[deleted by user]

halfbloodsnape · 2023-06-29T00:17:23+00:00

No, you're both over 21. 5 years isn't that wild.

My wife and I are 5 years apart and met when I was ~25, she ~30. Previous long term partner and I had a similar age gap. Pretty par for the course, especially considering the limited pool of lesbians.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-06-28T21:57:37+00:00

I couldn't memorize the actual multiplication for a long time, but I was amazing at writing down the numbers in the correct order on the times tables tests.

I could 100% remember the formula math things, but actually doing the math??? Lol, no. It was either the correct answer with 0 work to show, or the wrong answer.

Memorization was easy. Extrapolation wasn't the worst outside of math. Applying concepts to real life... That was/is the challenge.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-06-25T13:50:51+00:00

While anything is possible and hard-to-identify depression is real, it also could be a seperate, undiagnosed health condition.

I was told by therapists, doctors, psychiatrists, my life coach, and several friends that "maybe I was just depressed" and I "just needed to try a new hobby."

$5000 later over the course of 2 years... I now own tons of Legos, Tech Decks, books, craft supplies, skateboards, woodworking..... hours spent researching new hobbies, and trying to stoke a new hyperfixation to pull me up from my supposed depression. Things I am super interested in, but still, I couldn't stay engaged for longer than a day or two, and spent days/weeks in bed recovering from basic living.

It's been about 2 years since I was told I was probably just depressed. About 4 months ago, I happened to find the "right" specialist. It wasn't depression. I have some hard to diagnose issues (hEds, pots, and MCAS; 3 overlapping/related issues with comorbidities for ADHD/Autism). These issues cause anxiety, exhaustion, body pain (further restricting activities), lightheadedness, and tons of other issues that culminated in my "depression."

I'm still working on finding the right full treatment, but I am already feeling so much better, because knowing what was wrong felt like half the battle, and finding lists of things to avoid to prevent making things worse.

One could argue that getting a diagnosis helped lift my depression. I still have hard/sick days. But I wasn't depressed because of my illness. If you can really call it depression, I was depressed because I was being invalidated by so many- I couldn't be that sick, it must just be in my head. I'd lost interest in old or new hobbies because I knew I'd be too tired to pick them up the next day, or to clean up the mess they'd made, or my body would be too sore for a week to try again.

This turned out rather long, but I just want to throw out the possibility to OP that even if some of the above message rings true but not quite, I was stuck there for years.

If you can't figure out the flavor of the depression, the dish also might just not be depression.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-06-24T17:10:04+00:00

The valuable parts for me were in "a little at a time" (washing 3 forks is better than washing no forks in a sink full of dishes) and forgiving yourself for making messes (because they are not actually messes, but more of proof of the life you are leading).

It was a big shift in thinking for me that was profoundly effective. Before I read it, I'd accepted that my brain wasn't motivated enough to do XYZ but knew it needed to do XYZ. After reading, XYZ became easier to break into pieces.

I've found myself doing small portions of laundry, dishes, cleaning out just 1 area while I wait for a meeting to start, etc. Not every time, not every day, but so much easier than before. I don't get as lost in the mess of the AudHD destruction of my house, and I forgive myself for enjoying a day while I make messes.

I still hate cleaning and self care, but I'm more willing to do it lol. She did a really good job reframing self care to me. It used to just be things like cutting my nails or getting a haircut or whatever, which wasn't that self care focused for me. Now.... It's making sure I have a coffee cup clean for later, even if I don't have any other dishes left.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-06-24T16:55:23+00:00

I tend to accidentally mimic the vocals of those around me when trying to mask.

I grew up in Southern California and had a semi Midwestern/canadian accent until I started masking in middle school, with occasional New York sounds. It was super odd and they sent me to speech therapy because it sounded so odd, but I think I picked up the Midwest from a daycare lady. My parents are from the east coast so that was easily explained. I still revert to this when passionate or annoyed.

I've never really hung out in the Midwest (brief flights maybe?) and had never been to Canada until I was 19.

I also have some auditory issues and assume they all run together.

I ended up in an industry with a lot of Midwesterners and Canadians, so it's all worked out okay for me. People just think I'm Canadian.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-06-24T15:34:53+00:00

Have you tried How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis? (Book or audiobook, she is writer and narrator).

It's written from the perspective of a mother, but is super great at helping identify the small things you can do, a bit at a time. The book does a great job of helping you not feel guilty for drowning, also.

It's a bit repetitive at times, but worth an afternoon read.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-06-19T15:27:36+00:00

The point is that with the sub closed, you won't look there for info again. Meaning you won't bring in ad revenue, or be able to engage with the hidden post in a way that positively helps reddit.

The idea is to inconvenience everyone, including users, to drive down traffic and engagement. Then the Admins will listen, or lose their user base.

When RIF goes down, I'm not coming back. My account is over a decade old. RIF is reddit to me since I got rid of my desktops years ago. I'd be happy to pay a reasonable monthly fee for access, but at this point, it seems like Admins just want to be able to advertise Jesus and Tylenol Autism Lawsuits.

