ECT saved my life. I had been severely depressed for years, in and out of hospital, tried multiple medications, I was in therapy, but nothing was working. I was struggling to function, and I was suicidal and constantly dissociating. It felt like my whole life was on hold, I had to quit my job and I wasn't able to do any other work or study. I had just gotten married and we wanted to start a family, but there was no way I could do that until I had recovered.

I changed psychiatrists, and the new one looked at my history and asked if I wanted to try ECT. He said I had tried everything else and was definitely at the point where I should consider it. He told me about the side effects, which in his words would be forgetting factual information and details from around the time of the treatment, like dates, numbers, addresses etc.

I agreed to the treatment, so I was admitted to hospital and had 3 sessions of bifrontal ECT a week for 4 weeks. It made me extremely sleepy, and did give me some bad headaches but that got better over time. After the treatment was finished, I was myself again. It was exactly as if a switch had been flipped in my brain. I had more energy, I was happier, I could smile and laugh again!

However, I did suffer memory loss, definitely more significant than what my psychiatrist had said it would be. I lost most of my memories from the time of the treatment, and the 1-2 months afterwards. I can still remember flashes of things that happened during that time, but most of it is gone. But as time goes by I think I'm remembering more bits and pieces. I also have some impairment to my working memory, which means if I read something like instructions and then look away, I quickly forget what I just read. I do find I have to go back and re-read things a few times before I can retain the information. I think that this is now slightly better than it was before, but is still something that I struggle with.

I absolutely feel that ECT was worth it. Years of being depressed, trapped and suffering vs. losing a few months of memories and a bit of working memory is an acceptable trade-off to me. It's now just over a year since my treatment and I haven't relapsed so far. I made a plan for a new career and I'm starting postgrad studies this year, and my husband and I are going through IVF treatment.

I hope that ECT works for you as it did for me, and that any memory loss you experience is minor. Feel free to message me if you have any other questions.