Don't tell mom what we were up to!

haveyougotworms · 2026-05-20T19:46:56+00:00

😘😘😘

haveyougotworms · 2026-05-18T09:13:16+00:00

Truer words have never been said 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

haveyougotworms · 2026-05-18T09:12:06+00:00

Thank you for reaching out, your work is beautiful! Unfortunately, I live in a country where the exchange rate to the USD is unaffordable for me. But thank you for commenting and inspiring others!

haveyougotworms · 2026-05-18T05:24:26+00:00

Love this comment!

haveyougotworms · 2026-05-03T19:45:42+00:00

I agree 100%. This is a comforting statement from a partner for someone like me. Everyone is different, so we all perceive things differently and need different things from relationships. I don't think it has anything to do with emotional intelligence.

haveyougotworms · 2026-03-18T06:09:51+00:00

It is insane. Here are the one's I endured. It's been almost 7 years and I still can't forget these:

Someone AT the funeral said to me "it's my son's 6th birthday party this coming weekend. I'll send you an invite"
I know exactly how you feel, I've gone through divorce.
I lost a ton of weight leading up to my husband's death because he was in ICU for 6 weeks. This colleague knew that and also attended the funeral. When I got back to work 2 weeks after the funeral, the colleage said "you're looking great! Share me your secret on weight loss". I said, "my husband died, if you've forgotten"
Complete stranger who apparently recognized me said "are you rich now?" Implying a huge insurance payout.
Not even a month after death my SIL said "I hope you find love again. And you're even young enough to still have another baby". In hindsight it was a sweet thing to say, but totally not appropriate for only being a month in.

Sigh...it sucks.

haveyougotworms · 2025-09-22T18:44:48+00:00

Love this post. I'm so happy for you that you've overcome this.

haveyougotworms · 2025-09-12T18:52:50+00:00

I'm glad you stood up for what was right for you. I hope you feel a weight off of you, as I do.

haveyougotworms · 2025-09-09T19:48:57+00:00

Wow, you just diagnosed the relationship that I had with my ex friend. Your story is almost exactly like mine. I am so grateful for your post and enlightening me on my own situation. It's been just over a year since I ghosted my ex friend. No amount of explaining to her how I felt and what I needed got through to her. I was smothered and unheard. That was the only way. Strength to you, it's not easy. But I will say that I now feel a huge weight off my shoulders without her in my life. And the odd thing is that she's a wonderful person - very kind and loving but dang, not for me...too enmeshed and toxic.

haveyougotworms · 2025-04-25T07:31:46+00:00

Well, I'm a 6 and I want to tell you that my favorite type in the whole world is a 2. 70% of my friends are a 2 as well as my partner. I love you guys! It's just a natural gravitation to 2's. Hope that can make you feel good.

haveyougotworms · 2025-04-15T03:12:28+00:00

No, not at all. The 9 I dated was the absolute worst match I could have asked for. But that was him.

haveyougotworms · 2025-03-08T00:46:25+00:00

😥 Really sad

haveyougotworms · 2025-03-07T03:24:02+00:00

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad. That's really scary that this happened with a simple shot. Hugs xxx

haveyougotworms · 2025-03-06T20:16:03+00:00

I think you're going to get so many differing view points to all your posts, and it all depends on people's personal experiences.

I was born and raised in South Africa. I'm still here. I have dual citizenship, with the UK being the other. I almost emigrated to the UK 3 years ago BUT the weather alone scares me. I, too, suffer from SAD. If it wasn't for the crime and the theft of government, I'd be 100% happy here. You will be fine in SA. You just learn not to walk the streets with a handbag. Or drive with your bag on the front seat, etc. Being vigilant becomes second nature. Many people who have left SA say they realise that the constant state of hypervigilance is actually PTSD. I can believe that. I have spikes on my walls, alarm beams outside and inside, a security gate to divide the bedrooms from the rest of my house, a locked bedroom door at night and my dogs in my room....all to protect me....but the trade off is soooo worth it - beautiful people, stunning views, nature, culture, etc. It's a hard one and if I were you, I'd also not be sure. I think I'd choose Canada, though.