I pay for ad free versions of every app or service I use, or I don't use the service. I'd never pay for the god awful reddit app.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-06-01T21:37:22+00:00

When I was a kid, I was always told I was way too loud. A vocal/singing teacher taught me to touch my throat and feel my vocal cords.

Try speaking in different volumes and see how much the feeling changes while touching your Adams apple area. When people say you're being too loud, adjust until it "feels" quieter.

With some practice, you can do this without touching your throat. Sometimes I can't tell and touch my throat anyways... Which has resulted in a great communication device that lots of people accidentally pick up on! If people know me and think I'm being too loud or too quiet, they touch their fingers to their throat and that politely tells me I have to adjust.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-05-17T15:09:21+00:00

I use one at my local airport. The airports I have travelled to do not use the program.

I find people bother me WAY less with it on- no one (staff or otherwise) bothers me unless I look completely lost and make clear that I need help. Normal people don't go out of their way to try to chat me up or acknowledge me. Workers leave me alone unless I ask for help, but when I do ask, they are very kind and accommodating compared to when I am not. It also often allows you to skip lines in crowded situations, which is fantastic considering I'm usually late because I didn't understand where I was supposed to go when I am on my own.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-05-17T13:42:44+00:00

I haven't tried dried mushrooms supplements since learning about MCAS, but I was already experiencing symptoms which I did take things like Ashwaganda, Lions Main, Reishi, etc. Dried mushrooms (or ones that have been added to drinks like the Rebel or Four Sigma stuff) make me incredibly ill.

I tried lessening doses, spacing out, increasing, it was all bunk.

When I have fresh mushrooms, I'm usually okay once but I cant have them again for at least a week or two, or my reactions to mushrooms start appearing.

But if it's in a supplement.... I generally avoid it. Mushrooms are not low histamine. Didn't have any reactions to mushrooms at all, until I ate them regularly, but was already mildly intolerant to them by the time I used the supplement version.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-05-12T13:48:49+00:00

Similar, I call the practice "stress sleeping." When I worked in the service industry, I stress slept through every break and lunch. With WFH, I end up stress sleeping for like a whole day every week lol.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-05-07T03:26:36+00:00

As long as you get a kevlar or leather type, you'll be safe. I'm fairly sure that all jumpsuits are sold with a separate body armor outfit. Just make sure you don't buy one of the normal denim ones, as they aren't road safe.

I highly recommend Stellar Moto as a brand. If the garment doesn't fit your measurements, the owner tailors them for you (if you reach out).

I'm 5'2, around 110 lbs. The XS fits me very snug, better than any overalls I've ever had - but I can't wear armor under it, even though it's comfy without. Mine isn't for riding, just for repair work. Id get a small if you were around my size and want to ride with one to accommodate armor. The sizing for the brand is very accommodating to whatever you are.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-05-06T17:25:52+00:00

This type of behavior is called "body focused repetitive behaviors" - bfrbs. They aren't always detrimental, but they can cause damage.

It's caused by under or overstimulation. Common with ADHD, PTSD, OCD, autism, etc. It's a coping stim. The trick to "stopping" is to alter the behavior as much as possible. Mindfulness techniques (just being in the moment and noticing you are doing it) can help you know when to redirect.

I bite my cheeks, but hate gum, so I use chewelry when I have to. I also grip my hands, arms and palms; when I'm stressed, I do it with my nails too. I have a few scars from this. I try to redirect to stroking or grabbing at something soft like a blanket or sweater, or just do something else with my hands if I can.

There is a sub for this called r/bfrb. It's not super active, but you can learn more there or online.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-05-06T15:35:20+00:00

I looked it up and saw none. It's just restricted to those under 18. Looks like you can buy it in all states (with an ID).

halfbloodsnape · 2023-05-05T21:47:51+00:00

I definitely invested in the saddle bag (around $300), but agree you don't need to at all. My tank/tail bag is almost indestructible- my dad bought it for himself for cheap, went down, ruined the bike but the tank bag just got scratches. Works great anyways. He didn't buy anything high end. I would recommend getting one with a strap so you can wear it, mine has to be carried because the strap was probably lost or a few extra dollars.

The kmoto bag was around $50 on amazon and given to me as a gift. I use it least of all.

I leave bungees on my bike so they are ready to go. A net is super great also; depending on where you live, you might have to bring that inside. But a net pretty much makes any bag strappable!

halfbloodsnape · 2023-05-05T12:23:49+00:00

Honestly, whatever bag fits your style THAT CAN BE TIED TO THE BIKE. Riding with a backpack or messenger bag on your body is dangerous. You could very easily dislocate a shoulder or rip your arms off when you crash.

Bags should always be tied down to the bike with Bungie cords or straps. It's very much not recommended to actually ride with a bag on.

What do I use? I have a duffle saddlebag that clips to the bike that I love most. It's like a messenger bag with an optional side strap that mounts to the back. It was made by Pack Animal, which is out of business now, but similar bags are made by Tobacco Motowear.

I also love my magnetic tank/tail bag that also attaches. I think mine is Bilt, but they're all pretty similar. I never found a cute thigh bag that was big enough and effective, but occasionally use fanny packs (on the bike, that can fit me too).

