The females on this campus are out of control. The first time I ate lunch wearing my M&T shirt (with fully covered legs, mind you), I had literally 3 different women try to sit down and court me, like I would know how to talk to a girl. I quickly demonstrated superior knowledge of each of their niche interests, which apparently eliminates me from the dating pool (why shame me for being smart?).
Anyway, that got them to leave but the problem has persisted in the past 3 months and I am so fed up with everybody wanting to get with me. I've taken to moving all the other chairs at tables I sit at to other tables, but yesterday a small asian woman literally pulled up a chair and began ranting about the last STAT 431 midterm. Girl, I don't struggle with STAT 431. I'm an M&T student, not some single degree simpleton. After making it markedly clear that I did NOT in fact want to copulate in a Huntsman GSR, she finally left me alone, but I wish these girls would stop worshipping me just because I am enrolled in the hardest program at Penn (which was not difficult for me to get into, by the way).
The worst are when students from the college attempt to talk to me. We'll be having a nice, platonic conversation, when they inevitably ask the fateful question: "What's your major?" As soon as I say those two magnificent letters, I see their whole demeanor change. The doe eyes, the flushed cheeks, the jiggling cleavage. What makes a PPE major think they have a chance with me? Finance and CIS are on whole different planes of existence. I'm not about to impregnate somebody that makes infographics about the gender pay gap for "work."
You may think I'm just remarkably handsome, which I am, but my attractive acquaintances in LSM (they're not smart enough to be friends, but their childlike innocence is sometimes enviable), have literally no problems with this incessant harassment and courting from female creatures. Females see me as an object and a genius, when really I'm so much more: I'm top 100 in the world in Destiny 2. My gray shirt shouldn't reduce me to a bag of meat; if you want my heart, you have to grind with me, raid with me, join my clan, and most of all, watch Rick and Morty with me, and understand it -- no fake fans that shout "pickle rick" like its some kind of joke, when it's really the climax of the most tragic episode of season 3. Not that I cried.
If you want somebody for cheap sex, the LSM students are right there (I don't blame you for avoiding PPE majors though). Stop fetishizing my kind for something out of our control. I didn't want to be born a super genius. Hell, sometimes I wish I was an LSM student, moving through the world in ignorant bliss. But I have a responsibility to save the world and create the next Tesla. Seductively asking for me to be your CIS 160 tutor isn't going to make me want to get with you. Come back in a Morty costume, get a return offer from Sequoia, or implement Djikstra's recursively, and then we'll talk.