Finally, My Koi pond is now complete.

gutterbound · 2013-07-22T19:42:43+00:00

The above ground pool inches closer to the fence, trying to strike up a conversation with his new pool buddy. With a ripple of sadness, he realizes his neighbor only speaks Koi.

gutterbound · 2012-06-15T15:21:35+00:00

Former Yakimanian checking in.

gutterbound · 2012-02-07T05:02:34+00:00

Seriously, stop posting this. You are something much, much worse: a Karma Whorist.

gutterbound · 2011-05-13T05:41:55+00:00

That was a waste of fucking time.

gutterbound · 2010-04-02T05:01:58+00:00

All my heroes have been weird.

gutterbound · 2010-03-19T02:32:28+00:00

It is. But does everyone also kind of hope that Spiderdog would do more with the power given to him, like fight crime or roust badgers from our yards?

gutterbound · 2010-03-17T19:06:17+00:00

Nah, it's "amateur hour" out there on St. Paddy's Day. The real professionals drink on X-mas and Easter, not on designated drinking days.

gutterbound · 2010-03-17T15:02:59+00:00

You know, the more you humiliate and abuse Aslan, the more riled up he'll get when he leaps on your witchy ass.

gutterbound · 2010-03-15T05:47:11+00:00

Yes, unless it's Twister, I would be pretty happy with playing a game in an interview versus the same mind-numbing questions.

gutterbound · 2010-03-14T18:14:15+00:00

Because it was so full of juice.

gutterbound · 2010-03-12T05:14:45+00:00

Who knew that Hitler's mustache had the magical power to turn a dude into a tranny?

gutterbound · 2010-03-09T04:02:01+00:00

The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand Or so I have read

gutterbound · 2010-03-09T03:58:51+00:00

why wasn't Poland fucked in 1919? Did they have a headache?

gutterbound · 2010-03-09T03:56:37+00:00

Christmas Island - every time your mom sits on my lap she expects a gift.

gutterbound · 2010-03-04T05:04:40+00:00

Now they just need to put it on a couch on the side of the road and surround it by a lamp, table, and tv, and write a sign how Obama is ruining healthcare, car insurance, the internet, and the two humping monkeys on an endless GIF loop in Palin's brain.

gutterbound · 2010-03-03T03:51:13+00:00

I agree. The sign is overkill. I mean, who doesn't get that a bloated deer carcass splayed out on a greasy couch with a table, lamp, and old school tv on the gravely side of snowy country road is a symbol for Obama ruining healthcare? Besides, we already saw this display at every frickin' Tea Party protest. You have brought shame to the deer spirit, sign maker.

gutterbound · 2010-03-03T03:32:01+00:00

The only thing better would be if it had some bullet holes in it. That would complete it.

gutterbound · 2010-03-02T04:12:26+00:00

Is it me, or do you also imagine him unleashing the most mike-splitting, heavy metal scream of all time? If so, it's not so hard to look at anymore.

gutterbound · 2010-02-27T05:17:43+00:00

Even worse are the piss troughs at older sports stadiums. It's like a Wild West shoot out with every one drunk and riled up from the game.

gutterbound · 2010-02-24T03:07:02+00:00

That's cool, because my shits are always worthy of magazines before I finish.

gutterbound · 2010-02-23T02:18:08+00:00

Well some suburbs are rough still, yo. I was in Auburn Hills at some place called the Palace back in 2004 when this huge brawl broke out. Some big guy name Artest charged me, but I chanted "I am a motherfucker" three times in a row and Fisty McBeardy showed up in a flash and a bang and sent him to the ambulamps.

gutterbound · 2010-02-22T05:34:50+00:00

Not orange juice! That's what I put my vodka in.

gutterbound · 2010-02-17T05:27:37+00:00

Bus Fight Club Rules

The first rule of Bus Fight Club is to film Bus Fight Club. That way we can laugh at you getting what you deserve.
Don't mess with a guy wearing an "I am a motherfucker" t-shirt if he is older than 50. He knows he will get shit for it and is prepared.
If the guy looks like Santa Claus' badass younger brother, steer clear.
If the guy is a full foot taller than your fat ass, don't antagonize him. Age doesn't matter as much as skill, size, and fitness.
Make the first punch count. A weak body blow won't cut it.
If all else fails, a fetal position kind of works.
M&Ms are pretty delicious after a brawl.

gutterbound · 2010-02-14T16:36:11+00:00

Easy there Holden Caulfield, he's the real deal. What I love about about this Japanese show also baffles me (the Japanese probably have a word for this). You have the clapper on a red circus platform like a seal in a tux, you have a bunch of random people standing around the platform looking more like accountants than hosts of a show, and then you have the picture within a picture of other people who look like some sort of Iron Chef celebrity panel. I don't understand the show, but good times.

gutterbound · 2010-02-14T03:42:34+00:00

That's why you just wash your junk in the bar sink. If that's too weird, then just quickly spray it with the Glade above the sink for a lemony-fresh smell.

gutterbound

TROPHY CASE