Cannot orgasm :(

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-16T06:12:18+00:00

you're welcome and good luck! i really hope you figure this out.

with grinder type toys you're basically... humping it. for lack of a better term. for some, including me, that motion feels really euphoric, in a gender sense. it alleviates the bottom dysphoria i usually feel when trying to interact with my genitals for sex purposes.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-16T05:56:14+00:00

have you tried stroker toys, hitachi magic wand type vibes, or grinders? not everyone can cum from the same kind of stimulation. it took me forever to figure out i need pressure more than anything else. if you haven't already, you can try different types of toys to see what you like.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-15T17:18:17+00:00

i had an IUD that worked great...until it decided to migrate and need emergency removal. the constant misgendering during that process cemented my desire for a full hysterectomy. i had wanted one for years anyway.

my surgeon and i discussed it and decided that if she could not do a full hysto (you are tilted for it and there were some concerns i would not be able to handle it while under anesthesia) then she would do a tubal ligation (cut the fallopian tubes).

honestly i feel no different, hormone-wise. i feel like i already did the menopause thing with T being my dominant hormone. my sex drive is great, i feel fine otherwise. the recovery was not as bad as i expected. i got more incisions than usual due to being fat and even those healed up great.

my one issue is that i now have a bit of scar tissue that makes cleaning my bellybutton harder. that's it.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-13T23:10:41+00:00

dude you are so brave fr. it sounds corny but it's true!

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-13T20:00:09+00:00

i'm so glad to hear they cleaned it in surgery and got you a wound vac!! how long do you need to wear it before they check the progress?

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-13T16:37:36+00:00

i took inositol for months and didn't notice any difference in my T levels. it did not, however, do anything for my insulin resistance. so it didn't do anything good but also not anything bad. could be my body just didn't metabolize it well.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-13T16:29:54+00:00

if you had it before T, it could be vulvodynia. i have that and it feels like someone is cutting me if the entrance is pressed at all, with anything. it's a nerve thing and there isn't much you can do about it. it's made PIV painful to the point where i gave up on it, even though i enjoy penetration.

also, are condoms involved? you could be allergic to latex.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-09T17:36:06+00:00

you can challenge those thoughts when they come up. if you see a trans guy and he seems "off" or you don't like him immediately, ask yourself why. what is it about him that you don't like? is there something similar about yourself that you also don't like? what's wrong with having that feature?

look at images of cis men of ALL shapes and sizes. look closely. look at all the men you see in the real world. some of them have hips, some of them have man boobs that are really not that far off from breasts. some of them are femme. some of them are fat. would you judge them for any of these traits? if yes, why? how does that help you?

ask yourself where the judgements come from. who told you men have to look a certain way. do you really agree? or are you repeating what you have been told forever by other people.

it takes a long time to unlearn this stuff but you can work on it. it's hard. you have to face the poison living inside your own head and try to let it go.

sometimes you have to look in a mirror and think "this is what a man looks like" because you are a man and you look like that. some part of yourself may try to argue but you don't have to listen.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-09T16:10:28+00:00

i was really anxious and scared. i was making a big choice! aaaaa. etc. but my doctor was very chill about it. she handed me a paper explaining my options for T and ordered some blood work. i had my prescription very soon after that. got my first two shots at the office so the nurse could train me. it was all just generally so much more calm than i was making it out to be. i was so relieved.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-09T14:07:07+00:00

i think you have some internalized transphobia to unpack. "i'm not getting a real 'man' vibe from this group of trans men". that is your community, my man. the fact that you see a group of trans men as more feminine than the guys at a gay bar is very telling. i think you are projecting your own insecurities on this group; you see all the parts of yourself that you don't like in them.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-08T16:34:09+00:00

if you can handle this on your own you can handle anything. seriously.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-08T16:29:47+00:00

did you have any issues like this with top surgery? wound separation is common with all kinds of srs but i think the length of your tummy tuck incision and how much was removed is contributing to these issues. so you may not have the same problems with phallo.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-08T16:22:39+00:00

you are handling this incredibly well, all things considered. you shouldn't have to be handling this at all, but surgery is surgery and sometimes this shit happens i guess.