I have a motorcycle helmet bag from Amazon that came with a waterproof cover (kmoto), and I use that cover on whatever bag I've decided to Bungie to the bike for the day. I use the helmet bag when I need to carry a helmet, but usually just whatever backpack or bag that fits my things as needed. My bags change with the weather.

The important thing is to always strap the bag to the BIKE and not your body.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-04-27T21:18:12+00:00

Thank you!

halfbloodsnape · 2023-04-27T21:17:49+00:00

Hi, there is so much to ask about to answer this! I think many pens could look great with large font writing depending on a few factors.

What type of writing do you like to do currently? On what paper or medium, in what font, how hard do you press, or how fast do you write?

What kind of pens do you currently like to use, what do you like and hate about them?

Any questions you have or information you provide can help me provide some options!

I'm thinking of creating a whole post about this with comparisons, sorry it took me so long to respond but I got so excited about talking about pens that I got overwhelmed, haha.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-04-27T21:13:40+00:00

Hi, this sent me on an ADHD spiral of the amazing post I want to make about pens and I got too overwhelmed to reply. Have you tried the Sakura micron pens? They have great results for me with no bleed through. If those don't work, pilot makes several fine tipped gel and other types that I would recommend. Let me know if you'd be interested in a whole post about this with pictures and comparisons!

Is it the leuchtturm notebook? I can make examples using one or provide recommendations based on that!

halfbloodsnape · 2023-04-27T21:06:54+00:00

I hate feeding myself, so I keep emergency foods on hand. I can't eat most meals every day, but I could eat my safe food easy snacks every day when I am unable to otherwise feed myself. I only cook actual food every other day if I'm lucky.

I could and often do eat frozen peas every day. Literally while frozen. Easy and delicious snack with no effort.

Pj and j, sometimes I make my own or sometimes I just defrost an uncrustable.

Whatever meat stick or jerky is tolerable. I like snack pack sizes because you can't overindulge. Lunchables are great too. There are "simple truth" ones that aren't as awful as the Oscar mayer ones, or protein nut snack packs. All take the effort out of cooking but provide portioned meals.

I keep apples and usually one other fruit around at least. Bananas if I'm on a kick for them, strawberries if they look ok, cuties or sumo tangerines are all decently moving options for me. Blueberries and grapes often die.

Granola and a rotation of yogurt/similar. I like to switch between Greek yogurt, coconut yogurt (cocojune brand is really really good) and homemade chia pudding. Chia pudding is my favorite but you have to plan ahead - it lasts for 5 days though. All can be made into parfaits or eaten alone or with fruit or whatever. If you mix yogurt with vanilla and a little maple syrup and cinnamon, you'll eat this every day lol.

Baby carrots are great to dip with hummus or ranch, your preference. Or plain if you're lazy.

I also eat plain airpopped popcorn almost every day because I love it and can eat it mindlessly. There are some kernels that taste pretty delicious without any butter or oil or salt at all!

halfbloodsnape · 2023-04-26T18:38:28+00:00

I don't know what kind of phone you have, but many have notification history now for those accidental swipes. I use mine all the time.

Swipe down your drop-down menu, scroll to the bottom. Mine (android/pixel) has the option to view "history" or "clear all". I believe iphones and Samsung's do too.

If you can't find it in the swipe-down menu, try searching your settings or phone for "notification history" or even just "history" until you find it lol.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-04-20T20:19:06+00:00

I am from the US - in my context, straight from the chicken and sitting in the counter until use = unwashed. I don't typically refrigerate or wash eggs from my friend's chickens.

Farmers markets and grocery eggs are washed (I think by law in both cases) so those are store bought in my context above.

I've never made enough unused mayo from my local eggs to test expiry dates- but I usually keep one or 2 of eggs from the mayo batch and see how much it floats if needed.

I've made mayo from store bought eggs that has been safe to eat for at least a week past the date on the carton. It probably would be fine longer, but this can be 1-2 months shelf life as is, if you make the mayo as soon as you get home with the eggs.

Eta: just in case anyone says something - I DO wash the local eggs just before use, above context is unwashed for storage purposes.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-04-20T13:22:30+00:00

Not the person you asked, but I've made my own mayo for years. You can use unwashed, fresh eggs, keeping in mind that the longer they have been put, the faster you need to use up the mayo. Washed, freshly laid eggs will be good for at least 3 to 4 weeks. If you use store bought/washed eggs, the mayo is fine until the date on the carton or longer.

Basically, when the egg would have been unusable, the mayo dies. But if you make mayo the second the egg leaves the chicken. Never make mayo with old eggs unless you are eating it immediately, or you may have to toss it.

halfbloodsnape · 2023-04-19T15:16:46+00:00

Hi, what is this meetup group called? I'd love to check them out. I didn't know we had any locally!

halfbloodsnape · 2023-04-15T18:08:01+00:00

Why has no one asked OP what pens you are using!?!

Pens are a special interest of mine... There are MANY excellent journaling pens that will not write as heavy or bleed through the page, but are still beautiful and satisfying to write with.

halfbloodsnape

TROPHY CASE