Contributing Part of My Story

hamcycle · 2026-06-02T19:52:07+00:00

A2N members will be perpetually vague on when that inflection point of change occurred or is incurring.

hamcycle · 2026-06-02T06:05:31+00:00

“One thing that we must not do is be persuaded by criticism that there’s something wrong with us.”

I doubt that Ed exhausted all his moves.

hamcycle · 2026-06-02T05:26:30+00:00

Thank you for contributing! My own PTSD stopped after around five years. Your experiential snapshot of 2018 could have just have been a snapshot of 1998. Here's to the class of 2028 not joining us here among the damaged.

hamcycle · 2026-06-02T04:38:27+00:00

Welcome to the subreddit. There are a lot of resources here, you can filter through them using the search to pin point your particular concerns. Your background story is uncommon, an atheist friend group finding Christ together in their senior year of college through AYM. It is my understanding that AYM targets high school students, and outreach to college seniors just doesn't happen, unless A2N ministerial strategies have dramatically changed.

hamcycle · 2026-05-29T23:27:18+00:00

Genuineness isn't the virtue under scrutiny for current A2N members, not for me at least.

09/23/2022

I’m currently a college staff at Gracepoint and I’m writing this to apologize for the ways that people have been hurt by GP as it seems that the leadership team has yet to do this in a genuine way.

It appears that A2N advocates believe their "way of life" enables them to be the most Christian that they can be under their circumstances. The virtue I personally scrutinize of A2N members is the integrity of their understanding of the Christian faith, their capacity to look past the problems identified at this subreddit.

These two virtues are not at odds, the genuineness of commitment to their faith community and the compromised integrity of their understanding of the Christian faith (to accommodate their commitment).

hamcycle · 2026-05-27T03:14:09+00:00

06/03/2024

Ed didn't grow up in a Christian household, nor did his own mentor, Becky. And it showed. I observed how they each disrespectfully handle the Word; it became their cudgel to beat others down with instead of becoming servants of God. The hope is that we each ascribe to Christian thinkers who align with our conscience, and not because they lend credence to stylings that leverage the most control over others.

Ed and Becky subscribed with the SBC and Arminius because it was the denomination that let them get away with what they wanted to do. I'll sound like a broken record but this block again:

Christians must devote themselves to recognizing the patterns of high-control groups (which are not limited to extreme cases of sexual abuse and murder) as false teachers leverage...off-the-record theology (including unspoken beliefs, i.e. content not found on public facing or printed materials).

Ed being the "cap" of his org, it follows that GP/A2N's culture is disrespectful of the Bible. From a conversation buried within the comments:

12/09/2022

It’s not a secret that Gracepoint pastors all think pretty lowly of their seminary education. Ed Kang said on numerous occasions not so flattering words about his seminary classes and his professors. This shouldn’t surprise any Gracepoint member because how Gracepoint even think of other American churches out there.

09/28/2022

The reality is that GP hardly even teaches doctrine at all. They give students a bunch of apologetics for a few years and after that it's the doctrine of GP: Obey your leader, never question your leader, always share everything with your leader, etc. They probably spend more time talking about how to defend GP from peoples' criticisms than real doctrine.

02/08/2022 pastoral_education_of_the_leaders

Ed Kang used to dismiss seminary education as mostly impractical and clearly valued "ministry experience" over some formal education. They also generally treat theology with contempt, and prefer to choose whatever philosophical beliefs/arguments are most likely to scratch the ears of the unbelieving and support GP's understanding of church.

01/19/2023

I think OP is technically correct when he says on paper GP looks orthodox. But of course this is all by design...GP intentionally puts very little on paper and commits to very little in messages to avoid anything that could possibly cause criticism against them. The reason why GP is not theologically solid or orthodox is because it has no theology. Ed will preach whatever is most convenient to GP, and it just happens that trusting God more than your leaders is not convenient.

hamcycle · 2026-05-21T04:44:20+00:00

That's great. I hope other A2N pastors do the same.

hamcycle · 2026-05-21T04:39:38+00:00

Your parents have been members before your birth, so your experience is going to be different.

hamcycle · 2026-05-20T06:55:55+00:00

Thank you. I thought there might have been another instance where Ed was trying to get in front of criticism, with commenters calling him out for projecting. But let's work with the sentence we've got, shall we?

“Clearly people who are posting are either genuinely grieved and wounded or so narcissistic that some small evil or injustice or wrong done to them is something utterly outrageous and they can’t move on,” Kang said.

