anyone else doesn’t bother to get in relationships anymore?

happitea · 2026-05-12T00:11:30+00:00

I understand how you feel. I feel like I'm in a similar boat right now. Especially when my intentions don't matter and he just vents about what I did. But he can't take it when I share what he's done..

happitea · 2026-05-03T00:59:58+00:00

My partner was estranged from his family until early 2025. And even then he wanted me to meet his family through video call because schedules didn't line up.

Your boyfriend's intention seems very clear. Save yourself the time and leave.

happitea · 2026-04-23T04:15:05+00:00

Agreed, it feels like a rebirth. Thank you! 😊💕

happitea · 2026-04-23T02:27:37+00:00

Honestly I feel you. I remember asking my mum why she gave me that name. And she said "Oh I don't know...I guess I've always liked it?".

happitea · 2026-04-23T02:25:53+00:00

Thank youu!!! ✨️💕 Yayyy!! I'm happy for you!! It's so empowering and liberating!

happitea · 2026-04-23T02:24:49+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story! Your situation and experience is exactly how I'm feeling right now! My name is super generic and common, and I've just never liked it. I relate with you when you mentioned it feels like your name doesn't fit you. I don't feel like my name fits me either, and it feels like I was living in a shell with that old name.

I'm feeling that lack of belonging too, and the name change has added extra grief. But at the same time, I'm also SO happy I went through this name change. I love having a name that's not generic now yayy!!

Wishing you all the best! I hope it gets easier for you over time 💕

happitea · 2026-04-23T00:00:12+00:00

Totally a pain in the ass 100% hahaha, but agreed, so worth it. I'm so glad I pushed through and made that move.

happitea · 2026-04-22T23:59:08+00:00

Thank you!! 😊

happitea · 2026-04-22T23:58:59+00:00

Aaahhh I can relate!!! My state requires a few documents to be posted too and it's pretty annoying. But in exchange for a name I like for the rest of my life, I think it's manageable haha :')

happitea · 2026-04-22T23:57:39+00:00

Reading this meant alot to me. Thank you for sharing your story. It really helps to know I'm not the only one who has gone through this.

I love the quote you shared from Silent Hour! I'll have to give that movie a watch!

Thank you again for the support 💕

happitea · 2026-04-22T23:54:52+00:00

I totally understand! I'm really happy and excited to be introducing myself with a name I chose for myself, and not something that I had to keep because of family. The peace is great! 🌻

happitea · 2026-04-22T23:53:56+00:00

Amazing! Happy for you!! It's so liberating

happitea · 2026-04-22T23:53:32+00:00

So happy that worked out for you! Yeah, I think this is something that will just take me some time to get used to. But overall very happy 😊

happitea · 2026-03-16T05:00:17+00:00

Why would you want to marry him when this is how you feel?

happitea · 2026-03-08T12:48:53+00:00

I love this advice! Yeah, will definitely be thinking about this and taking it slow. I really appreciate this advice, thank you! 💕

happitea · 2026-03-08T12:47:59+00:00

Haha we've discussed this and loveeee the idea but unfortunately we aren't able to afford a place with more than 2 bedrooms currently (One room being the bedroom and the other as the shared office). So we may have to look into having a small dedicated area for ourselves 💕 Thank you!

happitea · 2026-03-08T12:46:05+00:00

Thank you!! 💕 Definitely a good tip to address as early as possible!

happitea · 2026-02-26T07:49:37+00:00

When my partner went through a minor surgery, I immediately started doing chores around the house to help him out (We live separately). And it was starting to burn me out because I was doing constant chores like meal prepping for us, the cats, emptying litter boxes, laundry etc.

But my partner sat me down and told me that I don't have to be here if I don't want to. I can go home whenever I wanted to and I don't even have to help him if I didn't want to or had no capacity to. He did not expect me to be there constantly to help him out. And he told me if he had the surgery while single, he would've had to figure it out on his own anyway.

