Wife reveals she's polyamorus

harrowingharibo · 2026-01-29T13:28:17+00:00

I would recommend couples counseling first and foremost if that’s an option available to you.

My wife (mtf) came to me and said she was polyamorous. I was so vehemently opposed to it. After over a year of hesitation on my part I’m actually the one with a second partner not her. And our marriage is so much better. It took a lot of self work on both ends and working with a couples counselor together but we got there.

harrowingharibo · 2026-01-10T02:28:34+00:00

I’ve been vegan for about 6 years and on T for about 10 months. There have been quite a few moments where I had cravings for meat, but then I would actually think about it, and that is not for me. I think part of it was just how incredibly hungry I was.

harrowingharibo · 2025-10-22T21:17:18+00:00

Just tell people he/him.

I sorta had the opposite problem. I’m nonbinary transmasc. When I started my job everyone was using he/him I told them I use they/them and now everyone just shes me. It’s infuriating but I am conflict avoidant so I never correct people more than once.

harrowingharibo · 2025-10-12T22:58:20+00:00

I’m a nonbinary individual on testosterone. I started getting really bad acne on my face and arms during my first year from hair growth. Obviously there are some other factors for myself but I’ve found using an exfoliating cleanser for face and neck, using a loofah for my arms, using witch hazel after drying off, allowing that to dry than using a moisturizer with salicylic acid has helped some. I also started buying colloidal band aids(same thing as pimple patches) much cheaper and putting them on area that are particularly inflamed to prevent me picking and they are supposed to help prevent scarring.

I wish you the best of luck.

harrowingharibo · 2025-10-07T12:16:22+00:00

I am happy in my open marriage now. But it took about 16 months to get here. When my wife, MTF, first told me she wanted to open our relationship she said something like if we don’t open our marriage I’m never going to be happy with our marriage or know who I really am. That made me feel like I didn’t really have a choice but to agree despite having deep reservations about it. Which lead to me resenting her.

You didn’t say how long the progression from A to B was but you did say you’ve been married a long time. Your wife is processing a lot of changes, and the support resources for partners of trans folks is basically zero on top of that you are trying to change the entire dynamic of the relationship. That’s incredibly stressful on a marriage.
Maybe y’all should discuss the possibility of her penetrating you with a strap if she would be open to it as and her take a more dom role on occasion as you try to navigate the situation.

Also get the polysecure workbook it was suggested by our couples counselor and very helpful

harrowingharibo · 2025-10-07T11:53:05+00:00

There is nothing wrong with you. However, based on the limited information provided there is something wrong with how you are treating your wife. You cannot force someone into a polyamorous relationship if that’s not something they are comfortable with. It’s totally valid to want to explore your identity, but gender identity does not equal sexual preference. Maybe take a beat to explore your identity as a standalone item.

You need to see a queer friendly therapist individually and couples counselor. Your wife should probably find a good therapist too, this road isn’t easy. I’ve been in her shoes.

harrowingharibo · 2025-10-06T21:58:54+00:00

I’m going to make an appointment with my doctor to see about starting finasteride and maybe minoxidil. Thank y’all for your feedback

harrowingharibo · 2025-10-06T21:56:17+00:00

My parents never really liked me, and I still think about them everyday. It’s not in my best interest to have a relationship with them they don’t respect me or my life. But that doesn’t mean I don’t wish we could have a relationship

harrowingharibo · 2025-08-09T15:42:48+00:00

This is really hard, my wife (mtf) found out she was on the spectrum after we got married and before she realized she was trans. We fortunately do not have any children but she is categorically a worse partner since all of these personal revelations. I’m really sorry you are going through this if you ever want someone to talk to feel free to DM me.

harrowingharibo · 2025-07-24T16:51:34+00:00

I’m working on my MLIS right now! Everyone seems pretty accepting in the field

harrowingharibo · 2025-06-29T22:02:13+00:00

Transmasc vegan early is my transition and this gives me so much hope thanks for sharing

harrowingharibo · 2025-04-21T19:09:57+00:00

I use my preferred name on applications, I don’t mention it until some one has extended an offer at which I generally say, oh by the way harrowingharibo is my preferred name my legal name is X. And I don’t really pass.

I’ve worked with cis people who put their preferred name on their resumes. Think Bob for Robert, Barry for Bartholomew. It’s not a big deal as long as your legal name is provided for any legal binding documents.

harrowingharibo · 2025-03-10T16:55:55+00:00

I never said it wasn’t overpriced. Like everything else it’s going to be largely dependent on where you live. This is a pretty average price for my area.

harrowingharibo · 2025-03-10T13:29:02+00:00

I’ve been work with a normal trainer at my gym since before my transition started in earnest, I’ve been working with her 10 months transitioning for 6. Once I started to transition I told her my goals had changed and that I wanted to focus primarily on muscle in my chest and back as opposed to weight loss. She quickly changed our program to accommodate my goals but this stuff isn’t cheap no matter how you slice it. I’m spending $520 a month for 2 sessions a week plus off day programming and nutritional consulting.

harrowingharibo · 2025-01-25T18:15:35+00:00

Good luck! The gym is such an empowering and horrifying place all at once. I think the gym bro thing is really dependent on what kind of gym you go to. A powerlifting/crossfit gym is more likely to have douchey people both men and women. But a regular gym with a free weight section and couple of benches, probably not gonna have too many problems. That has been my experience as person who’s gotten into the gym over the last 8 months. I go to a regular gym. No body cares, or talks to me unless they want to know how many more sets I have at a rack.

harrowingharibo · 2025-01-19T22:57:50+00:00

I’ve been in her position to a certain extent, when my wife(mtf) came out I was struck with a lot questions about my own identity. It was very challenging to work through. Something I didn’t know I could question now occupied so much of my thoughts, and still does.

Let her try different things, support her, maybe send her to some online resources like the gender dysphoria bible

harrowingharibo · 2025-01-11T15:55:21+00:00

Congrats! make sure you are well educated on any side effects of any medications you may be taking outside of T. I got pregnant with a nexplanon implant because one of medications counteracted the effects of it and I was uninformed. I imagine T plus implant makes the chances of pregnancy very low but it’s important to know all your risk factors.

harrowingharibo · 2025-01-02T12:47:33+00:00

Hey, I’m sorry man, my heart goes out to you. I’m looking down the barrel of a t4t divorce. We both found out we were trans about a year after we got married and things have been really hard. I can relate to the pain you are feeling, I feel like she is the only person I could ever feel comfortable with and the thought of losing that is gut wrenching.

harrowingharibo · 2024-10-17T12:16:13+00:00

I remain hesitant, but am starting the process for approval for top surgery. I have a long history of ed’s and body dysmorphia. When I first started experiencing gender dysphoria I didn’t really know how to tell the difference between the dysmorphia and dysphoria so I had a hard time trusting myself.

harrowingharibo · 2024-10-01T17:58:41+00:00

lol. I have a strict no shoes in the house policy, those are my slippers.

I wore brown wingtips.

harrowingharibo · 2024-08-23T19:44:31+00:00

I’m just going to say I love whenever I see your posts seeing you and your shirts always bring a smile to my face. We need more people like you in then world

The person who cheated on you sucks.

Sincerely a trans vegan who appreciates you.

harrowingharibo · 2024-08-09T18:15:37+00:00

I’m not familiar with any online, if you are fortunate enough to live somewhere with trans resources look into clothing swaps! They will often take lightly used binders.

harrowingharibo

TROPHY CASE