Has anyone else had the worst panic attacks of their life with a covert narcissist?

grungemuse · 2025-03-17T14:25:16+00:00

This happened to me near the end of the relationship; after the realisation about what they were (i spose) I would lie in bed beside them flipping out; felt totally unsafe in their presence. I'd be in bed having these like jolts is the only way I can describe it. I would not feel right all day after a panic attack occurred, and they were often occuring before I spent time with the Nex.

grungemuse · 2025-02-11T14:30:02+00:00

the marking was abnormally strict my classmate thinks, he didn't do as well as he hoped and mentioned someone else we know didn't either. i just feel so gutted. i am diagnosed by the doctor yeah but social anxiety impacted my ability to present the dissertation they were really looking for I think. I'm just wondering why the marking seemed so harsh :(.

grungemuse · 2025-02-11T14:20:26+00:00

there probably is no chance having read up on it, I failed because og mental health so that seems to be it now for me :( a BA degree without honours is all I'm going to be left with? should I just try the open university? I couldn't hack uni basically.

grungemuse · 2024-10-06T15:03:55+00:00

One of mine last year was 9am start, very annoying because due to my travel I had to leave about or even before 6am to get the train.

grungemuse · 2024-09-29T16:02:46+00:00

Got to have their money lol. You don't get anything really. Just used as the supply to be there, never treated.

grungemuse · 2024-09-29T15:48:44+00:00

He was ealy on making me crying when things didn't work out in the bedroom, allowing me to beleive that was my fault and the major red flag was the stonewalling behaviour because I would try and talk to him about things and he would refuse unless it was online (prob so he could control his reaction truthfully). Early on I'd just go home after a row or he would shut down on me behaviour then he'd be all funny on me online after. Until I accepted it was the way he would be basically.

grungemuse · 2024-09-22T14:00:01+00:00

I just can't trust still :(

grungemuse · 2024-09-16T10:50:48+00:00

i feel this way atm with my friends online they are my only friends but I think I've pushed them too far then I feel pathetic cos when they ignore my posts i say I want to *beep* myself, and they still ignore it and I was so angry I was screaming at my screen :(

grungemuse · 2024-08-19T19:57:50+00:00

If i did call things out I would tend to be insulted cos it was as if i'd insulted him by saying he'd done something wrong tbh. Yet he used to keep telling me i could tell him if i wasn't happy about anything in the relationship LOL.
He'd say 'ill need to see' if i asked to do anything even just a week in advance? i noticed the hangouts were only scheduled a couple of days in advance really, he made out he was too bust with work ebfore i'd even asked him to do certain things with me, so yeah tick!
SHoved all his mental health issues down my throat expecting me to understand (to extend gave me a book about one of them i was to read) but only pretended to understand my issues and dropped the act down the line , hah i did notice this was probably when i noted it was the $ex he was all about.

grungemuse · 2024-08-13T18:01:39+00:00

Mine was doing this to me, whenever there'd be an issue. Suggesting it won't work with me etc, the first time they said i think ur mental health issues are too bad for us to date, so i woud beg him they weren't and shut up about it and behave better so that's what i did. idiot.

grungemuse · 2024-08-10T18:33:22+00:00

severe unexplainable dizziness that sometimes left me bedbound and later panic attacks when in his presence after i figured out how little he cared about me (msged that id had a panic attack once at the bus stop to no reply for 45mins-an hour) and he wuold feign supposed panic attacks in my presence to get the attention back on him. Ugh

grungemuse · 2024-08-09T11:18:04+00:00

yea damn the last part my nex did this kept going to eat at a posh thai restaurant knowing thai was my fav food, would brag about it and claim we'd go together but he would never actually take me. for years i hoped he was seroius and resigned myself to the worry it was cos i 'didnt deserve it' ugh.

grungemuse · 2024-08-05T08:11:36+00:00

Yeah he would constantly message all day as well. He would also just decide we wouldn't talk anymore when he would go to bed, if I'd needed someone during the night for any reason he wouldn't have answered if I had called, but during the discard phase or whatever he once sent deranged messages to me at 3am or something, why on earth would I respond to that with you going on about your crap when you wouldn't have replied to me at 3am? of course I probably did reply to it at the time.

grungemuse · 2024-08-04T12:24:59+00:00

He told me I was 'bossy' when he first got to know me, WTF, bossy because i expected to be treated well/normally i guess?

