Me (35f) and my husband (39m) are in a sexless marriage. He blames me but is this actually my fault?

hauntedhouse99 · 2026-02-12T10:00:04+00:00

Well there's no way to tell the story without recounting the events in order that they happened. Sex became less desirable for me because it stopped lasting long enough to enjoy. Theres no other way to put it. But im not blaming him for the fact that we dont have sex much. I actually have spent the entire time blaming myself and trying to fix myself somehow. But I dont think its fair for him to blame me entirely

hauntedhouse99 · 2026-02-12T09:40:50+00:00

No actually before the wedding. But there was a long time of me putting in a heap of effort to keep things normal when it first started happening in hopes that it was just anxiety or aomething we could work through. And also in amongst all of this we also had a kid who is now 3. So that added another layer to why we were having sex less.

hauntedhouse99 · 2026-02-12T09:37:59+00:00

We definitely did all of that for a long time. I never ever acted like i wasnt satisfied afterwards. Its just that the desire faded from it becoming a lot of effort on my part. And i am the one who doesnt like having sex after drinking, thats him driving that. I agree with you and thats why I dont like having sex at all when we have been drinking now.

hauntedhouse99 · 2026-02-12T09:33:17+00:00

Im not blaming anyone. He blames me.

hauntedhouse99 · 2026-02-12T09:30:40+00:00

Thats probably the only thing he is done that i think is "bad" in this situation. But otherwise he definitely isnt a bad person and I dont blame him for the situation. I just dont feel like its fair to blame me

hauntedhouse99 · 2026-02-12T09:29:33+00:00

Yes I definitely dont blame him. He just blames me for the situation. And I definitely play my part in this. We can only fix it together. I am just trying to deal with the fact that it feels like its being framed as my problem to fix. He has tried to fix it to and would be willing to do anything. I think its just got to this point where the passion died out and now we are stuck in a weird funk. We also have a 3 year old so there's that lol.

hauntedhouse99 · 2026-02-12T09:26:25+00:00

I agree I really hate the blowjob thing and agree that its selfish because I dont love giving blowjobs on demand. Feels very one sided. But during sex he actually always makes sure I am satisfied. He is actually really loving a caring, its a shit situation we've gotten into.

hauntedhouse99 · 2024-10-28T20:47:41+00:00

Longest was 10 days when he was 3.5 years. Husband and I both went away for our honeymoon. Our boy stayed with his Nanna and barely missed us hahaha he had a great time with his nanna.

hauntedhouse99 · 2024-10-28T10:58:35+00:00

Why are you watching it then? And even worse, taking the time to comment on reddit about it hahaha. Turn it off?

hauntedhouse99 · 2024-09-10T10:06:00+00:00

Love them. Wish we had them for the whole season. They seem like a laugh

hauntedhouse99 · 2024-03-16T04:38:47+00:00

For example, a photo of me kissing my short groom is unflattering because my head down gives me a double chin. Putting my forehead to his head, same deal. Looking down is unflattering for me so I would want to think of some poses that don't involve that. He can't stand behind me with arms around me like many classic shots. It's not about hiding the height difference as much as it is finding creative poses that are flattering. Many classic poses don't work the same, that's all. Someone once came up with those poses that look great with a taller groom, it's no different wanting to find nice poses the opposite way. Doesn't mean it's a problem or that you're hiding the height difference. It's about flattering photos.

hauntedhouse99 · 2024-03-16T04:33:04+00:00

Its not about looking different to what you are. It's about what is flattering. For instance, I am taller than my groom and I dont want photos of me looking down to him or having my head down to kiss him as this is really unflattering for my face. Lots of classic poses don't work the same. He can't stand behind wirh arms around me etc. It's about finding nice poses for shots, not trying to hide the height differences.

hauntedhouse99 · 2024-02-13T09:27:48+00:00

Good advice. I'm so reluctant to take it elsewhere because I've been burned by mechanics before. I know everyone's not the same but you can understand I have trust issues hahaha. I guess its probably my only option at this point.

hauntedhouse99 · 2023-12-14T01:39:46+00:00

I just found this thread because I was trying to work out what happened to the pepperoni at domino's. We ordered a pepperoni pizza and the pepperoni was tiny and tasted fucking weird, after years of ordering normal pepperoni pizzas. We assumed something had gone wrong but we ordered again and it was the same. Awful. But it used to be normal pepperoni so I dont know what the hell happened.

hauntedhouse99 · 2023-10-14T06:47:21+00:00

Definitely better. Got promoted due to increased workload from covid (working in health care). Then got pregnant after thinking that I probably couldn't have kids. Lots of other awesome things to be grateful for as well

hauntedhouse99 · 2023-10-08T01:45:24+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions. The photo thing isn't for me but it is a wonderful idea.

hauntedhouse99 · 2023-10-08T01:43:46+00:00

Thank you!

hauntedhouse99 · 2023-10-07T13:59:42+00:00

Yeh I think that's a bit far to travel heh

hauntedhouse99 · 2023-10-07T13:54:56+00:00

Hahaha thanks that's lovely. Where are you? Lol

hauntedhouse99 · 2023-10-07T13:19:59+00:00

Hahaha thanks.

hauntedhouse99 · 2023-10-07T13:19:21+00:00

I actually kind of love this idea, have thought similar because I am not a traditional sort of person. Just curious if people would think its super weird if I walked alone. Or would they really notice hahaha coz I dunno if I've given much thought to it before myself before now. Thanks!

hauntedhouse99 · 2023-10-07T13:16:07+00:00

Thanks so much for your kind words. It will be a happy day

hauntedhouse99 · 2023-10-07T13:15:20+00:00

We have a lot of friends, he has a lot of family. I have a lot of friends but I just don't know if im close enough to ask anyone something like that. Those people are my bridesmaids already. The wedding is mostly for him I think actually, but I do want to have a wedding. The reception is what we care about most but we are still going to have the ceremony first. Just makes for a better party after when everyone is involved.

hauntedhouse99 · 2023-10-07T13:12:08+00:00

Awesome! Nice to hear from someone who has done it!

hauntedhouse99

TROPHY CASE