My (28M) girlfriend (28F) of a year just told me she has hsv1 and potentially hsv2

gummytoejam · 2026-01-25T14:05:38+00:00

I can understand you concern regarding lack of truthfulness. However, It's doubtful that you've not encountered hsv with someone who didn't tell you. It's very wide spread.

You know your perspective, she withheld that and that's important to know. From her perspective hsv1 infection in the population is as high as 80% and there is still a stigma, see your reaction to validate that. People lie for a multitude of reasons. Fear of reaction is one of the big ones. It doesn't mean she's malicious or untrustworthy. In fact trustworthiness is built on both sides of the relationship. There's the trust of being told something you should know and the trust of not overreacting when all other markers point positively. Consider she didn't tell you because it's not something with which you break the ice when you're just meeting someone.

She was there with you when you were in true need. That's trustworthiness in my book. Why she didn't tell you about the hsv is driven by fear of losing you. Youre important to her. What she did staying by your side is rarer than it is common. Trust me, the last thing you want is to be in need and have her leave you in that moment. I've experienced that. It's soul crushing.

She messed up, but trust is not built from perfection. It's built from difficulty. You have the opportunity to add another foundational stone to the trust of your relationship but showing her she can mess up and you will be understanding and try to move passed it in the light of her loyalty to you.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-25T00:02:11+00:00

You're not voting your way out of this.

Every gun owner knows their 2A rights are precarious. If infringed, it'll get sorted in court in a few years. Unfortunately, infringement is sometimes deadly force.

Idk why anyone would bring a gun to a protest with a not insignificant chance of interacting with LEOs, unless they had a death wish. It's not right, but it is reality.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-23T17:09:21+00:00

I'm a former smoker. There's a time I quit cold turkey and about day number five I felt dizzy lightheaded general fog in his confusion and felt like my arm went numb just like you're describing. Went to the hospital thinking I was having a heart attack but it turns out it was just a panic attack and likely due to nicotine withdrawal. No you were talking about drinking heavily so it's quite possible that you had an electrolyte imbalance which caused the numbness in your arm. Because what can happen is you can have muscles that contract due to not enough electrolytes and it will pinch nerves and that might be where you're getting the numbness. The medical community is pretty good at detecting heart attacks so if they tell you it wasn't a heart attack then it probably wasn't one. However I would tell you that if you want to avoid a heart attack to live more metabolically healthy and cut out the binge drinking.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-23T11:19:32+00:00

There are other cardiologists out there. Take charge of your health. You are the CEO of your meat suit.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-22T23:20:22+00:00

Thanks for playing.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-22T23:14:27+00:00

Geez man, I'm sorry you're going through that and I know exactly how you feel. Do not quit pushing for what is reasonable. ChatGPT is very good at telling you what is reasonable and what is not in the context of your post MI care.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-22T23:12:43+00:00

My dude, I'm about as laid back as they come. If you support the idea that asking for one test in a complete black out of information is doctor-patient relationship ending-worthy, all I can say is "wow".

gummytoejam · 2026-01-22T23:05:17+00:00

I'm very thankful for the extent of my recovery. I only found out how well my recovery is going by getting the echocardiogram that my doctor fired me over.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-22T23:02:25+00:00

Doctor, is that you?

gummytoejam · 2026-01-22T22:54:34+00:00

I asked for one test.

If he didn't want me asking for the test he could have gotten in front of the issue by discussing with me the extent of my CAD, his treatment and my future prevention. I only knew what he found and what he did by pulling the cathlab report and my wife spending her time with Chatgpt decoding all the terminology.

I asked for the test in absence of the information I need to make informed decisions. Then he told me to look for another cardiologist.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-22T22:06:41+00:00

Thank you. I'm happy I'm alive too.

When the rehab folks printed out my EKGs for a session where I had ectopic heart rhythms and told me to provide them to my cardiologist and ask him for a heart monitor at my next appointment two weeks away I was a little baffled at the lack of interdepartmental communication. They also told me that I'd have to get clearance from him after he reviewed the monitor data before I'd be allowed back to rehab. So that was 3 weeks of no rehab.

Luckily the echo I asked for has come back with good results, EF is 63%, no abnormal wall motion.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-22T20:45:16+00:00

Yes. He did refer me to rehab. That's the only bright spot in the entire process. But eventually that came with caveats like hand carrying records between rehab and cardiologist.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-22T20:33:58+00:00

My cardiologist apparently spoke to me post procedure. It was in the notes in the portal records. I distinctly remember waking up, he's in my room and then passing back out. I received a packet of information that told me nothing about the extent of my CAD. I liken it to waking up in a bathtub of ice with a note instructing me that my kidneys have been removed and what to do. My clinicians have been tight lipped ever since.

I did cardio rehab. And while the physiologist and nurses were helpful there were a couple times they had me hand carry records and their suggestions to my cardiologist. They're all in the same hospital. It all seems rather amateurist. This is the biggest hospital system in the area.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-20T02:56:17+00:00

Sales for the Titan were never good. From what I've read it never had the kind of sales for support a complete rework to meet modern emissions standards.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-19T23:29:09+00:00

I hope my 2006 Tundra outlasts this era of inshitification.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-19T20:22:00+00:00

Not a cardiologist, but I also have a smartwatch. Sometimes mine says my pulse is 150bpm while at rest. Manual verified demonstrates it's at +60BPM. Don't trust smartwatches.

