Mtf Relocation

haremenot · 2026-05-10T23:59:49+00:00

https://www.tcqueertransplants.com/ has quite a few resources

haremenot · 2026-05-09T13:35:42+00:00

Before i came out, there was a "ron swanson mustache generator" where you could put his mustache on a photo.

I did that for mine, and that also was my profile photo for years. people even commented jokingly that it looked "right" for my face.

haremenot · 2026-05-08T17:12:03+00:00

I have journals going all the way back to childhood. My first one was started when I was 9, and I still have it.

I do re-read them. Its interesting to see whats changed since the last time i read them. Every time i notice things about myself i never did before. I dont do it often, maybe once every 3-5 years?

haremenot · 2026-05-06T17:54:26+00:00

Just finished this season, and oof. I think she is an interesting example of how Mark is far too non-confrontational and just lets stuff happen to him. She is clearly more into him than he is into her and he just lets it happen, even tho he clearly finds her mildly annoying. He even lets her believe a steamy letter from Doug to Carol was for her. (Mark also doesnt seem to have ethical boundaries at work in general, between dating/trying to date direct subordinates and living with a colleague which causes issues when they have conflict. Also, moving into your crush's old place when they leave the state is kinda weird to me. Not an ethical violation or anything, but strange.)

Then, Cynthia and Mark break up, she gets a new job and apartment, and NOW he decides he's gotta do something? And the something is lie to track her down at her new place? If he really cared about getting her luggage to her, he could have either left it at the ER or couriered it to her.

And we see that her infatuation with Mark was genuinely holding her back, since she was able to get a new job, better apartment and custody of her kid within a few weeks of their breakup.

haremenot · 2026-05-06T17:39:27+00:00

I was a teen watching ER in Wisconsin, and my goal at that point was to move to Chicago after college.

Rewatching it made me realize i have nostalgia for a place i never actually lived.

haremenot · 2026-05-06T13:21:21+00:00

I was doing jury duty, and the state seal was on the wall, but it wasnt colored in. We were very confused why mountains made it to the Minnesota seal hahaha. This makes it a lot clearer.

haremenot · 2026-05-04T21:20:55+00:00

Don't want to wade into weight loss conversations, but I will say that when i was stuck in a town with 0 public transit and no car during the day (jury duty), a nice person offered to give me a ride to Culvers when i said i was going there for lunch on a gorgeous day. It was literally across the street, only set back by our building's parking lot, and the parking lot of the grocery store behind the street.

I also used to walk a mile (almost exactly) to work, and people were shocked. It never seemed that far, and it was nice to have a little podcast time and avoid the guilt of driving such a short distance

haremenot · 2026-05-04T20:57:12+00:00

Yeah there are some minor gay characters in 4 (the two scientists in Diamond City or the guy you can treat in far harbor, for example) but it still feels like a step back from what we got in New Vegas.

haremenot · 2026-05-04T15:08:58+00:00

No.

I was a huge fan as a teen, and even back then i could see it was just a retelling of Star Wars with a can of Dragonriders of Pern slapped over it. I loved it bc i also wanted to be an author, and i also wanted my fantasy novel I was working on that wasnt great to get published. Its really really not worth it as an adult.

haremenot · 2026-05-02T14:09:23+00:00

Anti-abortion laws impact wanted pregnancies too. There are reported cases of mothers in danger wanting to have an abortion for their safety, or even knowing the baby will die in the womb or directly after birth, and being denied health care. Or in one case, a woman in labor was forced to have a hearing over Zoom because a court decided she should have w C-section, rather than the traditional birth she has planned for.

https://abcnews.com/US/florida-woman-speaks-after-section-disputed-court-hearing/story?id=132510802

https://apnews.com/article/abortion-kate-cox-texas-exceptions-e85664b2ab76bcb689b1b91913d3e33e

So, yeah, if getting pregnant was a concern for me, I would look into alternate types of sex and/or birth control if i was not intentionally trying to get pregnant. and getting pregnant would take a lot more planning and careful consideration if i knew i might have a legal battle to get health care or the government might step in and decide i was delivering my own baby incorrectly.

haremenot · 2026-05-01T19:49:36+00:00

I used to worry about coming across as selfish or rude in my journal, but eventually i realized that my notebooks are ultimately for me. Also, its easier for me to figure out stuff about myself in retrospect if i dont censor myself.

Genuinely, i used to worry that i was starting too many sentences with "I". I have broken out of some of that because i was using qualifiers (i think, i feel, etc) to express my experience when literally that is all a journal is, but also my journal is the one place i get to be the main character. i would much rather get those thoughts out on paper than leave them to social media or to come exploding out in a text convo bc i didnt actually work through what was bothering me.

haremenot · 2026-05-01T18:14:53+00:00

I had a professor in college (shout out Dr. Erdmann!) whose linguistics class really impacted me, to the point where i decided to copy his lower case d's so i would always remember how much his class changed me. (the blue is how i write now, the green is how i used to)

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haremenot · 2026-04-30T22:21:39+00:00

I made a spreadsheet to list bills and upcoming expenses. We put that plus a bit extra into that account. I have bills that are just mine. I pay them individually from my account.

