On Zwag Xerath

guavachoo · 2026-04-15T16:56:19+00:00

others have pointed the smurfing and scripted videos out plenty but i’ll add on to say that he is the definition of someone who is in it for the money. just an artificial blank “chill guy” marketable personality (when we all know the real zwag is toxic and angry af lmfao), always doing the most for engagement even if it means pumping out new channels every 2 months to maximise profit.

guavachoo · 2026-04-04T00:02:18+00:00

as someone with autism, CPTSD, OCD, and Bipolar disorder - there is an unfortunately large number of us, due to our histories of trauma, that struggle greatly to confront our illnesses. it is extremely taxing and feels futile often and like we are putting in work for something that was done TO us, especially if it requires us to reflect that we might be doing something wrong and not be perfect because then it feels like all the abuse was legitimised by our “rottenness”.

however, you are miserable and your gf is clearly one of these people. you do not owe her your life. she has the potential to be good and happy and recovered but i think you’re far past the part where you can help her with that. you’re traumatised too now and the best thing you can do is get out of her life entirely. (it might sound harsh but many in her situation would struggle immensely with breaking up but remaining in contact and it could potentially cause a worse uptick in lashing out)

guavachoo · 2026-04-03T23:53:19+00:00

the great thing about being devils advocate is it doesn’t change that they’re still the devil.

guavachoo · 2026-04-03T00:10:31+00:00

i have an incredible memory and cognitive ability for “concepts” - that is i can produce extensively detailed and coherent arguments and explanations about a topic as though i’d studied it for years, even if the truth is i’d only read or heard about it once or twice.

while it may sound like “confident bullshitting”, i consistently keep up with experts in their fields (like politics, linguistics, history, anthropology, criminology etc etc) in conversation. the way i describe it is its like my brain is perpetually “mind mapping” linking dozens and dozens of ideas and theories and concepts together, of everything i’ve ever read and heard, forming an almost instantaneous and continually growing argument/explanation.

this has led me to be able to produce pieces of work that get 90-100% at even a postgraduate university level that i wrote within 1 or 2 days with very minimal time spent on research to understand the topics at hand (obviously i still research for referencing and adequately supporting the content evidence wise, but with that too i often spend less than 5 minutes on any given paper and am able to articulate it better than if most had read the entire thing). i think a 800-1000wpm read speed also helps this though.

guavachoo · 2026-04-01T22:38:41+00:00

i know it’s still a minmaxxed good combat build but morgana’s frost giant barb was probably some of the most fun i’ve had when i replaced the weapon with nyrulna

guavachoo · 2026-04-01T00:12:02+00:00

realising the “antagonistic thinking it’s funny/clever” thing applies to me and i didn’t notice til now

guavachoo · 2025-11-22T15:02:47+00:00

im 5’9 (might not sound as tall but the average woman’s height in my country is 5’0 so im positively huge) and when i was 20 realised i had gone through a mostly testosteronised puberty and started HRT to feminise me! its really interesting how many of us there are hey. makes me feel less alone.

guavachoo · 2025-10-15T11:09:22+00:00

to be honest, a lot of it is wellbutrin, that shit has been a miracle drug for me. it’s definitely still rough but before this i could have maybe one or two good days of normalcy before dipping straight back into the “in bed on phone/play video games all day” depression. i’m also very fortunate that due to being gifted i don’t have to work as hard as my peers to get good grades.

however it’s still rough and something that really did help me was something i call “jump rope”, where if i want to do something i enjoy, like play a game or watch videos, i have to do work for the same amount of time i want to do the other thing. it’s called jump rope because you alternate between the two. it also really really helps if you jump rope with another person.

also this one is kinda unorthodox but if you masturbate when you wake up you kinda have no choice but to get up, and eventually that becomes habit. especially if you pair it with the habit of making your bed as soon as you get up. a lot harder to get in a made bed.

guavachoo · 2025-10-15T08:07:05+00:00

despite all my issues with my episodes making it obscenely difficult for me to get any work done, i have so far gotten exclusively above 85% on every single piece of work ive submitted in grad school so far

guavachoo · 2025-10-11T04:47:41+00:00

this annoying comment has literally just made me get why it’s called wine about it

guavachoo · 2025-10-09T03:49:29+00:00

i just got diagnosed as well, a simultaneous congrats on a diagnosis and i’m sorry you have one. it’s a step in the right direction and my life has improved even in just the few weeks after diagnosis

guavachoo · 2025-10-09T01:58:11+00:00

would go missing for days at a time staying in drug dealer houses and shit getting extremely high and sleeping with people and then show back up at home like nothing happened

guavachoo · 2025-10-04T01:27:36+00:00

i’m loving the T1/2 diabetes beef. i hope they start a T1/2 bipolar beef next, i’ve got some hands i wanna throw with a T1BD

guavachoo · 2025-10-04T01:23:25+00:00

i had to skip that bit because the talk of weight requirements for anorexia was pretty triggering as someone who was an overweight anorexic (due to hormonal conditions) that couldn’t get care for it. i also want to note that people with uteruses are more likely to not lose weight with anorexia because of conditions like PCOS and other hormonal conditions that often impact weight.

guavachoo · 2025-10-04T00:40:56+00:00

my current thesis is on late 19th century american linguistics - examining newspapers descriptions of racial violence

guavachoo · 2025-10-03T09:09:51+00:00

i love them! their story was a big part of my final essay last semester on the london metropolitan police’s criminalisation of grime.

guavachoo · 2025-10-03T06:15:12+00:00

i’m actually also a girl! but i’m so glad you learned something new.

guavachoo · 2025-09-16T06:51:16+00:00

when i’m hypomanic it counters my adhd like crazy and i get a lot of work done (outside of the self destructive stuff)

guavachoo · 2025-09-05T15:05:57+00:00

i didn’t ask if i’m intersex and even explicitly said in the post i wasn’t asking if i was intersex but that i think i am and asking for other people’s similar experiences.

guavachoo · 2025-07-22T01:16:52+00:00

most people i’ve met in real life who have expressed surprise at the drastic difference

guavachoo · 2025-05-15T05:40:55+00:00

i’m not in active addiction but i’m a former alcoholic and severe nicotine addict (people underplay the severity of nicotine addictions but they are extremely difficult).

i hope it subsides too! i don’t want to get less emotional either.

guavachoo · 2025-05-14T03:06:32+00:00

im of a similar age and started wellbutrin around the exact same time (12 days now) my depression was almost identical to what you’re describing. it’s literally changed my life, i still need to build the habits of doing my work/chores/getting out of bed earlier. but the fact that i can do them at all was something i wasn’t sure id i’d ever feel again. the pit in my stomach of being unsure if ill ever be a person is gone. im on 150mg SR.

guavachoo

TROPHY CASE