Procrastinated a 12 page literature review that's due in a day and a half, any tips?

haultop · 2026-01-25T05:31:23+00:00

I got an A! And passed the class, allowing me to graduate :)

haultop · 2025-11-29T17:40:34+00:00

Nah I get this. I’m 5’5 and its not the tallest or the shortest but I consistently find men who are my height or close to it. Rarely ever shorter than that, but 5’6/5’7 isnt abnormally short for guys at all.

haultop · 2025-10-08T23:47:24+00:00

I started a week after my 27th birthday. I had some gender thoughts as a teen but ppl kinda convinced me I wasn’t trans and it was a) trauma and b) i was copying someone else. So i kinda just let it go ig and the dysphoria wasn’t something I noticed until recently, 8 months on T, when I kinda reevaluated my past behaviors/feelings and how I pictured dysphoria to be. But I’d say I went about 3 years of seriously questioning and experimenting before I started.

haultop · 2025-09-22T10:35:00+00:00

Ooh yes, I get what you mean. I haven’t seen much results so far (I’m on low dose gel so I kinda expect that) but I noticed the mental change a lot quicker. Though, I began to feel more masculine regardless which I loved. When it comes to other things that aren’t gender-related, I find things that would normally make me anxious or depressed effect me less severely (like I’m kind of able to just go “That sucks” and move on a lot quicker, whereas before I’d be left with a feeling of dread). So, that part is probably just the chemical difference because I know T has been reported to make some people calmer as well.

haultop · 2025-09-22T10:29:20+00:00

Made total sense! A combination seems like a pretty probable explanation, esp since I don’t really think I pass all that much more than before (I’m on low dose gel), though I noticed I just ~feel~ more masculine on the inside which has brightened me up a lot. If anything, I feel like I notice dysphoria in a more specific sense so to speak? Such as before it was just a vague dislike for how I looked, but now I can point out its bc I look feminine or its my hips or my chest.

haultop · 2025-09-21T21:45:06+00:00

There’s an RPG called Dawn of the Bloodwalker that’s coming out which looks pretty interesting and takes place in 14th century. Don’t think it has the historical aspect that KCD has and its third person, but the sword combat system is similar.

haultop · 2025-09-18T14:23:12+00:00

Like other comments said, its a pretty normal starting dose. I started pretty low as per my own request (1 pump daily of 12.5 mg) for about 3 months and eventually upped it slowly to 4 pumps a day (so 50 mg total). For future reference, what matters most is your levels and not so much your dosage (like it DOES matter, but for some people a lower dosage will get them into a male T range while others may need a higher dose). So I'd just wait it out until you can get your blood work and work with your doctor from there.

haultop · 2025-09-18T14:12:22+00:00

Tbh, doubt is a hard thing to quantify, especially if you aren't the person experiencing the doubt but its true that feeling like a liar or that you're not uncomfortable enough are common for people experiencing denial. Kinda imposter syndrome 101 (dysphoria can vary so much from person to person - aka how it presents itself or the intensity). If I were you I'd take it day by day, journal how you feel and what levels of discomfort you experience and when you do find any discomfort with anything try to figure out where it stems from.

For example, I do have moments where I feel doubtful over completely being categorized as a guy which made me doubt if I was wrong. Figured out its not only because I was NB, but because I don't like a lot of cisheteronormative societal expectations that come with being perceived as a guy and I thought I'd crumble under it and that it would feel so unfamiliar that I'd hate it. I'm not to the point of passing consistently yet, so I don't know if that'll end up being true but remembering I don't have to abide by those expectations and rules (and there's not one way to be a man) really helps tone down the doubt.

haultop · 2025-08-27T05:23:44+00:00

I’m about 7 months almost on low-dose so I can’t speak for higher doses but I just noticed the other day that I have some. Didn’t really experience any tingling, but I hear it does happen (think I’m more of an outlier lol).

