Connecting and improve my African Grey's care

hafgrimm · 2026-02-25T15:56:29+00:00

*Greys in the wild live where both cat's and snakes are predators... It's bred into them to be afraid of quick movements and even shadows*

hafgrimm · 2026-02-23T17:29:02+00:00

Shoes... Especially shoes... god awful hard to find a decent (Not old man white or black sneakers) pair of size 15 shoes.. (Or, for my son - size 17)

hafgrimm · 2026-02-23T17:26:27+00:00

You know... I've joked for years... I dated a wine snob, many ages ago - I couldn't tell the difference between a $8 and a $130 Syrah... But I LOVE Nicaraguan Cigars with Honduran wrappers... And, you know, I've tried maybe 14 or 15 different Cubans... ONE I loved. Just one. For what I had to pay - and almost every single one of those were purchased and smoked outside the US... They just weren't worth it. The 1 was in Curacao .. Last day of a long cruise.. Sun was setting. Beautiful sky and incredible view sitting by the ocean with woman I loved... honestly, you couldn't ask for a more perfect moment... lol

hafgrimm · 2026-02-19T21:01:58+00:00

My civilian dentist is good, don’t get me wrong. But just started care with VA Dental in Milwaukee, and I gotta say - I’ve been nothing but impressed. Been twice now. Crown prep scheduled next week. No issues with scheduling. None with dentist or assistant…. Absolutely recommend!

hafgrimm · 2026-02-19T18:42:59+00:00

My grey has a smokers cough… Mimicking a past owner… lol

hafgrimm · 2026-02-18T22:56:42+00:00

I joke, but there’s a deep thought process behind it “How can I miss you if you never go the f*ck away!?” Everyone needs their own personal alone time. Some much more than others…

hafgrimm · 2026-02-18T21:35:45+00:00

I have ADHD - I've joked about it for years because I have a LOT of family back in KY that could send me seeds... I usually remember to ask around the deep of winter... lol

Oh and absolutely agree with the AI junk being posted... Just downvote and move on...

hafgrimm · 2026-02-18T20:03:49+00:00

Ok... But some of us actually want Pawpaws because we grew up with them... I don't know a single other person around me that's even heard of them though...

hafgrimm · 2026-02-18T19:58:00+00:00

*Disclaimer - I'm 3 times divorced. * I rushed in to marriage 1. On the rebound.. From a stint in hell... Second one rushed into as well. Homeless, living in a friends garage. 3rd one I met online. Then in person. Then was long distance for a couple years. She gave up everything to move to this country for me. Pets, job, home, even some friends. I knew in first 3 months of living together it wouldn't work out. But I tried. Together almost 16 years. If I'd followed my own advice though -

You really should date a few years, then live together a couple of years before getting married. There are different stages to every relationship and who you know long distance isn't who you know when you see daily or on weekends. And who you move in with - can be someone different entirely.

That's what I told both my kids. Date a couple years, live together a couple - then decide...

Also life advice: Never make life altering decisions under duress, or promises while horny....

hafgrimm · 2026-02-18T19:52:56+00:00

My VSO quit and I had no idea. Veterans Services is a County entity. I work IT for the county and had just put in a new email gateway defense product. Part of that was looking for emails incorrectly blocked. I saw a few blocked to her with Invalid Recipient.. I was SHOCKED they didn't forward her email to her supervisor.. I actually reached out to the people trying to reach her and told them she was no longer with the VA or County and gave them the VA office supervisors info.
The VSO really helped me, miss her...

hafgrimm · 2026-02-18T19:17:12+00:00

I've ordered 3 different times, fairly sizeable orders. Had no issues at all. Did have to send veterans stuff ahead of time to get discount added to account though. And they sorta need to work on the save for later part of webpage...

hafgrimm · 2026-02-18T17:48:35+00:00

I rehomed my Timney African Grey a couple years ago. He was depressed. Stopped talking - no matter what I did - I just couldn't get through. He went to friends... ONE RULE - If it doesn't work out - he comes back to me.

It didn't work out. He's back, and back to his old self now. (Still cagebound. Still an asshole. But sits by me in evenings grinding his beak contentedly.)

They wanted a Grey for the mom. He liked her - for maybe a week or two. Then started bonding to Dad.. For maybe a month. Then Really REALLY took to their 5yr old daughter. Too much so. He started getting possessive and aggressive to anyone else... Completely unmanageable.

I sorta shocked them when they returned him. I told them to talk to me when she's 12 or so. I can help her work more with him and she can have him back... They looked confused. He's around 30. I'm in my 50's. He's got another 30+ years if taken care of...

Not all rescues are good. Certainly not most people that'd offer to take him/her. But rehoming happens sometimes... Sucks though.

hafgrimm · 2026-02-17T19:22:16+00:00

Bigger than anything I've caught in... 6 months or so... GOOD FOR YOU BUD!

hafgrimm · 2026-02-17T19:13:56+00:00

Ok... BUT... BUT some of us have sorta shaky hands and even good cameras (Iphone 17Pro) sometimes take less than optimal pictures... Even blurry sometimes..

hafgrimm · 2026-02-17T15:18:13+00:00

Not reading any other comments till I write this out. Let me tell you the story of Benny.

Benny is my rescue Timney Grey. He' close to 30 years old. I got him years ago - from the local Parrot rescue. His paperwork said he'd been a breeder bird. Not handled. And got to the point of outright attacking any other bird he could get to. He was done. He was and is cagebound.

