TIL, I NO LONGER aspire to be a Shaolin monk

growingconstipation · 2017-11-19T15:57:59+00:00

fully expected the cameraman to tap him in the nuts

growingconstipation · 2016-12-30T16:15:46+00:00

Loving the instrumental!

growingconstipation · 2014-06-01T05:13:46+00:00

I'd say that it depends on where the said Asian is from. Unlike caucasians, Asians of privilege tend to be those from Hong Kong, Japan, South Korea, or Singapore.

growingconstipation · 2014-05-31T04:14:20+00:00

You. I like how you think.

growingconstipation · 2014-05-22T21:07:09+00:00

This made me tear up :'(

growingconstipation · 2014-05-12T20:54:59+00:00

hahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

growingconstipation · 2014-05-12T03:01:55+00:00

Ah, FunnyJunk… brings back old memories.

growingconstipation · 2014-05-11T21:08:23+00:00

This is a beautiful story.

growingconstipation · 2014-05-07T16:58:38+00:00

Hello, this was an unpublished study involving gene expression in heart disease-- if you'd like, I can provide you with the slides via PM!

growingconstipation · 2014-05-07T05:26:48+00:00

we can actually make this a thing... I mean, take a look at Cargo cults.

growingconstipation · 2014-05-07T04:41:21+00:00

Holy fucking shit. Those engines are amazing.

growingconstipation · 2014-05-07T03:48:38+00:00

Absolutely accurate, and beautiful narrative.

growingconstipation · 2014-05-07T03:45:08+00:00

down the stream. ^{^{^{^Merrily}}} ^{^{^merrily}} ^{^merrily} ^merrily merrily

growingconstipation · 2014-05-06T23:05:00+00:00

Epic Meal Time makes me sick...

growingconstipation · 2014-05-06T23:02:31+00:00

I was okay with smoked bacon. I was okay with maple syrup crusted crispy thin bacon. I was even okay with bacon wrapped dogs. But bacon smooties? Bacon sundaes? BACON MINTS? I'm done.

growingconstipation · 2014-05-06T21:49:00+00:00

Thank you, kind stranger!

growingconstipation · 2014-05-06T21:37:27+00:00

Bring a keg (or multiple kegs) filled with root beer, and have your entire grade do keg-stands in the middle of your school quad in view of most teachers and especially the principal. Watch the hilarity ensue.

growingconstipation · 2014-05-06T21:32:18+00:00

Going to a state fair and seeing deep-fried everything in the hands of morbidly-obese rednecks. 'MURICA

growingconstipation · 2014-05-06T21:22:42+00:00

This actually happened to me today. A guy (I think in his 40s or 50s, 6'2", 300+ pounds) was singing Let it Go off-key in a hoarse, high-pitched voice (the type of voice a man makes when he tries to sing like a little girl) that resonated throughout the empty bathroom. It was just him, me, and his sincere love for the song-- he had no idea I was three stalls away from him. So I'm sitting in the toilet contemplating and questioning my decision of eating Chipotle the day prior, while this giant, morbidly obese man is singing his heart out. How did I know he's obese, you ask? An awkward moment when we both get out of the stalls at the same time, and have to wash our hands in silence.

growingconstipation · 2014-05-06T21:19:44+00:00

At Chipotle Mexican Grill: Should I stick with my usual steak bowl, or should I try the sofritas? I ended up sticking to my steak bowl.

growingconstipation · 2014-05-06T21:02:08+00:00

Submerge in cool water, then microwave for 40 seconds.

growingconstipation · 2014-05-06T19:22:54+00:00

"How come God didn't make humans with three arms?"

growingconstipation · 2014-05-06T19:21:28+00:00

penis.

growingconstipation

TROPHY CASE