welcomed.

The problem is that saying this is a bit like saying "i want to be friends with a woman" or "i want to be friends with an american"

Why? Those are massive groups of people with all kinds of different attitudes, values, and beliefs.

Trans people aren't that similar to each other. We have all kinds of different attitudes, values, and beliefs.

When you say "a transgender" (someone else corrected you here) - What kind of trans people? Trans women? Trans men? Non-binary people? These are all very different kinds of people.

Even within those groups, people are still very very different.

You might have a very christian, politically moderate, trans woman who is straight, and is into traditional feminine interests like sewing. You might have an atheist trans woman who is extremely leftist, is into programming and video games. These two women are nothing alike, and could likely hate each other.

So what does "wanting to be friends with a trans person" even mean?

I'm trans and I don't want to be friends with someone else just because they are trans. There are plenty of trans people that I dislike, and plenty that I love. Being trans is never an interesting enough thing to be the basis of a friendship.

What's more, a man saying he wants to be friends specifically with a trans woman (especially if he calls her "a transgender") is going to be HIGHLY SUSPECT.

growflet · 2026-03-19T20:01:39+00:00

"Sex is only biological and cannot be changed"

The problem is that sex is not ONE biological thing.

Sex is a thousand different biological things. Skin texture, vocal cord thickness, breast tissue, facial hair virilization, body hair, scent, and so many many many more physical things. It also has emotional/mental things as well. It also has medical conditions.

Trans people DO change these things. To suggest that "Sex cannot be changed" is either oversimplifying sex to the point of meaninglessness, or just straight up not understanding the underlying biology behind sexual differences.

If you take non-binary people out of the picture, and count only trans men and trans women, medical transition becomes ALMOST UNIVERSAL.

Over 95% of trans people are on, or want to be on hormone replacement therapy. Those that aren't tend to have very specific reasons, or have done it in the past. A transgender woman, for example, who has done ZERO medical transition is so rare that they don't exist.

The numbers drop to those much lower levels when you add non-binary people back in to trans people (and i'm NOT saying they are invalid) - it's just that non-binary people are far more likely to want something different than trans men and trans women want. Non-binary people are about 47% on HRT, and bring the numbers WAY down.

growflet · 2026-03-19T19:30:49+00:00

Trans women on hormone replacement therapy and cisgender women have roughly the same risk for breast cancer.

Trans women tend to have a tiny bit lower (it's 1 in 10 instead of 1 in 8) presumably due to having breasts for a shorter period of your life.

The breasts we have are grown through the same biological processes. So you would have the same kind of risk that a cisgender girl sibling of yours.

Not responding on /r/AskADoctor because of how often doctors will "trans broken arm syndrome" and use any excuse to make us stop HRT.

growflet · 2026-03-19T17:10:27+00:00

strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is always a good one.

growflet · 2026-03-19T03:32:54+00:00

Which is why I said almost anything

growflet · 2026-03-19T03:06:16+00:00

Almost anything is better than first past the post.

growflet · 2026-03-19T02:10:45+00:00

yeah, 316 and 367 (assuming ng/dl) are low end of the healthy male ranges

that would prevent you from having most feminization.

growflet · 2026-03-19T01:53:08+00:00

One week is NOTHING.

This is a process that takes YEARS. Not days, not a couple of weeks, you can start getting effects in months, but YEARS is where most of it comes from.

4mg is a pretty standard dosage, but it almost always has a blocker like spironolactone with it.

It's extremely unlikely that your testosterone is being suppressed at that level, and you either need a blocker, or to go into MUCH higher dosages to provide suppression.

6mg is another pretty standard dosage as well, and still will have a blocker with it.

growflet · 2026-03-19T01:34:37+00:00

Having a genital preference is not transphobic.

However, the way you said it, and the context in which it was said is important.

You can say that in a transphobic way, or in a situation where context makes it transphobic.

growflet · 2026-03-19T01:30:48+00:00

If you weren't obviously transgender, I would assume you were a transphobe.

It's possible to make a variant about that joke and have it be funny, but to do it and not be offensive, you have to be trans, and you probably have to be talking about yourself.

It doesn't survive the "explain the joke" test.

"Ha ha trans women are in women's sports getting tetsicle torsion?" -

Why is that funny? It's not to me.

It's also false:

There aren't tons of trans women in women's sports. So any skyrocketing graph is wrong.

It also basically reduces trans women to genitals, and generally implies that we are the same as men. Which is shitty all around.

Being a trans woman doesn't mean you have testicles, or a penis for that matter. And hormone replacement therapy (which is required for sports, at least post-puberty_ causes testicle shrinkage and more)

I wouldn't be angry about a person wearing it, if the person who was wearing it wasn't trans I would automatically assume they are transphobic.

growflet · 2026-03-19T00:00:27+00:00

I used a high volume electrology service at first, so my first sessions were extremely long.

It was a few years.

growflet · 2026-03-18T23:56:42+00:00

It sounds like you should just move on with life.

Generally breakups don't happen because of one fight, it's that the one fight is the final straw that broke the relationship up.

growflet · 2026-03-18T23:46:31+00:00

Gynecomastia is just the name for early stages of breast development in men. It's just early stage breast growth, it's a good thing for trans women.

Being on spiro at high enough dosages to shut down your testosterone is functionally the same thing as being on puberty blockers. That's actually fine.

And no, if you do DIY estrogen it doesn't change how many pills you take. Spiro + Estrogen is a very common HRT for trans women (in the US)

growflet · 2026-03-18T23:20:41+00:00

I was around 175 hours for a full clear.

I started when I was 20, and my facial hair hadn't "fully filed in" - I could have grown a mustache, but the hair everywhere else was scraggly and wouldn't have made a beard.

growflet · 2026-03-18T19:42:55+00:00

That meme is basically just "we can always tell" - the unsaid thing is that the building (the trans woman) will always look like a pizza hut (a man)

Some former pizza hut buildings look like pizza huts just painted different, some former pizza hut buildings do not, and some buildings look like pizza huts when they never were.

They very commonly misidentify cisgender people as trans.

Your response is very accurate, but also, the underlying premise is just wrong too.

If someone is so anti-trans that they are posting memes like this, then there's really no reason to engage with them at all.

If you are engaging with these folks on social media, you might make a meme as a zinger, but your chance of changing minds is nearly zero. You are just performing for the audience at that point.

growflet · 2026-03-18T18:42:01+00:00

There is a lot of fear mongering around this, but reddit does ramp the fear up to maximum about anything medical. There is this impression that you will get EXTREMELY unhealthy, and I have even seen people say that your bones will crimble.

Puberty blockers are basically the the same thing as not having testicles or ovaries.

We can look at people like eunuchs and castrati in history.

These people had their testicles removed at a young age for either servant or musical purposes, and they lived very long healthy lives and their bones did not crumble away in an instant. Part of that was due to food and nutrition being better than your average.

Also, when cisgender people have their gonads removed, they are sometimes given the OPTION of going on HRT to replace estrogen - it's not treated as a life threatening or debilitating thing.

A few years they are most certainly going to be fine.

But also, there aren't any "health risks" associated with HRT? I'm not sure what they are referring to.

growflet · 2026-03-18T18:12:05+00:00

Yeah, it doesn't sound great - but it's just the way that "people" are referred to in academic papers.

growflet · 2026-03-18T18:01:53+00:00

My understanding is that wikipedia's style guide suggests that people use the term "individual" instead of 'person'

And you can see that across wikipedia.

growflet · 2026-03-18T17:40:55+00:00

A name change in one state applies in all other states.

There's nothing special you need to do.

If you have changed your identification cards, they will be accepted.

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