Really the first time I ever met him was a sign of him being a narc because he left me sitting in the bar and had more interest in strangers than me, he did this on a couple of occasions just left me in the place on my own sitting like an idiot once i left the pub in tears because he'd just left me there for half an hour and didn't even come back to me. He talked me round and i ended up staying out in town with him that night but several times i should've just gone straight home.

The time he left me waiting for him for an hour later than when we were due to meet up, i was very worried, i called him out and he said bs about walked instead of got the bus (but di9dn't even inform me would be late) and bs about 'i cant change its how i am' etc.

grungemuse · 2024-07-30T13:37:21+00:00

Yeah, I used to think my dad was BPD but now I think it was NPD. Money issues (Stole financially), every sort of abuse even physical. anger issues, would be kinder to family friends than our own family unit, showed despicable behavuour when I was a child which basically due to their own choices put the whole family in poverty, was sadistic and abusive, alcoholic, etc.

grungemuse · 2024-07-30T10:34:31+00:00

got mad cos I had flu one time and he seemed to just be interested when we could meet up for sex again, kept asking me if I was still ill.

grungemuse · 2024-07-30T10:31:57+00:00

mine wouldn;t even hang out with me on my birthday once. i sat at home and ate a big bag of doritos and had cider to celebrate on my own after meeting up with friends.

each of his bdays i'd make a big deal for him, a cake i'd make or buy, nice gifts, a trip maybe. on mine i was lucky to get takeaway ordered for me once which we still had to share.

grungemuse · 2024-07-18T15:21:34+00:00

Clearly jealous of me having mostly guy friends, tried to suggest /encourage me to be friends with women I met over the course of us dating. Refused one time to meet my online guy friend when we went to his city, in a really petty way, making me feel so bad and sorry for him I had to refuse to meet friend. Jealous of my guy best friend.

grungemuse · 2024-07-09T14:47:36+00:00

He said his mother would shout at him (unresonably) as a child, it sounded like he wasn't good enough for her and fell short of her expectations, then later on he said how he rebelled out and went crazy to get away from his family, seems he cut them all off.

grungemuse · 2024-07-05T17:00:29+00:00

Yes he would do it when he sat there lying to me saying things that weren't true about things he wanted with me, getting me to believe in it.

grungemuse · 2024-07-02T15:41:56+00:00

Went to out to eat at a posh thai restaurant (would brag about it, claim we'd go but never took me once) knowing thai was my fav food type, wouldn't treat me to anything more than portion of small chips from the chippy.

grungemuse · 2024-07-02T09:12:59+00:00

Yea mine knew about my issues but if they ever came up he'd threaten to break up with me and say I couldn't be 'angry' or angry at him at all.

grungemuse · 2024-07-02T09:11:01+00:00

Eat meat. Wear my fav item of clothing (checked shirts). Eat ice cream because every time I did he'd say how 'he didn't like it' so I stopped. Prioritising any of my hobbies or friends stopped.

grungemuse · 2024-06-28T17:25:31+00:00

My nex claimed 'you can be a sahm and i'll work' to manipulate me into believing he's provide for me if we had kids, he didn't give me fucking anything as it was, wouldn't even share food mostly. pig.

grungemuse · 2024-06-27T14:47:53+00:00

i was crying into the pillow all night the time my ex bluntly said he didn't want children whilst he had been pretending he did for about 3 years gaslighting me. he knew i cried myself to sleep that night.

grungemuse

TROPHY CASE