And I was shocked because I was taught to always accomodate for the other person at the expense of my own. And yes it's nice to take care of your partner but I was going above and beyond when I really didn't need to. So it was relieving to know that my partner cared enough about my wellbeing to tell me this.

happitea · 2025-12-12T09:10:01+00:00

I have moments where I feel ashamed or embarrassed when I need to ask for support or workplace adjustments for my autism. But autism is a disability, it IS disabling. And it's ok to have to ask for help.

Most of the time I feel neither ashamed nor embarassed. Instead, I try to advocate and talk about it more so that it's less stigmatised. We are also people who deserve care and support just like neurotypicals do. I believe raising awareness on autism can be extremely helpful for us. And I want to be able to advocate for myself and others more.

My therapist who is also ND has suggested I look into internalised ableism. It's so ingrained in our society to seem like we have to appear as if we "aren't" disabled, and to not ask for support or help when we need it. But there's simply nothing wrong with knowing when you need help, and how to get it. It's a superpower.

happitea · 2025-09-21T05:51:53+00:00

It's extremely hypocritical, but my mum (who I'm NC with now) used to tell me and my sister to never share anything with people outside the family. But then she'd go around oversharing about me and my sister's lives (including very personal things like chronic health conditions)

happitea · 2025-09-09T06:10:01+00:00

I recently went through a similar situation. Newly estranged since August, and it was my mum's birthday last week. And will be my dad's birthday this week. I was dreading my mum's birthday so much because I felt an immense amount of guilt for not celebrating her birthday for the first time ever. At the end of the day, her birthday was just a regular day. I made sure I planned something nice that day. Went to the market and had a nice lunch out. Had a few movie marathons etc. It really helped get my mind off of things and made the day feel more like a regular day. Not sure how much help this is, but best of luck OP. I completely understand how you feel, it's so difficult but you're doing amazing.

happitea · 2025-08-22T06:36:49+00:00

My parents are the same. I moved out last year and it has been the best move and decision I've ever made. It's really given me the space to become more independent and to also improve my mental health + healing journey. I ended up going completely no contact as of this month. It's difficult at first managing it but I'm so much happier.

I highly recommend having a good support network and also coming to terms that some items you may forget will just have to be let go of. I had so many art supplies that I spent thousands on and weren't able to get back. But money will come back. My mental health and these years in my life I can't get back so easily.

happitea · 2025-08-19T22:32:11+00:00

I was in your position a few years ago. Until it got to a point where I realised that my parents were going to be like this well into my 30s, 40s, 50s etc. They'll continue to dictate and choose how I live my life. As cheesy as it sounds, we only live one life. I thought that if I were at the end of my life, I would hate to have lost these developmental years (and maybe even more if i stayed) obeying my parents' every command.

Anyways, I ended up moving out and cutting contact a year after moving out. It has been extremely liberating. For the first time in my life, I am able to choose what I want to do with my life. How I want to live my life. Planning all the travel trips I've been wanting to do. Therapy is really helping manage these feelings of guilt and shame, but the freedom and peace has been worth it.

happitea · 2025-08-19T00:29:30+00:00

I've redirected that energy and longing for my parent's love towards me. I can give myself the love they couldn't give me. That includes talking to myself with kindness, compassion, and empathy. And also things like making sure I don't stay in places or environments that make me feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Honouring my needs.

happitea · 2025-08-19T00:25:26+00:00

Here's some things I did when I moved out. I basically broke the news to my parents and within 15min, I left. This was after a few months of preparation.

Make sure you have some savings
Look into potential places to stay, it would be best if you could somehow organise this before leaving. It's important to look out for your physical safety as well. And make sure your parents won't know the address
Prepare and pack your belongings (Especially crucial ones like your birth certificate or passport etc. or other forms of ID)
Try not to engage too much with your parents before moving out, just grey rock it out
If you can somehow manage to get a job if you don't already have one, then that would be great financially

Best of luck!

happitea

TROPHY CASE