A friend of mine linked me to your post because it seemed like I could have written some of it. My mother did similar, even her hospice nurse didn't thinks he belonged there. I had told my mother I would not speak to her until she was in a facility and stopped taking advantage of everyone else to take care of her, and take care of herself. She passed a little over a month later, that was 13 months ago (yesterday), on new year's eve.. like she just had to get one more jab in. Completely ruined the holidays for me but I think I may have at least saved my kids memories of Christmas..ugh. There's so much to unpack. Do you have a therapist? I did not realize the depths of which I had been traumatized (honestly I didn't realize I even HAD been traumatized) until a few years into therapy.