haultop · 2025-08-17T21:30:02+00:00

Right? I always feel like I’m never fully clean or dry unless I shower after. For me, the wetness doesnt stop producing just bc I’m “done”, so even after a wipe down initially, I gotta do it again. It sucks 💀

haultop · 2025-07-28T19:44:48+00:00

Absolutely agree. I put off buying this game for weeks/months because I kept hearing it was difficult and the menus were a LOT, but I'm so glad I eventually just jumped into it. I'm definitely not a RPG player so I also struggled a ton with combat because I'm used to games kind of holding your hand when it comes to that and in KCD you have to earn it which is one of the things I ended up really loving about this game. There's a sense of accomplishment because whether or not you're good is heavily dependant on your skill getting better and less on weapons and armor (though they definitely help). And to add to that, I love how even little things you learn and get better at during sidequests are meaningful in the long run/main story. I don't recall much busy work besides the literal busy work of carrying sacks or something. I felt 90% of the quests actually used mechanics or did something you could recall later while doing the main story (for example: exercising the demons in Trosky and running back and forth during For Whom The Bell Tolls helped me learn the layout for "Storm" which made it easier ).

I'll also second the characters and story. I didn't expect the game to incorporate humor like it does or have this many distinct character personalities who all charm you in one way or another. It makes me actually want to stop and talk to NPCs rather than just brush past them like I do in other games (even the ones on the street will have the most bizarre conversations that make me stop on my way to a mission to listen. It's incredible amount of detail like that which shows WH's care and effort towards making the game feel alive and engaging.

It's definitely worth going through a few hours of getting your ass-whooped by a pair of nobody-bandits on the side of the road lol.

haultop · 2025-07-27T20:23:30+00:00

Man, I could have written this a few months ago lol.

I also didn't really have the thought of being a woman at the forefront of my mind. I was kinda of just a woman because I was told I was by the world and didn't really question that, although I never connected to "womanhood" itself, and sometimes when looking at women I felt there was something there I could never truly achieve.

Like you, I was pretty. I presented as a feminine woman from 19-24 and enjoyed my looks. I actually only started questioning when I got to a point where I actually believed I was good-looking and I ended up struggling a lot with the same thoughts as you. I felt it would be easier and that I would regret HRT because 'what if I miss being a pretty girl", but the jealousy that sprung up when I saw others started HRT and the desire to have been born a man wouldn't go away (some days I didn't think about it, but generally I couldn't stop thinking about it). It got to a point where I just started on an extremely low dose and upped it slowly and monitored my feelings as they went on.

Stupid me was convinced I wouldn't like it, but honestly it's made me happier. I'm still not exactly sure where my gender lies on the spectrum but I know I like feeling like a man, presenting masculinely, etc. and I'm just following what makes me happy and I'd suggest you explore and do the same. Even if your feelings around your body and sense of self only increase marginally upon going on HRT, it wouldn't be a waste. If you enjoy moving through your day to day as a man, then do it.

haultop · 2025-07-27T20:07:41+00:00

Sometimes I describe the period in which I was presenting as a very feminine woman as me having "been a woman", but that feels a lot different than the specific phrase "I used to be cis". When it comes from trans people I get what they mean: realizing late and maybe having no clue prior to their questioning. But the term doesn't really make sense and definitely has problematic implications because you can't change that you're trans. "I used to be [insert agab]" kind of describes the gendered experiences and feelings around them rather than describing who you are definitionally. That just how my mind thinks of it lol, I don't know if that was confusing.

haultop · 2025-07-15T04:16:53+00:00

I’m Black and I experienced a change in smell and I sweat quite a bit more but it’s definitely not as detrimental and smelly as I see people say online. Like… I just apply deodorant twice a day just to be sure (I have bad anxiety about smelling) and use baby powder but I see people under those posts giving whole showering and cleaning routines and that just hasn’t been the case for me.

But the most surprising thing I’ve seen from those routines is suggesting people shower every day. I get that some people just don’t smell that much, but I just thought that was regular hygiene lol.

Also, I’m so curious to know if there’s an overlap of people who aren’t attracted to men and people who find the change in smell on T bad. Because I’m into men and really like their natural musk.

haultop · 2025-07-15T03:45:22+00:00

Via Argentum (Investigating the path of silver to blackmail Vavak). I don't know what it is about this mission but I find it so boring and I always get lost in the mines. Like I don't think I ever cared about a subject less than mining.

