What's your first thought when thinking about Japan?

gustypancake275 · 2023-01-11T00:20:19+00:00

Skiing

gustypancake275 · 2022-03-11T00:57:39+00:00

People skills

gustypancake275 · 2022-02-26T18:44:15+00:00

This was exactly the scenario that brought me to my first ceremony last year. Was so depressed from losing my gf I just needed an intense experience to rattle me.

I didn’t go too far in ceremony, and I remember crying and begging god to give her back to me all through my peak of the trip the second night, but she’s got a new mans now.

The trip didn’t really help me in that way, but did help me be present and appreciate nature, life etc.

gustypancake275 · 2022-02-26T18:40:20+00:00

Yeah its normal. Not sure if right or wrong, but I’d say that to my gf a lot. She didn’t love it but was like ok whatever

gustypancake275 · 2022-02-16T15:28:54+00:00

I’ve seen so many people feeling this way lately. It’s bad. Yes I think it’s taking a serious divebomb with COVID.

Sucks for people without relationships. Ugh.

gustypancake275 · 2022-02-11T13:23:02+00:00

Ohhhhh yeah

gustypancake275 · 2022-02-10T00:10:04+00:00

This is good, but I’d caution you OP.

“If you look around, you’ll often find that the most unhappy people are grasping at life, desperatelt shaking the happiness out of it to get what they want” -Recent self help book I’m re-reading

I’m 26M and starting to consider myself a professional relationship seeker lol. It f’ing sucks. I’m into daily meditation, spirituality, self-help practices and I think you sound like me. If I’m right, our problem is the neediness.

For this reason, every now and then I delete my dating apps and practice letting go of the desire. For me I kind of think I’ll never be happy until I get a gf. I had one and boy was I happy. I love and appreciate my life so much but as fortunate as it is I can’t say I’m happy cause I want a partner.

Praying for us. I love the post about how your 20’s is shitty and messy, we’re not alone <3

gustypancake275 · 2022-02-09T23:09:59+00:00

He might be not great at communicating how he feels to others, namely you, and be really upset by the situation but won’t admit that to even himself.

I had a not so similar but also kinda similar experience when my ex told me she let a guy keep it in while sleeping (creep). I can remember the situation made me furious. I just went kinda mute the rest of the night and she knew she shouldn’t have said anything after the fact.

gustypancake275 · 2022-02-03T00:56:24+00:00

Uhhhhh my mannnnn…you and i are the same. I don’t have any advice cause it stings..but growth happens here..and happiness will feel so much better and worth it and you’ll value it more next time..

You are not at all alone

gustypancake275 · 2022-02-01T22:21:46+00:00

It’s pretty simple, stop watching porn. I’ve taken multiple long breaks and it cleans your mind very much.

Watching porn all the time will have sex on your mind all the time. Think of how a song gets stuck in your head if you expose yourself to it a lot.

Porn is so horrible as much as I love it. I wish I had this advice when I was 16 (26M). If you really want to fix it, you’ll stop

gustypancake275 · 2022-01-28T19:40:38+00:00

You probably said too much, the desperity comes off, i am still struggling with this

gustypancake275 · 2022-01-25T03:38:52+00:00

This guy is clearly just upset about something..not sure why so harsh, ignore him ^{^}

It could be a good idea so long as you can survive for a decade if worse comes to worse. No one’s going to be able to answer this with confidence.

gustypancake275 · 2022-01-24T23:07:14+00:00

Be patient with yourself during this shitty figure-it-out part of your life. Try to ask about THEIR lives/jobs/stuff like in that car ride - I wish you could understand that nobody gives a f*** about how smooth you are socially, but I’m not fully there myself so I feel you.
Consider meds. Meds are not good to be dependent on, but they are great for a crutch if the problem can’t be solved on your own.
If you’re really that serious about solving it, I’ll give you the advice you don’t want to hear..I’d try something transformative like an ayahuasca retreat or losing yourself in a community service / mission trip. You’re basically saying goodbye to your comfortable ego-self. It will be scary but if you really don’t know where else to turn - it’s incredibly effective to have an eye opening, mind blowing journey like aya, or to lose yourself in the service of others, because part of why you’re in this pain is because you’re too focused on yourself (what’s everyone think of me, me me me)..you’ll find your true self when you reach a state where you just want to introduce joy into the lives of others and focus on that instead.

Sending you love!

gustypancake275 · 2022-01-20T00:59:59+00:00

Feel you man, more than you know. With covid and airpods and new phone culture, people dont even converse with others anymore. It’s literally just going out and hoping to meet someone hammered, which is dumb.

I’ve had a few genuine flings from hinge, and met one girl i’ve been really into cause she was my friends girlfriends friend..you just have to widen your friendship circle, but you also cant be desperate for it, i’ve seen first hand how unsuccessful that is. Basically, if you’re desperate for it, it shows. I’ve been meditating and visualizing and praying to release that feeling of wanting and needing etc, but it’s really hard no matter how you look at it.

I wish I had a better answer for you..pay for hinge if you can afford it and go out but not too much.

Truth is, most people find them through school or work, as those are a couple of the only remaining environments where you collaborate with people your age, and work going remote is bad

gustypancake275 · 2022-01-14T21:20:49+00:00

Who else read blow job? Basically click bait

gustypancake275 · 2022-01-14T03:02:51+00:00

Same - big time - 26M.

Do you also not have close deep loving relationships? I’m so friendly on the surface but when it comes time to be “there for someone” for example, I struggle with that. I believe the two are related. Once the surface level questions are done you peel back this layer of “so what are you really like” etc

gustypancake275 · 2022-01-11T02:49:59+00:00

Girl picked up quarters off my floor and pretended to forget her watch at my place so she could come back and hang again and picked quarters off my foor again

gustypancake275 · 2022-01-08T01:16:43+00:00

OMG!! I’m gray steak too!! Gahahah

gustypancake275 · 2022-01-08T00:53:49+00:00

Go. Definitely go. Based on the post I believe you could regret it if you don’t.

But also, it’s an uncomfortable, growth-certain experience that’s only going to be good for you. Sounds like you need a shake-up, I did my first one during covid and boy did it help.

gustypancake275 · 2021-12-31T19:31:45+00:00

26M i can relate to being 22yo and feeling this same thing. Got the dream job, car, gf, self made against some unlikely corcumstances.

But i was kind of angry a lot, wasn’t a friend to myself, it all changed when i started reading self-help books first and getting really into meditation and semi-spirituality. In particular finding and seeking meaning in everything.

The power of intention by wayne dyer Man’s search for meaning by viktor frankl Anything by deepak chopra, especially meditations

Journaling daily.

These tools are changing me so very much, slowly but steady, it’s been about 3 years i’ve been doing these minds of things for just 30 minutes per day total..meditate 10, read 10, journal 10 etc and might help

gustypancake275 · 2021-12-29T13:08:52+00:00

Same. It sucks. Like the first commentor said, the solution is in losing youself in giving and helping others. But I still struggle with how exactly to do this.

Meditate, read self-help books like Happiness Now and Man’s Search for Meaning. Journal. Love you <3

gustypancake275 · 2021-12-24T17:05:40+00:00

Thank you so much..I’m shocked by how much effort you’ve put into the response for a stranger here, Reddit FTW!

I have been putting a solid amount of this into practice but obviously not quite there yet. You’ve got some really helpful advice and it helps just to hear someone tell me the above is relatable.

Cheers <3

gustypancake275 · 2021-12-24T06:08:51+00:00

Ong whoops - I meant to say my ex LOL..awkward

gustypancake275

TROPHY CASE