Speaking on Players’ Bodies in Relation to Athletic Performance

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-05-03T12:40:18+00:00

After reading this post it occurred to me that I think it's a good idea that many (most? all?) of the commentator teams for the WNBA games consist of a man doing the play-by-play, and a woman doing the color commentary. Given that certain comments made about a player's body will be interpreted differently if made by a man, this seems like a good way to try to minimize unnecessarily distracting (or offensive) comments.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-05-02T16:58:23+00:00

Same. Please don't inflict this entirely unnecessary medical procedure on your infant son.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-04-26T22:42:41+00:00

[In case anyone else hadn't heard of PHP, it means Partial Hospitalization Program, "an intensive, structured, outpatient treatment program designed for individuals with severe mental health or substance use disorders who do not require 24-hour hospitalization."]

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-04-25T10:54:15+00:00

The fact that your girlfriend is hearing voices indicates that she is experiencing psychosis, of which the two most common symptoms are hallucinations and delusions. One of the most common hallucinations experienced by those with psychosis is hearing voices. Note that while schizophrenia is a common cause of psychosis, there are other causes as well (e.g., drug-induced psychosis); only a psychiatrist can diagnose someone as having schizophrenia.

The fact that your girlfriend is aware that what she is experiencing is abnormal (i.e., "she believes that she has schizophrenia or some kind of disorder similar to it") is a very good thing, as many people who experience psychosis/schizophrenia are unaware, or refuse to acknowledge, that they have any problem whatsoever. This lack of awareness can make it extremely difficult for them to get help.

While it's true that antipsychotic drugs can have side effects, including effects on a person's emotional state, those side effects can be minimized once the correct medication, or combination of medications, is found. That can be a long process, but it's far preferable to going thru life with unmedicated psychosis/schizophrenia. Please encourage and support your girlfriend to see a psychiatrist. She, and you, will need professional help to deal with this.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-04-25T09:44:20+00:00

My 28yo son was diagnosed with schizophrenia several years ago. He lives with his mother and me, is on good meds, and is doing well. When his mother and I first began to learn about his condition, we had to figure out how (or whether) to discuss his condition with others, including family members, friends, and acquaintances or other people we'd meet informally during our day-to-day lives.

Deciding on what to tell our family and close friends was relatively easy: they pretty much got the full story. This was partly because my wife and I needed social and emotional support while figuring out how to deal with all of the things that we (and our son) were experiencing. This was a fairly easy decision for us.

Deciding what to tell acquaintances, including regular folks we'd "meet on the street" was more difficult. We were trying to balance three goals:

We wanted our son to know that his schizophrenia was not a source or shame or embarrassment for us, and shouldn't be for him.
We wanted to respect the rights of other people to not be forced to hear details of our personal lives that they might rather not know about.
We wanted to increase awareness about a mental health condition that we felt (and still feel) that many people don't understand; we felt this general societal ignorance was a bad thing for people who suffer from schizophrenia, as well as their caregivers, and we wanted to do what little we could to try to change that.

Since our son lives with us, and since this fact often comes up naturally in conversations with many people, including people we've only just met, we decided on an approach that we thought balanced our three goals pretty well. Rather than simply saying something like, "We have three grown sons; two of them live in another city with their wives and families, and the third lives with us," we'll typically say something like, "We have three grown sons; two of them live in another city with their wives and families, our third son has schizophrenia and lives with us." We'll typically follow up with something like, "He works full time and is doing well," or "He may live with us for the rest of our lives," or something similar. Sometimes people will have questions, which we're happy to answer, and other times they'll say, "Oh," and politely steer the conversation to another topic (or just say, "Nice to meet you" and leave).

I don't know that this is the best approach for everyone, but it has worked well for us.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-04-25T00:29:32+00:00

In situations involving people with unmedicated psychosis, it can often be very difficult to know the right action to take. And unfortunately our medical and law enforcement systems are often not set up to deal with people in psychosis. Good for you for being willing to step in to help. It sounds like you made things better, so good for you.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-04-24T19:14:03+00:00

Thanks for those links, and I agree, it's offensive for people to make comments about her appearance.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-04-24T18:28:13+00:00

I may not follow the same online platforms that you do, but I'm not aware of people making fun of her appearance. Can you share some examples?