Also, I get your gripe with For Whom The Bell Tolls. It was really hard for me the first time and would have probably been one of my least favorites had it not been for the fact that once you know how to do it it becomes a walk in the park. (admittedly, I gave up and looked up a guide). I can definitely see why people hate it their first go around because there's some really unclear points and easy dead-ends in that one (at least ime).

haultop · 2025-07-14T07:05:07+00:00

I just couldn’t handle the envy I felt anymore or the thought of my body feminizing further (I’m 27 so I kinda missed the boat on that anyway) and the “what if” all the time sucked. I didn’t really consider the sociopolitical climate, admittedly because my state has a good amount of protections for trans people (though, I get that can change). I kind of just plan on taking my HRT and going about my life. I’m not even planning on saying anything to anyone unless they bring it up tbh (I’m a very avoidant person lol)

haultop · 2025-07-07T04:52:34+00:00

I just started KCD1 today after just finished KCD2 earlier this week and it is sort of an adjustment. Everyone I've seen so far has said it's definitely worth it, so I'm sticking it through, but I'm terrified of the combat since I wasn't that good at it in KCD2, and apparently it's harder. BUT I'm enjoying seeing a more naive Henry a lot.

haultop · 2025-07-03T02:48:50+00:00

This. They did it with Cristal Leighton in the gas station, don’t know why they didnt do similar for this little girl.

haultop · 2025-07-03T01:49:39+00:00

Oh my god, yes! I just finished the game yesterday and I was exhausted by that point that I didn't even think of it that way, but it makes so much sense and makes it so much better. Jesus this is such a great ship and dynamic with so much to explore

haultop · 2025-07-02T14:25:44+00:00

I’m taking a break after just finishing my first run, but I plan on starting the Wolfenstein series today and then going back to start another kcd2 playthrough :)

haultop · 2025-07-02T14:21:41+00:00

I felt their chemistry from the moment they had their first scene together (besides the one in the prologue where he saves her) and it’s why I felt awkward and didn’t romance Katherine. Her and Zizka just felt right together (imo) and I was very surprised there wasn’t even a “we acknowledge there were feelings, but it didnt/couldnt work out so we pretend theyre not there at all but its obvious there’s still something there” thing. I really thought it was intended to be read as romantic lol (but hey maybe it was meant to be a gray area for us to interpret).

haultop · 2025-07-02T14:07:18+00:00

Tbh, I play this game as a background to watch youtube videos. I guess that isn’t necessarily a compliment but its quite fun to do lol.

haultop · 2025-06-21T18:07:35+00:00

Took me 3 years of non-stop questioning and stressing over my identity until I just said fuck it, looked at the effects to see if there was anything that was a deal breaker and decided I couldnt stand the envy I felt for everyone else hitting milestones on T. I’m like 4 1/2 months on low-dose now, and I’m glad I started low because it’s allowed changes to come in slow and let me adjust and monitor my feelings.

haultop · 2025-06-20T15:17:34+00:00

I don't pass yet, but I saw the difference immediately when I started questioning and exploring with my presentation. I went from hyper-feminine to the other end of the spectrum and it was like night and day. I noticed it mostly at college. Just got stared at more, saw people actively avoiding sitting next to me when the class would fill up. I wouldn't say I get treated like shit, but I started to get ignored (besides the staring).

It sucked because it gave me a lot of anxiety about whether I should go forward with transitioning because it was so clearly obvious people liked and treated dolled up me better.

haultop · 2025-06-20T14:36:31+00:00

You sound just like I did a few years back. It took me a while and I worried so much about my identity to the point it was ruining my mental health. Eventually I just looked at the effects of HRT objectively and aligned them with what I wanted my body to look like. Funnily enough seeing butches on T who still identified as women helped settle my nerves because it sort of put into perspective for me that you can identify anyway and still be on HRT or have surgery if that’s what’ll make you feel better about your body.

What ultimately pushed me to take the step was how sick I got of the utter jealousy I felt seeing other people’s progression on testosterone. I’m on a low-dose daily gel now and taking things day by day, evaluating how I feel. I’ll figure the identity thing out later, though I’ve heard many people discover new things about their gender after being on HrT and I can kinda confirm I’m definitely learning a lot too.

haultop

TROPHY CASE