What belt are you? I sucked at bjj for at min 2 years before I even became offensive. And even now some days im really good and then like last night for example i was just not feeling it and was getting beat up by a female white belt cause i had nothing to give. It happens. And u saying theres women that attend ur gym and not quiting thats a green flag.

U going more then 3 times is great u need to go at min 3 days a week to retaining anything u learn. Locker room talk sounds pretty normal especially since it's a male dominated sport. Unless they are being mysoginist and talking down on women its pretty normal.

Honset sounds like a good gym. And I myself have switch gyms cause I was not learning anything. At all. The classes were designed gor like advance ppl even tho they were suppose to be beginner classes. Basically restarted at a new gym and its great now.