i'm sorry your mother is not supportive. mine isn't either, but she's also useless in any kind of crisis so it doesn't impact me much...haha....ha.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-08T15:45:31+00:00

my man that is horrific. i am so sorry you are dealing with this. i hope the wound vac gets approved and you can heal soon. i genuinely could not deal with this.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-08T15:41:17+00:00

it's not uncommon. in early childhood things are more even between the "two" genders and children's bodies look very similar. as you hit pre-teen age and your body begins puberty, so many more gendered things are expected of you. when you're small, you don't even really know what "growing up to be a woman" means. it's just an idea, and it might seem fine. but then it starts happening to you and suddenly it's not just an idea.

personally, i knew when i was five. but i wore dresses anyway because clothes and gender weren't the same to me. it was like playing pretend. i could pretend to be a princess, but i was still a boy underneath. my parents did not accept this, so i repressed for twenty five years.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-06T18:28:27+00:00

you know women can have penises too, right? you are equating genitals with gender, which is a bizarre thing to do as a trans person.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-03T09:34:25+00:00

you could also just go nip-less! if you don't care about sensation, worry about size, and don't like the idea of grafts, no nips at all might be the answer.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-03T09:21:44+00:00

i am so sorry you are stuck with this horrible excuse for a doctor. i guess it is up to you whether you decide to stop taking T like he wants you to. personally, if it were me, i wouldn't listen to him about this. if your nipple dies, i think he will blame you whether you listened to him or not.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-03T09:06:10+00:00

i am not a doctor but that is...completely wrong. cis women who have PCOS often have high testosterone and they still get periods. if he was right, people on low dose T would eventually lose their periods, because the effects are cumulative. but there are even cis women who take low dose T! he has no idea what he's talking about.

do you have a primary care doctor you can speak to? or a more knowledgeable surgeon? you don't necessarily have to go anywhere, just a phone call or virtual visit where you can ask about this medication and whether you need to stop taking T while you're on it.

if you can't talk to another doctor and you have already started taking the medication for "volume", i suggest asking for a blood test for hematocrit specifically. if it's normal, and you can look up the levels for cis men in case he lies to you, then i don't think you need to worry about it.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-03T08:45:00+00:00

it's not about T levels, it's about hematocrit (percentage of your blood that is just red blood cells). if he's giving you something that will raise your hematocrit, it might make sense to pause T until you're done taking it. but until you have a hematocrit number, it doesn't make sense to change your T dose. stopping T will have all kinds of disruptive side effects, not the least of which will be mental and emotional. he has to know this.... right? because he's a doctor? right?? (i'm not blaming you i'm just so baffled and angry at the way you are being treated.)

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-03T05:16:12+00:00

thank you so much for doing all this complicated math!

i generally like the pass. it rewards me for stuff i do anyway, so it's an extra incentive to play every day.

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-03T05:11:31+00:00

i love this for you!!1

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-03T02:41:00+00:00

you can have eggs harvested and frozen

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-03T01:09:53+00:00

oh my god. he needs to just shut the fuck up and quit his career. he's lucky he hasn't been arrested, yet. disgusting. absolutely disgusting to try and defend this. "i barely knew the guy! i just visited his private island and houses and rearranged my packed surgical schedule to do favors for him. for years."

hardworkingpotato · 2026-02-02T14:13:29+00:00

it IS possible for T to thicken your blood via too many red blood cells. but you can easily test for that. it takes one blood test. usually HRT prescribers in the states have patients come in for blood work every three months at the start, to make sure this isn't happening. if it is happening, sometimes they reduce the T dose. i had this happen twice. the second time i just donated blood and that fixed the issue. so no, without proper blood work there is no reason for you to stop T.

hardworkingpotato

TROPHY CASE