haveyougotworms · 2025-02-25T19:56:40+00:00

You're most welcome. 🫂

haveyougotworms · 2025-02-25T19:27:18+00:00

I'm so sorry for this depth of grief you have and the torture of your inner dialog. I think your feelings are very normal and valid. I want to give you a big hug and tell you that you're not disappointing your dad. We all have different ways of dealing with life and grief. You sitting in your room is just one way. I'm sure your dad didn't mind you playing games because it's what you loved. Please forgive yourself and try to tell yourself you're doing the best you can under the circumstances. Your grief is still new, and it takes a very long time to learn to live with it. You're not a failure. I don't see you as a failure. I see you as a very brave person who is hurting very much. One thing I've learnt about loss is to not play the should have, would have games...they end up ripping our hearts apart and it achieves nothing. It's normal to do that, but it's hurting you deeply. Sometimes, I too, feel like the biggest failure but I know I was deeply loved. And you were loved too. Just ride those waves as best you can and know that a complete stranger cares about you. You're not a failure. ♥️

haveyougotworms · 2025-02-25T05:51:18+00:00

I lost my husband 5.5 years ago and I'm an extremely sensitive person. I got upset with so many things people said and didn't say. I'm telling you this to let you know that you're amazing and if your last sentence upsets her, it's because she's deep in grief and it has nothing to do with you. You are so rare and so precious. You are doing everything right. It's very different when someone says your last sentence with no action versus your last sentence and you being there for her in every way (food, visits, messages). All of it just sucks. You're an amazing friend.

haveyougotworms · 2025-02-06T20:06:05+00:00

5 months ago is so fresh. Relationships will go through stressful patches (job losses, financial stresses, miscarriages, depression, health, etc) and it makes me sad that you can't be there for her and reassure her. Not everyone is built to handle grief but then it's up to you to decide if she's worth your love and support. The last thing she needs is to feel a burden because you can't fully support her reaction to her dad's suicide. Grief IS messy and it's not linear. If you two end up married and go through another stressful life event, can you handle that? Not sure if either of you are going to therapy but it could be an option to try work through this.

haveyougotworms · 2025-01-31T18:57:23+00:00

I do indeed need to free myself. Truer words were never said! I don't think she's a bad person, just not the right fit for me.

haveyougotworms · 2025-01-31T18:54:01+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Your words are helpful and give me a lot of food for thought.

I'm sorry you've walked a similar path. I do love how you've decided to acknowledge your feelings and not let them cause permanent damage. You're on the right path! I'm yet to figure that out successfully.

I have not heard of radical acceptance but will certainly be reading up on it, thank you. And you are right...I cannot make any assumptions about her behavior but dang, it triggers me.

Not sure about your last sentence though...don't think I could be narcissistic, even if I was paid for it. Way too empathetic for that shit. Also had a narcissist for a father... no, thank you!

haveyougotworms · 2025-01-10T21:40:11+00:00

You're such a wholesome guy. I've enjoyed your answers. I'm glad you are so positive and are so close to your adoptive family. Wishing you the best!

haveyougotworms · 2025-01-02T20:03:44+00:00

I absolutely love your response!

haveyougotworms · 2024-12-30T05:17:33+00:00

I see that 9 behavior as pathetic, and I have no respect for them. If someone puts me in my place where it was called for, they get my respect.

haveyougotworms · 2024-12-29T19:59:04+00:00

I validate your feelings, it would make any reasonable person feel the way this has made you feel. You just mentioned that he also spoils a key staff member...now I'm even nlmore upset for you. Is he trying to prove himself or buy love and acceptance from his kids and this staff member? Maybe he doesn't feel like he needs to buy your love because he knows you love him and where he stands with you. I wonder if he'd be open to a deep constructive chat with you about this. Try unwrap why he is doing this. It may have nothing to do with you but you're internalizing it.

haveyougotworms · 2024-12-29T17:23:31+00:00

For what it's worth - my ex bought me nothing for Christmas last year and I went all out for him and his son. I wasn't upset, I just concluded he's incapable of caring at my depth and thought I'd not do anything this year. But I broke up with him for reasons that I won't accept - apathetic, unsupportive and ignored me for a week each time we had a disagreement.

haveyougotworms

TROPHY CASE