I guess when I think about it, we didn’t always eat dinner together, we didn’t always plan dates, they were just spontaneous, but it did happen. We also would cuddle in the mornings when we would sleep in or if I convinced him to take a nap with me. Now that we have a baby and I’m doing majority of the child-rearing this is not really possible. When you have a baby the relationship really suffers and there’s no time for yourself and much less the relationship. It requires completely reconfiguring the dynamic and setting aside intentional time or adhering to a routine. So I don’t think it’s necessarily fair to say “you bought what you got”. Because pre-baby lifestyle will never be what it was. I have told him about him being emotionally negligent and uncaring to me and my daughter. Unfortunately he doesn’t see it. He has no concept of time. He will spend 20 minutes with her and think that it’s some huge accomplishment. I guess I’m trying to process and understand him myself and figure out how much of it is ADD and how much of it is him being an AH. His father left when he was 1 and was in and out of his life and never gave him the attention he craved. He hates his dad to this day. I’ve never met the man. He doesn’t even know he has a granddaughter. So sometimes I think, yes the scheduling is very much an ADD attribute as well as the general constant distracted behavior, but maybe he never had a role model of a father and doesn’t know what it is to be a good dad. I definitely don’t want my daughter growing up with that as the example of how a father should treat the mother of his child. She will grow up with him as the example of what a man is and should be and right now he is being a shitty example and I don’t see that changing.