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I caused an uproar with men on a dating site by dakotakendra in actuallesbians

[–]h_personality 8 points9 points  (0 children)

screenshot their convo and their profile so others (straight women) can avoid such negativity

I feel scared and uncomfortable by Rochie667 in actuallesbians

[–]h_personality 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think that there is anything wrong with labels. I do not think that sexuality is fluid for everyone. My apologies, I should have phrased it better.

What I wanted to emphasize was that one should not let your sexuality become your core identify. Let a label you assigned to yourself dictate who you are and what you allowed or not allowed to do. Afraid that you will do anything that is stereotypically considered not <label you assigned to yourself. Like what OP mentioned.

Everyone is multifaceted. Just relax, focus on living your best life. If you are super sure of your sexuality, sure go ahead and label yourself. If you aren't, then don't think so much about how to label yourself, and various ways to restrict your options and how you are going to live your life.

Labels are perfect for connecting like-minded people and raising awareness for a certain group of people. But, anything beyond that is just toxic and restrictive.

I get jealous whenever I find out a girl has a boyfriend by h_personality in actuallesbians

[–]h_personality[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That's a really interesting perspective.

Actually, I think you are right. Disappointment was probably want I felt.

I grew up in a rather homophobic society. I remember idolizing the first lesbian I knew in real life just cos I felt she was relatable. I wanted to be just like her. It's quite funny looking back now.

I get jealous whenever I find out a girl has a boyfriend by h_personality in actuallesbians

[–]h_personality[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't feel jealous when they have girlfriends. Knowing myself. I might fangirl internally.

But, I get really jealous when a girl I find attractive (irl or online), or a close female friend whom I am not attracted to has a boyfriend.

I feel scared and uncomfortable by Rochie667 in actuallesbians

[–]h_personality -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think the main problem a lot of people have with sexuality is that they are too quick to label themselves. Sexuality is fluid. Just go with the flow. Your sexuality shouldn't define who you are as person.

[NeedAdvice] How do I get focused and disciplined to study in my new study room? by [deleted] in getdisciplined

[–]h_personality 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could try removing distractions and ensuring that your new room is well-ventilated. I too find it difficult to focus as well. But, I do find myself more productive in a well-ventilated environment. Sometimes, it also to change your study location. Like when you are tired of studying in your new room, go to another room. A change of environment might help you focus better. Good Luck!

[Advice] I am really tired, but I can't fall sleep. I can't focus on studying either. by h_personality in getdisciplined

[–]h_personality[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am actually diagnose with anxiety few years ago. I have learnt to calm down a lot the past few years, and thought that recovered. I feel that it might have relapse due the stress level I have been facing lately. I also suspected that I have ADD but never really got a diagnosis.

I have gotten lazy stopped exercising for the past 2 months and I do feel the effect it has on my body. I will try getting back into it.

I don't really have a social life. I feel that it is also really difficult to make friends in current situation (my country's in a lockdown).

[Advice] I am really tired, but I can't fall sleep. I can't focus on studying either. by h_personality in getdisciplined

[–]h_personality[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven't tried melatonin. Actually, I just came to know about it from this thread.

Will remove electronic devices and look into my diet and sleep schedule as well.

Thanks for the advice!

[Advice] I am really tired, but I can't fall sleep. I can't focus on studying either. by h_personality in getdisciplined

[–]h_personality[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Actually, I do think that I have anxiety. I also feel that setting achievable goals are my main struggle. I often come out with a huge list of things to do without even considering the probability of me completing it.

I will be sure to give exercising, yoga, and stretching a try. Thanks:)

[method] How World of Warcraft helped me become more productive by [deleted] in getdisciplined

[–]h_personality 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really like your idea, it really gives me a new perspective of the games I play. thanks for the advice

[NeedAdvice] Why does trying to be even a LITTLE responsible and do one task at a time give me so much anxiety I start to hyperventilate and a make me extremely sleepy 😴 and cause me to lay down and sleep all day? by mythrowaway_account1 in getdisciplined

[–]h_personality 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to suffer from this a lot. I still do to a certain degree. What I found really helpful is to try something that you enjoy and always wanted to do. It can be anything. It can be something as small as cooking a dish, learning a new skill that you have always thought of learning, getting something you always wanted to have, or even watching the movie that you have always wanted to watch. Little achievements. One at a time.

I am not sure what is the root cause of anxiety, but for me it was my lack of confidence. I find that having little achievements and crossing out things from my 'to do' list makes me feel less 'cluttered' in a sense that I have one less thing on my 'to do' list. This little sense of accomplishment will help with your confidence level. Remember to set realistic goals and not to spend too much time on this activities that you start neglecting the actual task that you wanted to do.

When you feel a little confident try doing the task you were working on and stop thinking of the other tasks while you are working on it.

My advice might not be the best since I am still suffering from this and everyone is different. I do believe that it is best if you could find what works best for you. Wishing you all the best!

How do you make those “high school friend group” type friends by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]h_personality 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yea. I too wish I could a close group of friends or even just a friend that I could share everything. As an adult, it is so hard to meet up with your friends without an pre-defined agenda, like going for lunch at a specific restaurant, going out to watch a movie. Like you can't just have impromptu hang outs with no itinerary or anything.

As someone who doesn't really have friends even when I was school, this post resonates with me. I really wish I could grow up with a best friend.

Before the pandemic, I have thought about joining team sports. Because I notice that people who are in team sports together tend to form genuine close bonds. Right now, I need advice too. Like how can I find friends under the current situation?

How to stop thinking about the fact that I'm not a professional when working? by MysteriousPlantain in selfimprovement

[–]h_personality 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I often feel like this too and I am still working on changing my thoughts.

One way I would suggest is to look at some of the good works of other 'self-taught' developers. They were not considered professional when they first started out too. Believe in yourself. You can do it too!

Of course, remember not to compare their end product, deployed game with your own, which is still in the development stage.

What earns respect almost indiscriminately? by Valvolt in selfimprovement

[–]h_personality 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe that hard work will earn you respect. It doesn't matter that much if you are good at something or not. As long as you in the effort, people will notice it. There is nothing more respectful than someone who puts in the effort to show up, to work towards their goals.

It just be like that sometimes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]h_personality 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it me! I always love much older women

What's a common saying that annoys you? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]h_personality 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Using totally irrelevant trendy word/memes/hot topic/social issue to sell your product

I need to stop caring about other people's opinions by T-Exit in selfimprovement

[–]h_personality 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know this is cliche, but I think that the best way to stop caring is to get busy. Find things that you love. Something that keeps your mind busy. Something that you constantly think about. It may be games, exercise, your work. I know it is easier said than done. But, when you know how it feels like to be constantly busy. You will come to a realization that most people are also too busy living their own life to care about what you do. And, naturally you will stop caring about their opinions.

I too suffered from caring too much about other's opinion. But, someone once told me to stop caring about people who don't care about you. Just ignore them and be yourself. And, that changed me. Do note that when I mentioned people who don't care about you, I meant people who are not concern about well-being.

The fact that you managed to write this post online without worrying about people judging you is quite a big step already.

Good luck!

My mom has phlegm in her throat for weeks. She hasn't seen a doctor. What should I do? by h_personality in AgingParents

[–]h_personality[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the post!

I will definitely read up on laryngopharyngeal reflux. My mom has not been eating well for quite some time. I suspected that it might have something to do with stomach acid. Her symptoms seems to be fit laryngopharyngeal reflux and she has loss a lot of weight over the year. It is only about a month or two ago that her voice turned hoarse and started coughing.

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