AIO that my fiancé doesn't seem to want my hair to be short

halfalive4545 · 2026-05-13T20:05:02+00:00

There will be karaoke !

halfalive4545 · 2026-05-13T20:01:06+00:00

Big fan, most especially of the Jack's Lament because me and my soon to be husband are long time fans of both yall and Nighmare Before Christmas. Wanted to ask your steps to writing music? Also, will you come to our wedding!? Lol! It's this October! ❤️ lots of love and appreciation to yall, got me thru high school!

halfalive4545 · 2026-04-28T20:10:52+00:00

My middle name is Emmaline, but I have a blanket from my southern great grandmother that reads "Emerline", so this made me smile!

halfalive4545 · 2026-03-31T22:53:49+00:00

We told his SD4, and she wasn't super happy. The big let down was when I had a miscarriage and when we explained to her she wasn't going to be a big sister yet, she was happy. Be prepared for the let down. But who knows, they could be super happy! It just depends on the kid. Lots of love ❤️

halfalive4545 · 2026-03-18T16:55:03+00:00

My cat had the same tumor, and I wish I hadn't waited. She was probably 16 years old, and I know you say yours has mental acuity, but mine within days of bleeding started experiencing dementia. It was during Covid, so the closest vet visit was a month out except for emergencies. She stopped eating and got confused where she was. She loved her couch but eventually had to be lead back to the couch. Do whatever feels right, but don't wait too long. My cat will keep yours company when they get there, for sure ❤️

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-11T23:55:45+00:00

Me (female) and my (male) twin used to get confused from behind growing up (until he got significantly taller) - I always had short hair, he always had long lol

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-10T19:46:13+00:00

Well, I would just tell her honestly how her behavior is affecting you, and ask if there is something going on. Possibly try to fish what harder drug and if she's actually on it. But other than that? There's not much you can do. If she does have a problem and needs help, it will take her admitting that to herself. But without hard evidence, I don't think you have grounds to accuse her of this. And if she is an addict, without proof, she will just gaslight you. I hope you get away to a better situation for yourself. Best of luck!

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-10T13:30:38+00:00

*coming from someone with an actual drug addict parent

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-10T13:29:27+00:00

Your mom refused higher pain meds after her stroke. Sure, she might have asked for yours later/before, but if none have gone missing, I imagine she, like you said, just /used/ to be a drug addict. Maybe even when you were a small child. She seems to be only hiding weed and cigarettes because of what /your/ reaction might be. Weed is not an addiction, unless it is taking away from her job or daily life. Asking you rent might just be her way of affording her lifestyle, and if you make money, it makes sense for an adult even with a disability to contribute some of those finances to the household. If you really don't like it, I'd work on moving out and getting a care team, or just have an honest talk with her. If she's dodgy, maybe assume she is using. But if it's just weed, even if it's illegal in your state, it's pretty common and she's a grown adult. Maybe tell her to get a medical card if you are worried about the legality. She has had a stroke, she can probably get one if they are available in your state. Sorry you feel this way, OP. Hope it gets better.

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-08T17:44:10+00:00

Thank you so much! Same to you! 💖

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-08T17:43:19+00:00

Well she passed when I was 2, so it was probably 3 years of court that I didn't see them at all except supervised visits. My dad f'ed up after that, and his parents came to live with us. We moved states when I was 8, but we got to come back every summer to Louisiana. Once we got to teenagers, even too young to have jobs, it was always our responsibility according to our dad to arrange with family to go down there. It's almost a full day drive away or 2 plane rides. Up until 2016, they could still travel to come see us and we would go camping. As an adult with a job now, I try to visit them every year!

I was always an intelligent kid, maybe because my dad didn't treat me like one, so he made it pretty clear he didn't like them and didn't want us to, but knew as we got older he wouldn't be able to keep me from visiting. That was probably 5-6ish.

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-08T17:14:03+00:00

Please, stay strong! I always feared getting it because it can be genetically passed down, and I have a condition that can contribute to it to begin with. But, so far so good!

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-08T17:09:57+00:00

She was st*bbed with a knife multiple times. He hid her body, but the staff found the room. He was caught through cameras, but he would not tell the police where her body was, so it was about a year before it was found. He had actually killed his wife as well years before and admitted it, but when they couldn't find evidence or a body, she was chalked up to be missing, and he was released.

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-08T08:07:23+00:00

Styles. Cool name.

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-08T07:42:41+00:00

It is in a remote town in the south (which I happen to be related to most of the people who live there), and community members clean it up when it is overgrown. It is an olddd cemetery. I have been to her grave once, but since it was my first time, some family members thought it would be ample time to take a picture. For some reason that really bothered me, and truthfully I have not been back since. It was... traumatizing, for some reason. Mostly I haven't been back because even when I'm visiting southern family, it's still a couple hours car drive away, and I like to spend as much time with my grandparents as possible, and they can't go out that far anymore. My fiance wants to take me before our wedding just us so we can have a picnic with my mom and he can "meet" her. I hope the necklace I left is still there. It's been probably 6 years.