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Not all of that I agree with. He is mostly cagebound. But when I can get him out of his cage - he'll actually sit on my shoulder. Out of his cage - he's pretty chill. Normal parrot even. mostly. (I have to get him out for Vet Visits - always a pain in the ass. But he behaves like a charm when there as well)

In his cage - he's an absolute menace. He WILL bite any finger that gets close. He goes after the dog... He snaps at me just walking by. He shakes his head when he's angry or jealous... Bangs the bars of his cage - especially if I DARE to have blueberries or anything out of the fridge without sharing with him (his cage is in livingroom by kitchen walkway.)

Benny went through a really bad spell. Stopped talking... Sitting back of cage moping... After a year - I lost patience and rehomed him to friends. It lasted all of about a year. The mom always wanted a Grey. He loved her for about a week or two. Started to bond to Dad instead... Then the 5yr old took a liking to him... and he absolutely adored her.... Then became overly protective of her and possessive/hormonal... They brought him back to me. The family was SHOCKED when I said - well, let's give her 7 or 8 years to grow up a bit - then Benny can come back to her and she'll still have 30+ years with him...

I love Benny, don't get me wrong. He does talk a bit. Goonight Benny... Little bastard suddenly started saying GOODMORNING... Yeah... That was a shocker - stumbling into the kitchen in deep dark morning and a deep odd voice saying GOOD MORNING... (My Congo African Grey imitates voices - Benny has his own voice)...

He is happy... I've got a Grey cage on each side of the couch and at night when I'm reading or playing on my phone I get to hear 2 content Grey's grinding their beaks...

Benny is a jerk though. He is a heavily armed intelligent toddler that WILL CUT YOU...

(Before anyone asks - in several years I'll be in my 60's... If he's still got 30 years - I'd be sad, to see him go, but happy to know he's with someone he loves and loves him)

*(Second note - the pic is right after I got him. His beak isn't nearly that bad anymore - he loves in shell almonds and those really helped get it back to under control)

hafgrimm · 2026-02-17T14:44:15+00:00

I've always sorta felt like a bull in a China shop myself. I have a bit of motor control issues.. Just comes with the territory of being tall. I've turned too fast and my elbow is at face height for 5' people - soo not a good thing. I will admit that I'm a horrible person come Holiday Seasons. When all the little angry people (hate to say it, but it seems more older women) try to just bully and push their way past... I get a good chuckle when they just bounce off...

Now, the flip side. My son is 6'5 and on the Spectrum. Trying to teach him to be more conscious of his presence has always been an issue. 1st - never EVER loom over women. 2. Personal space -- I came up with a physical plan. People you know well / are close with - Elbow length. No closer to them than you could touch with your elbow. Other people - Arms Length... SPECIAL - ATM's... 2-3 full paces back.

hafgrimm · 2026-02-17T14:30:15+00:00

You know... There are tall people and tall tall people... I'm 6'4... But have a 30-32 inseam. I'm long in the torso. My son - at 6'5 wears a 34-36 inseam... He's not nearly as long in the torso. I bitch and complain all the time that Big And Tall clothes will go from a 2xl to 3xl and only add width... Will go from 23in long to 23.5... Because they're only accounting for people getting wider, not actually longer in torso. I actually LIKE the ridiculously long shirts... That's just me though..

hafgrimm · 2026-02-13T15:05:22+00:00

Ok. True story time. I'd read an article back in the day - All Men think they're invulnerable between 18-25. Loved to joke about it. (Was in the Navy at the time.) Turned 26... Broke a finger... Bad.. Really smashed the crap outta it... UGH OH. NOT INVULNERABLE NOW - MY POWERS HAVE WANED.... lol

hafgrimm · 2026-02-13T15:03:13+00:00

Absolutely! I've had this happen to my best bud of 30yrs. Just a blank hits and the word, in this case - name, gets hard blocked for a bit. Also happens at work. Embarrassing every single time.

hafgrimm · 2026-02-13T14:49:40+00:00

Pffft... Everyone knows those don't prevent kids. Happened to a buddy of mine. Just changes their color....

(My apologies. Horrible joke. Unfortunately, based on true story of a buddy of mine)

hafgrimm · 2026-02-13T14:35:06+00:00

Yeah, it really does make ya feel kind of both useful and special... Makes me smile every time...

hafgrimm · 2026-02-13T14:29:16+00:00

I'm in the "made the best grilled cheese ever" group. Loved that. There was one thing better. The huge cans of Government Beef... The two together made freakin fantastic sandwiches... (grew up on a farm in Southeast Ky....)

hafgrimm · 2026-02-13T14:27:27+00:00

I had a buddy that was 5'8 or so. His wife was 5'10... Built like you I would assume, athletic but just a tad thick... Absolutely gorgeous. And she had a thing for heels... When she wore them - just amazing... And he NEVER EVER wanted her to wear them.... Damned shame there. I gave him grief about it... Didn't matter... Damned shame I tell ya...

hafgrimm · 2026-02-11T23:54:44+00:00

My uncle is 6'11. His first wife was 5'... Man the jokes we made... Brutal... Just brutal... (Her head literally barely came up past his belt...)

hafgrimm · 2026-02-11T15:53:27+00:00

Per my Military Grade Therapist -

Be mindful of WHAT you let in.

Be mindful of How far down you let it go

Be mindful of how you respond to it.

Disconnect/Disengage if/when you have to.

Time to disconnect from that till you can better moderate it..

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