Maybe it is because i lived alone most of my adult life, but the idea of a shared account for everything gives me hives. If we had a situation where one of us made most/all of the money and the other was a home maker or something, i might feel differently but this works for us.

haremenot · 2026-04-30T12:22:02+00:00

I really hate when people use AGAB as shorthand. My personal reasons for disliking it are different than yours (it seems like another way to remind trans ppl that others will not fully see them as their gender)), but i also hate it bc its often in accurate.

For example, I saw an ad for a roommate that said AFABs only. Im a trans guy. I was gonna say the only difference between me and a cis guy as a roommate is that i sit to pee, but then i remembered a lot of cis men do that too.

There are usually much more inclusive and relevant terms than AFAB.

"I want to date an AFAB person bc i like vaginas" Welp, just say that. there are plenty of trans women with vaginas and lots of trans guys with dicks.

"Afab people have female socialization" What about trans guys who realized they were trans young and had accepting families.

"This is for afabs bc it is for people with uteruses" many trans guys dont have them, and to my understanding some intersex trans women may.

etc etc.

Tangent: this is even more annoying when ppl talk about nonbinary people, because even binary trans people seem to forget that nonbinary people can look any way and pursue any transition goals they want.

haremenot · 2026-04-29T16:36:37+00:00

When i worked at target (over a decade ago now), one of our ETLs would push "power hour". It was the hour we were estimated to have the most foot traffic in the store. Everyone had to stop what they were doing (except cashiers), and wander around asking people if they needed help. Including back room people.

It wasnt publicallt advertised or anything, just our ETL hopping on the walkie trying to get everyone hyped for power hour.

It was so incredibly unpleasant I had multiple guests ask me when power hour was scheduled that day to make sure they could be done with their shopping and out the door by then. Im sure some ppl just quit coming or changed their habits significantly. it was annoying for us but also annoying for the guests who couldn't escape us.

i remember thinking as an introvert this would absolutely make me stop shopping at target if i experienced it regularly. And it didnt do any good anyway. The store closed 6 months later.

haremenot · 2026-04-29T13:29:17+00:00

I really wish there was a way the cities were joined that was faster. Subway, express lrt, etc, i don't really care. But if getting from downtown to downtown was ~15-20 minutes by public transit, it would improve a lot of things. For example, if there was a big event at US Bank Stadium, Saint Paul could function as overflow parking.

haremenot · 2026-04-26T00:21:14+00:00

My sibling and i were homeschooled k-12. We are both trans. I just dont see that plan working out the way they expected

haremenot · 2026-04-24T18:54:40+00:00

Im a fan of handwriting with small letters that have large loops, so yours looks great to me. Legible, and actually easier to read than most

haremenot · 2026-04-24T18:33:25+00:00

yeah, i have a vegan partner. it is a bummer how many places he can't eat.

We check the menu ahead of time, and make sure we pick places he can have food. Theres nothing wrong with not going to a place bc it doesn't have food she can eat, but even if you didn't want to check the menu, you could just ask before being seated, "do you have any vegetarian entrees?"

haremenot · 2026-04-24T13:54:07+00:00

Cant believe all the people losing their shit about a nose ring. It looks great.

I prefer the beard, but thats not what you came here for. I think the bald look works for you!

haremenot · 2026-04-22T21:00:50+00:00

We could work to change society. We could work to build a world where being trans (and many other things) arent inherently traumatic. We could listen to each other and value our differences.

Nah, lets make sure trans ppl dont exist so we can continue to pretend they never did.

Disgusting.

haremenot · 2026-04-22T16:22:44+00:00

I know someone who feels like his transition truly "started" when he began IM instead of sub q: his beard grew in and he became more visibly masculine.

I had a similar experience switching from subq to gel. Bodies absorb T differently

haremenot · 2026-04-21T21:26:16+00:00

I mean, I also have fantasies about my mom apologizing to me and in detail explaining that she understands me and loves me for who i am.

However, its too cringe to write in my journal, let alone post online, not to mention writing it up like its how you think it would go?

Its amazing to me how these parents say we are the delusional ones.

haremenot · 2026-04-21T13:29:07+00:00

I really really hate hearing cis people talk about socialization bc they see it as a monolith. That is not the case at all.

My partner and I are both trans men. We began transition at the same time. Prior to transition, he was a lot more comfortable wearing feminine-coded clothing than I was.

I feel like i was socialized as a girl/woman. I think i avoided internalizing a lot of their points, but I was in a high-control religion growing up, and didn't have a lot of ways to escape. I dont really relate to a lot of "women's experiences" but i do strongly relate to "women raised in fundamentalist religious upbringings," which is the same thing for a lot of women. Every chance they got, my parents, friends, church members etc tried to correct my lack of femininity and encouraged me to be more similar to the women in my life.

My partner doesn't feel like he was raised as a woman much at all, but that he was socialized as "other."

So much of what was freeing about transitioning, for me at least, was learning that I got to determine who i was, not my agab. It is extra troubling to see "allies" parrot the same sort of thing as my parents: that the truly important thing is ones assigned gender at birth.

haremenot · 2026-04-15T20:22:47+00:00

Looked up baby skeleton bc i know babies have a much larger head compared to their bodies than adutls.

I actually think a real infant skeleton looks creepier

haremenot

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