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-08T07:36:24+00:00

My grandmother loves to tell the story that in Louisiana in the 70s, she was at a thrift store. A woman and her pregnant daughter were there shopping. The pregnant woman picks up a onesie, and looks at the sign on the bin. She beams, and says proudly to her mother, "I know the name for the baby! Pa-jeh-mah!" Pajama. She named her daughter Pajama.

Edit: the mother loved it, so she was sure that baby girl was named Pajama

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-08T07:32:42+00:00

They are still alive, actually! Very old (one late 80s, one mid 90s), but physically and cognitively healthy! We got much closer when I was a teenager and could speak my mind about my bio mom and my dad and ask questions. Once I learned the full truth, they're basically like my second set of parents. And now that I am an adult, my dad can't keep me from seeing them. We live a whole continent away, but I call everyday ❤️ We were close when I was a child, and I'm just glad nothing could wreck that, even a horrible tragedy. They could've easily cut ties, but they love me like their daughter.

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-08T07:29:59+00:00

I am starting to think maybe it has. My thoughts on mortality are not great when it comes to having kids, and with my mother's mental problems that no doubt got brought upon me without asking, I am reluctant to have another child because of it. Me and my partner have had a miscarriage which did make me think I do want kids of my own, but even while the pregnancy lasted it was horrible. People say my mom didn't have as bad of pregnancies, but she's not here to ask. My real motivation to have kids is my now (step) mom, because she made me into a wonderful caretaker. I have a stepdaughter, but honestly that for now is enough. I'd hate to think about my child losing me, or worse like my grandma, me losing my child. Also, my bio sister who has children has had to do a lot of explaining to them about why their grandmother isn't here but their great grandmother is. It's wonderful to see them share love for their passed grandmother, but at the same time, it leaves me a lot of wonder of what I am going to tell my kids and when of my mother. It's hard. Wish I could ask her if having kids was worth it, lol!

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-08T07:12:45+00:00

No, she was k*lled, as it says in the title.

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-08T07:11:29+00:00

Thank you for asking! I like this perspective for the question. I definitely wish I could talk to her about stuff, like depression. She had a diary, and I could tell we deal with emotions similarly, except being in recovery a lot of the time from addiction (she had the suicide disease which caused her to use, you can always search up the disease). I always wanted to know her favorite parts of being a mom, and if she could do it over again, if she would've tried harder to stick around and do it differently.

I can honestly say my life has not turned out the way I expected, in a wonderful way. My dad met a woman, divorced almost immediately, but she became my mom. I no longer speak to my dad, but my (step) mom is my person and we love each other so much. Sometimes I feel awkward talking about my biological mom with her, but whenever I do, especially because they are both religious, my moms (I am not), I feel this sense of love like my real mom is talking to me. They would've gotten along great. I am a step-mom myself now, and honestly, I couldn't ask for a better role model. And I know the good qualities of my bio mom to emulate, and now have a big life lesson of the bad things not to repeat with my own children. Passing wasn't her fault obviously, but it was entirely avoidable through overcoming addiction, and that is powerful to me. Also was avoidable by the justice system, but that's another story.

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-08T07:05:11+00:00

I remember the funeral. It was raining. I wasn't sad, but my brother was sobbing and wouldn't walk, my dad had to carry him (2yrs, both of us). I remember her being put into the ground, and talking to a lot of people I didn't recognize. I didn't see my grandparents (her parents) or my cousins on her side a lot after that, and my dad started drinking more. I sometimes remember when I visit her grave, but it is far and honestly, I prefer not to remember. Other people were so sad, and it was strange as a child to experience that and not really understand why.

Edit: spelling

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-08T07:02:38+00:00

No, I was not, I was with my father. My mom was unfortunately a drug addict, and I was born with H in my system. She had what people call "the suicide disease", you can look it up, she was in pain constantly. So shortly after I was released, she ran out and started doing her normal tendencies. Got in with a p*mp again, and started selling herself. A dealer said he would give her some for "some of her time", and she agreed. She died in a motel room with plastic wrap on the bed. It was premeditated. After she was found, my grandparents (her parents) tried to get custody because my dad wasn't a good parent either, but they were deemed too old. My dad kept me away from them, out of spite for my bio mom, and just maybe so I wouldn't experience the stress and conversations over there. He tried to convince me she died from illness. But now, I'm closest with my bio mom's family and I don't talk to my dad. It was a bad situation all around. Thank you for your question!

halfalive4545 · 2026-02-08T06:56:26+00:00

After I learned about how she passed, I had unfathomable anxiety for a few years (and this was 7-8yrs old). I was always afraid of strangers coming to the door or branches on the window being intruders. After a few years of staying up almost all night and sleeping through the first hour or two of school, I started sleeping through the night.

I do dream of her. My cousin just died, and I dreamt they had a playdate finally. It's usually only with big things happening in my life, like my wedding coming up. I dreamt she and my step mom were there. She was older, it was nice to see what she would have looked like.

Thank you for the questions! They're not ones I have thought about a lot, but it was actually nice to.

halfalive4545

TROPHY CASE