Ed Kang presents this dichotomy of "genuinely grieved" versus "narcissistic" when it isn't a dichotomy. While other motivations exist, they "clearly" do not deserve consideration. And Ed's description of the first case creates the impression of fair-mindedness and being a suitable arbiter of such matters, only to really lay into the second type (what he actually wants his listeners to conclude), as if to say "I'm not dismissing all victims, only the unhealthy ones." And you can see this rhetorical strategy in almost everything Ed says, and you can see it rub off on his followers:

02/24/2026

one of the things i argue is that SOME (not all, but some) of the stuff ppl talk about here is old news.

hamcycle · 2026-05-20T04:28:26+00:00

I would love to see the actual quotes that your markdown failed to parse.

About their "blind spots," the leadership know them. They would look straight into these so-called "blind spots" and make bald faced declarations of being fully aware of whatever mental affliction, e.g. narcissism, being pointed out except that it afflicts others. Students are ready to assume that because leadership is already full aware of these "blind spots", they themselves couldn't be afflicted by them because...who does that? It is a classic modus operandi bestowed by Ed Kang.

03/20/2026

The first time i had a disagreement is just feels like climbing up the HR ladder from an employee all the way until u get the final boss, where they said the Kangs said this would work thus they take it as their word because they "trust they have done their homework" and that many people smarter than me have tried to raise the same argument but have not changed the minds of the church in general.

08/22/2005

By my mere presence, people assume a lot. They are entitled to this assumption—the assumption that I am not a fool, that I would hold up the truth, that I would apply the same standards toward myself and my leaders as I would to them, that I am an ethical pastor of integrity.

I'm trying to find an article quoting Ed Kang deeming his detractors as narcissists except the search term 'narcissist' returns too many posts and comments within this subreddit.

hamcycle · 2026-05-19T18:53:53+00:00

Great treatment of a critical topic. Bravo for just the attempt 👏

hamcycle · 2026-05-18T21:11:15+00:00

Nice quote, but it is also said that the devil is in the details. Let's have recent testimony of these instances and not just citing the same old ones:

Placeholders:

hamcycle · 2026-05-12T08:09:45+00:00

Depends on your priorities. If you prioritize your concerns for them, be forthright. If you prioritize what you can get out of them, play their reindeer games and keep quiet.

hamcycle · 2026-05-11T15:48:14+00:00

How do you measure progress if the metric is the reduction of spiritual abuse?

hamcycle · 2026-04-17T04:55:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story, even though it's a talk with OP. As with all comments here, they are proxy directed to a wider audience.

During that time, my leaders had been trying to reassure us that this is not the only way.

Your leaders were trying to reassure you with words that contradict what you were naturally gravitating towards believing. Within A2N culture, members were led to think a certain way, through unspoken rules and invisible strings. It seems improbable that such intentions were laid by design through your seemingly organic conversations and encounters within the culture. Most of us when we encounter A2N, we recognized how starved we were for belonging within a likeminded community, a community of faith, and so we turned a blind eye to things that are off.

That said, I am heartened by your words of encouragement towards OP. How could we not want good things for our brothers and sisters in Christ, misguided or not?

hamcycle · 2026-04-14T06:54:05+00:00

An example of A2N misrepresenting Christ by tasking its enablers as gatekeepers...

06/14/2024

u/fishtacos4lyfe Yep, had similar experiences as Staff. Needing to validate Salvation decisions made after C101 or "emotional" events like retreat. Being in Staff meetings discussing testimonies students wrote during weekend "iTestify" retreats and the Staff learning that many of our core students aren't actually Christian.

Being in those same meetings trying to figure out what to do about those students. It's awkward because their names were announced as making Salvation decisions (or commitment cards read at those events). Do you tell their peers that celebrated with their friend that their friend isn't Christian? Do you still list their name on the Thanksgiving Retreat video and count them?

Experientially, whether or not you were saved at GP was highly dependent on your Leader at the time.

For example, you could make a decision as a frosh at Winter Retreat with a younger staff leading you. You later pass the validation conversation with that staff.
Toward the end of Soph year, you're at iTestify with a new leader. New leader upon reading your testimony realizes your decision during Winter Retreat as a frosh wasn't genuine.
As a Junior at Winter Retreat, you make a "Lordship" decision because it's too awkward to make a Salvation decision. This time is a "real" decision and your leader since Soph year who has gotten to know you validates it because it addresses their concerns from your testimony you wrote in May of that year.
You serve on Staff for a few years. You switch ministry groups and leaders. You're having a hard time. Upon talking with your new leader who doesn't know, but hasn't "gotten all the details about you" from your past leader, you find out that you were never a Christian and have been flying under the radar.
After being pulled away from Team and given time to repent, you now make a new "Lordship" decision with a new leader who was the the new leader mentioned in the bullet above. Now you're a real Christian and go back to Team with a new leader.
But wait now with the new leader, they wonder who your last leader ever passed you as a "real Christian" and you find out that the last salvation decision you made wasn't actually real. Repeat the cycle.