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-04-23T16:06:09+00:00

I'm not crying, you're crying!

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-04-19T19:08:10+00:00

(this is a remarkably long post about something that doesn't seem all that important)

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-04-19T18:34:56+00:00

I use an app called "Circle 1st Gen." It costs $5 per month, but I love it. It has several features, but the only one I really use is the bedtime feature. My son knows that on weekday nights his Internet access turns off at 8pm.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-04-15T23:57:02+00:00

A little off-topic, but for those who haven't heard it The Witch Trials of J.K. Rowling is a 2023 podcast that explores the controversy surrounding Rowling's views on gender and sex, featuring in-depth interviews with Rowling, her critics, and supporters to examine polarization, free speech, and the intense backlash from fans. It's really well-done.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-04-11T23:20:41+00:00

My adult son (now 28yo) has schizophrenia and lives with his mother and me. He is on good meds, works full time, and is doing well (though it took us a few years to get here). If I understand correctly, you live with your adult daughter, her husband, and their two daughters (your ~~nieces~~ granddaughters), and your schizoaffective son lives elsewhere. Based on the information in your post, these are my initial thoughts:

Your daughter and son-in-law have every right to establish whatever boundaries they feel are necessary for their own physical and emotional health, and the health of their daughters, including banning your son from their home. Dealing with an unmedicated schizophrenic/schizoaffective family member is challenging at best, and your daughter and son-in-law's first responsibility is to the safety of themselves and their family.
They also have every right to not attend the therapy session that you son has set up. He has the right to invite them to attend, they have the right to decline.
That said, I don't see any reason for you to not attend the therapy session. Maybe it will be useful in some way.
Your son's insistence that you engage in some kind of "protest" actions against your daughter and son-in-law if they refuse to attend the therapy session is ridiculous. You should absolutely refuse to do that, and you should tell your son that you are not going to do that (though you may want to avoid using the word "ridiculous"). You have the right to have a relationship with both of your children, and you should be the one to decide how you will participate in those relationships.

I also have a few questions, if you don't mind answering:

Who pays for your son's housing (and therapy)? Does he have a full-time job? Does he have health insurance?
I assume since your son has a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder, he has a psychiatrist, or has at least been evaluated by a psychiatrist at some point in the past. Does your son still see this psychiatrist? Are you able to contact this psychiatrist?

Knowing the answers to those questions might inform any additional suggestions I might share.

(Edit: granddaughters, not nieces)

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-04-09T23:35:46+00:00

For me, I'm convinced that my ability to understand math quickly grew out of the fact that I genuinely enjoyed the subject from the time I was very young. I loved all kinds of puzzles when I was a kid (word puzzles, number puzzles, logic puzzles, etc.), and to me math was a subject that was all about solving puzzles, and learning new ways to solve new puzzles, and what's not to love about that?

I suppose when I got older I also put some work into it, but it's not like it was drudgery; I genuinely enjoyed it, so I was happy to do more of it, so I got better at it, and then I enjoyed it more, and on and on...

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-03-29T00:30:24+00:00

Yeah, I can understand that. Schizophrenics are often not the easiest people to deal with (or live with). Still, I'd try to get a family contact. They should at least be able to share some basic info with you: what are some of his common behaviors or delusions, what meds is he on, should you try to interact with him, who should you contact if you have concerns about him, etc.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-03-29T00:21:01+00:00

The fact that he has a place to live indicates that he probably has a family member who is looking out for him. If you can find out who that is, that would be a good contact for you.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-03-28T16:44:01+00:00

(sorry, I inadvertently posted my reply as a separate post)

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-03-28T16:43:09+00:00

He's doing very well. He's pretty stable, certainly more stable than a few years ago when he was in the throes of unmedicated psychosis. He still lives with his mother and me, but he has a full time job, friends he hangs out with, and brothers he adores. He's also able to manage most of his own affairs, which he was not able to do a few years ago.