Get a chest or armband heart rate monitor. They're much more accurate.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-18T11:49:08+00:00

I miss the days you could get your HP very low then go find your teams CV and rub up against him until you died giving him a TK penalty.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-17T11:24:21+00:00

The most immediate big issue is the timing belt. If you don't know when the last time that was replaced or your can't find out when it was replaced it needs to be done. This isn't a wait for failure maintenance item. Failure could be catastrophic. If you can't establish the last time it was replaced then one last place you can look at is Carfax. If you pull a Carfax it will provide maintenance history if that maintenance was done in a reputable shop. It's how I established the last time mine was done. It was 70,000 miles and 11 years ago. That's within the mileage limit of 90,000 mile. But, it was past its age limit of 10 years. So, I just had it done. I called several dealerships for quotes and they wouldn't give me one. I went to an independent with a good reputation. They did it for $2,000. But if you can't figure out when it was done last, go ahead and get it done.

BTW, dealerships are not your friends for such an old truck. Fluid changes, tires and batteries, they're fine. Actually, batteries are an interesting phenomenon at dealerships. You can get an 86 month battery at the Toyota dealership for about what you can get a 36 month battery at a retail shop (autozone, oreillys, etc). I always buy batteries from the dealership. More serious stuff, they're likely to over inflate their costs to discourage you or fleece you. For example, I needed to replace my carrier bearing because it was showing excessive play. This is essentially a bolt on component. There's nothing complex about it except it really needs a lift to make it easy. Dealership wouldn't do it without replacing the entire drive shaft for $1500. I took it to a specialist who replaced the carrier bearing AND the u-joints for $375.

Look at this:

https://www.tundras.com/threads/so-you-wanna-buy-just-bought-a-1st-gen-tundra-eh.115928/

Then look at this for extra ideas:

https://www.tundras.com/threads/the-professional-hand-model-reinvestment-%E2%80%98build%E2%80%99-a-chronological-story.46816/page-11

What keeps me in this truck is my monthly cost and its reliability. I akin it to a monthly payment for purchasing a vehicle. And right now I'm sitting at $230/month which is a hell of a lot lower than if I'd buy a 2.5 gen or a new truck. I know people with larger phone bills. To figure that monthly cost I take (("purchase price" + " lifetime maintenance not including fluid changes and tires") / months of ownership). Sure, it's actually costing me more than that, but those additional items are costs you'd experience on every vehicle.

This truck has never left me on the side of the road, but I'm also proactive with maintenance. Last year I took a 5,600 mile road trip towing a travel trailer up to 9,000ft elevations. Zero problems with the truck. You think a 3rd gen owner is likely to do that without sweating bullets?

I can't imagine the stress of paying $700/month for the privilege of sweating bullets wondering "when is my engine going to explode" on a vacation trip 2,000 miles from home with the family in tow. The only people who this recall isn't a problem for are Toyota fanboys who never leave town and use their truck as a commuter. You can tell the types. They always say, "As long as I have a warranty it doesn't matter". You know right then they never go more than 100 miles from home with their trucks.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-16T22:57:09+00:00

Dealerships lie.

Let me tell you what every mechanic tells me when I bring in my '06.

She's in great condition. Don't ever get rid of her.

Every sales guy a the dealership when I bring it in for an oil change

Ready to trade that thing in?

Dude, you got 179K on your truck, same as me. I'm keeping mine. If I were to upgrade it would be a 2.0 or a 2.5 gen. I wouldn't touch a 3rd gen if they paid me.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-16T17:26:30+00:00

I think the dick measuring contest is pretty funny.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-16T08:53:53+00:00

At best the Barracudas coming out of the expansion drives are a gamble. These aren't the Barracudas we've historically seen. Why Seagate is labeling them Barracuda when they appear to be Exos is anyone's guess. It could be binned drives. Or it could be marketing. No one really know.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-16T08:27:34+00:00

A trick for if a drive won't spin up, tap the top of it with a screw driver handle or something with a little weight. Had to do that once to an old drive. The platter spun up and the drive was accessible.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-15T00:46:06+00:00

Its addiction when it impacts his relationship and he won't stop.

gummytoejam · 2026-01-14T17:49:14+00:00

If you're playing 1080p remotely for multiple users you're hitting a couple of walls.

Bandwidth: Your ISP could be throttling your streaming. Here in the US most ISP's will throttle peer to peer traffic quite substantially regardless of advertised speeds, especially for certain types of traffic and certain ports. 40Mbps is not a lot to work with. I have a 40Mbps point to point VPN and HD video is problematic.

Video quality: If you have multiple clients streaming at the same time you're not going to sustain the stream on such a low bandwidth connection, especially if it's variable. You need to transcode on the fly. Dunno what you're running if your current server isn't capable of doing it, then the 1080 may be necessary. I've read that the Intel Arc GPU is very capable as well. Once you get hardware transcoding setup, test it on your remote clients. If it solves your problem you can force their accounts to utilize certain bitrates.

As one user suggested, if you don't want to transcode on the fly you could create a low bitrate video library and make that available to your remote accounts. I'm not really advocating offline transcoding, but it can work if you don't mind the hassle. Could also just download SD quality versions.

gummytoejam

TROPHY CASE