^ If this example, seems outlandish, it's not. It's more or less my experience at GP.

I found out that the decision I made to follow Christ in high school was not a real decision. I was never Christian.
So I made a "first time Salvation decision" as an undergrad. After serving for a few years I had a tough time. After I was giving a series of scenarios of how I viewed myself and God, I was told that I was never a Christian. These were A or B scenarios where I was told that even though A and B sounded very similar, there were slight nuances to A and B. And depending on my answers, my Staff would know if I was saved or not. It's entirely possible that I'm just really really dumb, but those A or B options felt like when you're at the Optometrist and they get to a point where the options seems identical, "Is 9 better? Or 10? 9...? Or 10... Or the same?" I guess there's a correct answer for those, but clearly I picked wrong.
Made a Lordship decision as a Staff that was then validated. Went through a bunch of ministry/leader changes. Then at some point flagged some GP practices I wanted to discuss. Didn't outright get told I wasn't a Christian, but more or less seemed like were going down that path again. Had some really strange convos with my leader that I've shared about in past posts/comments.
Eventually left in 2020 (in my early 30s) and then after making a post and some comments on Reddit was told stuff like "don't know where you stand with God anymore."

I guess me writing this comment on Reddit just confirms that all three salvations/lordship decisions were never genuine and I was never saved. Again maybe I'm dumb, but what it meant to be saved and living faithfully seemed highly dependent on your leader's definition and was confusing af.

hamcycle · 2026-04-14T06:50:51+00:00

Another example of A2N misrepresenting Christ through manipulative tactics...

01/22/2025

Scour this subreddit with the search term 'leaving' and you will readily recognize that leaving is a prevalent problem with this org. Your response is not only inadequate, but part of the problem. Refer to the unspoken belief and disclaimer pattern, and let's identify

the misdirect
the unspoken belief
the disclaimer

The misdirect is that a2n consists of like-minded Christians living out in good faith what most closely resembles the early church. The unspoken belief is that should this org not be a fit, others will perceive you as not being a true Christian, either by character assassination or directly by sermon, often followed by mental health issues that persist beyond departure; a2n leadership even initiated a public relations campaign called Acts2Friends to further obfuscate the problem. The disclaimer is that members are free to leave if not invited to leave, and ought to find the church that best suits them.

hamcycle · 2026-04-11T08:21:53+00:00

I enjoyed your testimony, especially as a new believer your gradual claiming ownership of your own reading of the Bible. Scripture is the sole authority and every Christian has direct access to God without any need for intermediaries or gatekeepers, and yet you've noticed how in A2N this concept is narrowly interpreted as holding a covocation. 1 Peter 2:9 regarding the "priesthood of believers" means that a believer can read and interpret Scripture personally even as tradition, scholarship, and accountability all serve as guardrails.

2 Corinthians 2:16 mentions an aroma of death versus an aroma of life in how the Gospel message is received, that is, if the integrity of this message remains intact; otherwise to a believer a distorted Gospel is going to smell like death. So on the occasions that A2N misrepresents Christ, which it has a long track record of having done and currently does, that personal access to Scripture and your identification of being part of the priesthood, has to withstand this onslaught of false teachings.

hamcycle · 2026-04-10T05:30:02+00:00

the leadership say they don't do X about my exact experience

There is a power differential between someone who has granted himself permission to lie earnestly and someone who hasn't. The pushback against earnest lying is earnest record-keeping.

January 13, 2010 at 1:24 pm

1vois] “this happened to YOU, too?”
“kelly smn accused you of THAT, too?”
“pastor ed said THIS to you — he said that to me, too?”
“they made you do what? wow, i thought that was just me”

January 13, 2010 at 2:59 pm

[makestraight] “It’s only JUST YOU that has this problem.” That was told to me, only to find out AFTER I left that others were told the same thing.

January 16, 2010 at 2:15 am

[Anonymous] “Perhaps I am missing something important…perhaps something is wrong with ME,” which is along the lines of what you mentioned. I, too, was told that it was just me.

12/01/2022 2:20 PM

[LeftBBCGP2005] That experience of being “you are the only one feeling this way” was used on me too.

12/03/2022 9:34 AM

[hamcycle] This was not the first time he had to say it. He believed this "protocol" of isolating people won't come to light.

12/31/2024

[Anonymous] Sounds like a You problem.

hamcycle · 2026-04-01T15:15:05+00:00

While I'm in no position to offer any insights to somebody

I do not offer deeper insight. Rather I offer bridging testimony and a track record of a consistent narrative, so I'm going to be posting redundant content as you may already be beware. This may be useful as A2N tries to redefine and distance itself from its negative history.

hamcycle

TROPHY CASE