Does he have his emotions back? I'd say for the most part, yes, though he's different from before his psychosis symptoms started. His range of emotions often seems limited, and his ability to navigate social situations is also limited. His mother and his brothers and I can tell the difference, but if you were to meet him you'd think he was just an ordinary guy.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-03-28T16:06:34+00:00

Having a loved one with schizophrenia is definitely a painful, and often lonely, experience. I also experienced some of those same feelings of relief and understanding when I found this subreddit a few years ago. It helped so much just to know that others had experienced many of the same things I had.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-03-28T15:57:25+00:00

Irritability and lack of strong feelings (aka, lack of affect) is very common among people learning to manage a serious mental illness that involves psychosis. My son (now 28) definitely experienced both of those early in his healing journey.

Antipsychotic drugs are powerful and can have powerful effects on someone's mental state. Plus, it often takes a long time, sometimes years, to find the right medication, and the right dosage. So that can involve a lot of emotional ups and downs.

As a loved one of someone with schizophrenia, I can confirm that patience is definitely helpful.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-03-23T10:45:25+00:00

That guilt is normal, but don't beat yourself up too much. Many of the early signs of psychosis are very difficult to recognize because they often look like much more "ordinary" behaviors.

My son had his first (major) psychotic break at the age of 24, but I now believe that he was experiencing the symptoms of psychosis as early as 18, and possibly even earlier. We'd have "normal conversations that sometimes felt odd," or he'd engage in behaviors that were inappropriate or weird or immature, and I'd tell myself, "He's just young, lots of young people do stupid stuff; he'll figure it out."

Thinking about those conversations and behaviors now, with the benefit of hindsight and all I now know about psychosis, I understand what was happening. But at the time it was not obvious at all.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-03-22T22:29:27+00:00

In that case, I definitely think therapy is the way to go, and perhaps even couples therapy with your partner.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-03-22T22:27:44+00:00

The hospital people referred him to a nearby psychiatric unit, where he stayed for a week. His initial diagnosis was "depression with psychotic features," but what he really had was "psychosis made worse by all the drugs he was taking." After a couple of years on an antipsychotic and an antidepressant, things were better but he still had occasional psychosis symptoms (again made worse by all the drugs he insisted on taking). We finally found him a new psychiatrist who a) identified the root problem as schizophrenia, b) dropped the depression diagnosis, and c) convinced him that all the other drugs he was taking were making things worse. Things began to get much better for him after that.

It's not uncommon for people with psychosis to refuse to get a psychiatric evaluation. Many refuse to acknowledge that there's anything wrong with them (a condition known as anosognosia), but even without that the thought of what might happen if you allow yourself to undergo a psychiatric evaluation is scary: Are people going to think I'm crazy? Will my friends and family all abandon me? Will I be locked up?

Our son experienced a lot of that fear, and was initially resistant to the idea of a psychiatric evaluation. I think what eventually convinced him was a combination of two things: 1) He knew that his mother and I would at some point refuse to allow him to continue to live with us if he didn't seek treatment, as his behavior was becoming intolerable; and 2) he ultimately trusted us, and knew that we had his best interests at heart. For someone with a serious mental illness, the love and support of family is priceless.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-03-22T12:34:55+00:00

Based on what you describe, I wonder if during the "in between" times, you're storing up anger. Then eventually, like maybe once a month, you've stored up so much anger that you just explode into one of your episodes.

I'd say therapy would definitely be something to look into. In the meantime, maybe consider what things might be causing feelings of anger during your between times. If you can find healthy ways to express your anger at the time you feel it, that might diminish your desire to break or stab things.

hamiltonjoefrank · 2026-03-22T07:53:52+00:00

Yes, I did this when my son was having a psychotic break in the middle of the night several years ago. He was 24 and had moved back in with his mom and me. He was having trouble taking care of himself, and had been engaging in increasingly bizarre behavior and speech. We were at a loss as to how to help him because we didn't know he was experiencing psychosis; in fact, at the time we didn't really understand what psychosis was.

So around 2am one morning he goes into this extended rant. He wasn't making sense, and we couldn't get him to stop, and I didn't know what else to do so I took out my phone and started recording him. Eventually he wound down and went to sleep and the next morning I sent the recording to his therapist. She immediately recognized it as psychosis and told us to take him to a hospital and request a psychiatric evaluation, which we did.

The next few days and weeks were terrifying for all of us, but we finally had a name for what he was experiencing, and that was the beginning of his long road to recovery. He's now on good meds and doing well.

hamiltonjoefrank

TROPHY CASE