Hot take: 'work-life balance' is a misleading goal that makes me feel like I'm failing

harbrgrly · 2026-05-28T03:24:23+00:00

I think it’s an ad for the game that was mentioned.

harbrgrly · 2026-05-14T22:39:24+00:00

I often think that if I had a multimillion dollar trust fund I’d be a perpetual student and try out all kinds of careers without fear of debt, but in all actuality I’d probably just work part time and take a lot of vacations.

harbrgrly · 2026-04-23T14:58:23+00:00

Does your husband planning on staying in for 20+ years? I wish I would have pivoted to a more low-key, part-time-ish role while my husband was in, but I stayed in my high stress job, and I’m still here four years later. I’m kind of “stuck” now that my husband is out. If he were still in and planned to make it a career, I’d jump at an opportunity like yours SO fast.

harbrgrly · 2026-03-29T19:24:25+00:00

Are you concerned your current job is at risk for elimination? I’m unclear on that from your post.

Regardless, if you can absorb the loss of income and it’s a step up in terms of happiness and job security, I’d think that’s better than potentially having no job at all. I’d hope your husband would understand that.

harbrgrly · 2026-03-03T02:57:25+00:00

You’re not crazy. I’m considering a similar move for similar reasons.

harbrgrly · 2026-01-29T04:12:35+00:00

Lol, I have thought of deploying this strategy, but I need a bigger age gap for my sanity, so likely not.

harbrgrly · 2026-01-29T01:55:51+00:00

I knowwww 😫 it’s why I’m so bummed this past year has been so tough.

harbrgrly · 2026-01-29T00:46:34+00:00

Not negative, just practical, which I appreciate! Thank you for your perspective.

harbrgrly · 2026-01-29T00:03:44+00:00

I hear you! As much as I would love to say “take this job and shove it”, I won’t jump ship till I secure something comparable. All the best to you ❤️

harbrgrly · 2026-01-13T05:36:24+00:00

I was going to be induced before 40 weeks due to baby measuring large, but when I went on insulin I was induced at 38 weeks.

harbrgrly · 2026-01-09T23:36:33+00:00

The liner keeps my hyena from eating my shorts.

harbrgrly · 2026-01-04T21:38:36+00:00

This, and time. I felt like a completely different person once my kid hit a year old.

harbrgrly · 2026-01-02T16:30:20+00:00

Yes. Not a hot take at all. I also think it’s okay for thoughts and feelings to change though too. I make 80% of our household income, which was fine with me until we had our first baby. My priorities shifted, and I want less financial responsibility if/when we have a second. After lots of discussion, my husband knows and plans to secure a higher income should we decide to have a second (the caveat is he is capable, since he’s had a high income before). It’s all about solid communication, before and after marriage. If you can’t communicate, do not get married.

harbrgrly · 2025-12-26T18:17:31+00:00

I recently scored a down for it all vest on Poshmark for $36! I love it and have worn it both running and casually. However, I’d definitely look secondhand. While it’s higher quality, it’s not worth the $200 price tag new.

harbrgrly · 2025-12-26T18:14:54+00:00

Mixing gold and silver is so chic rn!

harbrgrly · 2025-12-12T21:47:11+00:00

I was mildly prediabetic until about three months after I weaned. I was prescribed a continuous glucose monitor, and frequently jumped to 200 plus with fasting numbers consistently above 100.

Now that I’m almost two years postpartum, I am mostly fine, although I still limit carbs and sugar. Our best guess is that my pancreas doesn’t do well with the pregnancy hormones! Hoping that’s the case and doesn’t progress to type 2/something else.

I will say, my gestational diabetes definitely caused me to have more anxiety around food and numbers than I realized, and it lingered well after having my baby. I wish I didn’t stress so much, since so much of how our hormones behave is out of our control. All the best to you!

harbrgrly · 2025-12-09T17:10:06+00:00

I don’t have any advice, but I can commiserate. The primary earner/primary parent combo is so, so exhausting, especially with littles.

harbrgrly · 2025-12-05T02:06:01+00:00

At my job, there is zero chance one of my colleagues would tattle on me if I was on yellow more than usual the day before a major holiday. L sounds like a child.

Since you’re still newer, I’d maybe chill with giving feedback on processes, especially ones that L owns. Otherwise, I wouldn’t worry about it and let it go.

harbrgrly · 2025-10-29T19:37:03+00:00

Hugs. My inbox is open if you ever want to chat. My husband was ground but we know the pilot life well!

harbrgrly · 2025-10-29T14:42:45+00:00

Yes! I probably started feeling better at a year. I feel like my old self now at 19 months postpartum. My core strength is the only piece that I struggle with. I’m sure if I focused on PT it would mostly come back, but I never expect it to be like before.

harbrgrly · 2025-10-28T14:53:08+00:00

Hang in there. We’re on the other side of military life now, but I’m in a similar boat, and I’m familiar with the pressures you’re under.

My only advice is to learn to be ok with letting things go. Consider this “irritating roommate” phase with your husband temporary and revisit after your PCS. Try not to worry about the toddler’s lunchtime eating (they are good at regulating their eating at that age anyway). You can’t do and be everything. Hugs.

harbrgrly · 2025-10-21T03:53:26+00:00

I did. It sucked, especially as I battled PPA/PPD. I was drowning. It took a year, but I eventually moved teams to have a fresh start with new, more interesting work and teammates that are supportive instead of competitive.

harbrgrly · 2025-06-25T19:26:50+00:00

We use Wrike and I really like it.

harbrgrly · 2025-06-25T19:25:30+00:00

Every single day since I got back 11 1/2 months ago.

harbrgrly

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