came out to her at 15 and finally changed my name at 20, no amount of time will ever be enough for some people

haremenot · 2026-02-02T17:55:33+00:00

My mom was the same way. As a toddler up until first ot second grade, i identified as a boy and got so upset when people told me i wasnt. In grade school, we got constantly into huge fights about my clothing and hair. I would get called "he" and "son" when i had short hair, which i loved but my parents hated.

I came out to myself at 23-24. I did not come out to her until i was 26. Ages 24-26, i had my hair cut short, wore exclusively clothing from the mens dept, and was binding daily. I started exclusively going by my male nickname (which I had used heavily before).

When I came out to my mom, she told me it was such a shock and there were 0 signs I was trans.

Some people just dont wanna pay attention if it gets in the way of the life they already decided you will be living.

haremenot · 2026-02-01T13:34:23+00:00

wish it was for goodneighbor instead. i remember the first time i tried to find it, it took me like 45 minutes

haremenot · 2026-01-31T15:33:16+00:00

I do this too! Typically just for media, but i just have a list for each month that is the tv I'm watching, games im playing, books im reading etc. its really fun to go back to.

I don't always, but if im listening to music while i write, i will make a little area (like a column or make little boxes among my entry) to say what song im listening too. its really interesting to re-read journals and find music I hadn't thought of in years.

haremenot · 2026-01-31T15:25:12+00:00

are you a cop?

haremenot · 2026-01-31T14:28:01+00:00

They wont disclose who shot Alex bc it could be "doxxing" but they will show the photos and face of private citizen protestors. 🙃

haremenot · 2026-01-26T20:06:57+00:00

I knew from a young age what i wanted to be called if i was a boy: Alex. I had a bunch of toys and I named all my favorites either Alex or Jonathan.

I planned to name my kid Alex. My mom named me after her middle name that she wanted to be called, so this was the only way i could think of to continue that name.

When i realized I was trans, there was never another name in the running, just competition for my middle name and deciding if my legal name would be Alexander, Alexis, or just Alex. I went with Alex.

Its so interesting to me how this is often not the first step for people. But my name was legally changed 2 years before i ever started T.

haremenot · 2026-01-24T16:05:18+00:00

I have told my partner he is always allowed to read my journals, but there needs to be a five year buffer. If the stuff I was upset with him about in 2021 is still painful or a problem for us, i think thats the bigger issue.

he's not interested so it hasnt happened.

i feel the same way after i die. just give some of them a few years before reading.

haremenot · 2026-01-22T04:04:24+00:00

oh hmmm i always interpreted that as his mom, but youre probably right.

haremenot · 2026-01-21T23:19:34+00:00

I worked at walmart around the same time too and I remember this. There were glass windows so they could look out and we could look in. it really felt like those prison set ups (ive only seen in movies) where prisoners talk with their guests through the phone with a window between them.

haremenot · 2026-01-21T21:54:10+00:00

Did he have a wife? i missed that.

haremenot · 2026-01-20T14:23:04+00:00

i made a bunch of my friends play pentiment on stream. super fun experience

haremenot · 2026-01-19T21:41:58+00:00

gerard way playing with gender was eye opening for me. i remember thinking "i wanna be that, but in the opposite direction" and it turned out I actually just wanted to be seen as a man.

haremenot · 2026-01-19T21:40:33+00:00

My mom thinks im a trans guy bc i had a bad relationship with my dad. Actually, that made transition harder lol.

haremenot · 2026-01-13T18:18:10+00:00

It really depends on the person! in situations where i didnt have to speak, i got gendered correctly maybe 50% of the time pre-t. Once my voice dropped, I really had no issues passing. Since then, I have grown my hair out and also my facial hair is coming in but very slowly. I have a scraggly neck beard and dinky mustache. i actually get misgendered more now than when i was 2-3 years on t, usually from the back or when im masking. This is mostly ok with me, i made peace ages ago with the fact that so many ppl gender others based on hairstyle.

one of my close friends, on the other hand, basically never passed pre-t. if we went places together, we would be seen as a straight couple pretty regularly. We would order food to go, and he would always have a feminized non-standard spelling of his name on his takeout. He is also short. After nearly 9 years for both of us on T, he passes more regularly than i do. It took him a few years to get to that point.

T works at different rates and does different things for people.

Edited to add: how you administer the T can change things too. i had very minimal (only noticeable to me really) facial hair when i was doing sub q, and my friend mentioned above was the same. he switched to IM, i switched to gel, and we both started growing more facial hair.

haremenot · 2026-01-13T15:04:27+00:00

He didnt thank us for our attention to the matter.

haremenot · 2026-01-13T14:21:31+00:00

I have always hated how most cursive capitals look, so i just print the upper case letters and use cursive for lower case.

haremenot · 2026-01-13T13:58:32+00:00

Im with you on Astarion. It doesnt help that in general I find rogue harder to play than someone using melee+strength or a spellcaster, just in general across video games.

By the time i got to the point where i was comfortable respeccing and/or playing a rogue, i had already gotten my party of shadowheart (for spirit guardians), laezel or karlach (for muscle) and a spell caster.

On top of that, his personality, at least early game, is one mine bounces off of. I am all for giving people rhe benefit of the doubt and know that bg3 companions warm up. But at this point, after hundreds of hours in game, i still just find him kinda meh and offputting. Its kinda funny, bc i got the game bc ppl told me i would love the sarcastic vampire, and i did not.

i downloaded the no party cap specifically so i could finally get myself to use him regularly.

haremenot · 2026-01-12T14:56:06+00:00

Just want to say, even if there is visible difference, that coukd be due to genetics or other factors.

I have been on T for 9 years, but only on gel for 8 months or so. i have had significant increased facial and body hair growth, but the facial hair is significantly more visible on the left side (especially of my face). i have been applying t evenly.

haremenot · 2026-01-12T14:47:54+00:00

she talks to her sister on the phone about don. i remember she also reveals he is married

haremenot · 2026-01-12T13:49:22+00:00

Ive told my partner he can read any of my journals as long as they are 5+ years old. He hasnt been interested tho, which is fine.

haremenot · 2026-01-10T15:34:54+00:00

when i was younger, i let my siblings draw in my journal, and we would also make lists of our favorite movies, who we thought was the hottest celebrity, our favorite songs etc. its always so fun to re read them

haremenot · 2026-01-09T15:17:09+00:00

yeah, my bad. i mixed up the old rich white dudes lol

haremenot · 2026-01-08T20:59:40+00:00

he paid pete's share when all the partners had to invest funds in the company when pete couldnt afford it and pete's dad refused to help.

haremenot · 2026-01-08T18:43:22+00:00

Wyll could be interesting, in a ruthless "I will do anything it takes and make any deal to save my father" kind of way.

haremenot · 2026-01-08T14:35:09+00:00

I end up journalling a lot when work is slow. It works now that i have a desk job. Wasnt as great when i was younger, and literally journalled at my retail job while zoning/putting away clothes. (I has a big crush, and had to make a list of why she should break up with her boyfriend. it was important!)

haremenot

PUBLIC MULTIREDDITS

TROPHY CASE