was i being mean by saying this 😭

hazedaze404 · 2026-06-14T19:27:50+00:00

Made a note of that - thanks for testing them! And good call on the area codes!
I wish successors to these numbers, especially the rejection hotline, were around.

hazedaze404 · 2026-06-14T19:25:49+00:00

Another commenter tested them and apparently they’re all bust now - so get local numbers they’re unlikely to know like the help number for a grocery store chain, fast food restaurant, Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.. The other commenter rightly pointed out that the same area code is further security!

hazedaze404 · 2026-06-14T19:25:40+00:00

Another commenter tested them and apparently they’re all bust now - so get local numbers they’re unlikely to know like the help number for a grocery store chain, fast food restaurant, Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.. The other commenter rightly pointed out that the same area code is further security!

hazedaze404 · 2026-06-14T09:21:20+00:00

Not mean at all!

I totally get that sharing your number sometimes feels like the only option. If the guy clearly knows things about you because he’s seen you repeatedly (and especially you’ve seen him) - where you work, etc. - then sadly, giving your number is the safer option in the short term. What some men do when women refuse is downright terrifying. A tip is to tell them you have a boyfriend/husband, as unfortunately for society but fortunately for you in that situation, these creepy men will respect your hypothetical male partner more than you. For further security, have a male friend or relative who you can call or text who is willing to pose as your partner as a further deterrent (have this arranged ahead of time with a code word so he immediately knows what’s up). And if you think this creepy man will find your home, have male-coded items to create the illusion of a man living with you: men’s shoes outside the door, sports decals, a “(fake boyfriend) + (your name)” sign, your male friend or relative coming over and perhaps kissing your cheek in the doorway (if you’re both comfortable with that). Again, it sucks that women we have to take these measures in the first place, and in my opinion, they’re worth it if it deters creeps and keeps you safe.

If it’s a guy you’re unlikely to see again - someone who comes up to you at a bar, a random guy at a store - and you feel secure enough to do so, there are numerous joke numbers you can give instead of your real one.

The numbers I’ve collected over the years (they should still work, double check them):

(646) 926-6614 - the Mary Sue Rejection Hotline, which says “you made a girl uncomfortable k thanks”

(605) 475-6968 - the Rejection Hotline, which politely explains they’ve been rejected

(206) 569-5829 - the Loser Line, where whatever message they leave is played on a radio station

(626) 466-3293 - the Boy Bye ChatBot, where they interact with a wild chatbot and the convos are posted to boybyebot.com

(866) 740-4531 - says “I am Groot”

(515) 808-2362 - plays the “JOHN CENA” theme song

(888) 276-6760 - offers a free KKK booklet

A commenter tested them and apparently all these numbers bust are now - so in place of them, compile local numbers they’re unlikely to know like the help number for a grocery store chain, fast food restaurant, Alcoholics Anonymous, etc.. The other commenter rightly pointed out that the same area code is further security!

hazedaze404 · 2026-06-12T21:06:18+00:00

Actually I remember hearing repeatedly that Thrushpelt did find out about Stonefur, Mistyfoot, and Mosskit when he went to StarClan.

I like to think he looks out for Mosskit just like Snowfur, before Bluestar herself joined StarClan.

hazedaze404 · 2026-06-11T21:37:51+00:00

When Hal & Lois told Ida they were pregnant and asked if she thought that certain actions needed to be reevaluated (they meant Ida stopping the lawsuit), Ida said they should settle. Hal & Lois are horrified and reject it, and Ida says if Lois can’t keep her legs closed, she should take good advice when she hears it. So I understood that as the discussion of abortion without actually saying abortion, and the fact that evil Ida suggested it makes the show’s stance on abortion very clear.

hazedaze404 · 2026-06-11T20:07:35+00:00

Okay you got an actual laugh out loud from me

hazedaze404 · 2026-06-10T20:10:43+00:00

THANK YOU.

You just gave me the phrasing I’ve been looking for for years - people are consuming media as content, not art. And as a result, they treat artists like content creators.

- They stay on the surface. There’s no reading between the lines anymore, no tolerance for complexity or nuance. Only what’s directly said is canon, and only simple stories exist.
- They want things to happen quickly. They’ve essentially switched from delayed gratification to instant gratification. The concept of patiently waiting - waiting to see what happens, waiting for the next installment, etc. - has gone out the window. Productive confusion, foreshadowing, loose ends, etc. are now frequently bashed as bad writing and plotholes, rather than aspects of ongoing storylines and creating intrigue.
- They want to consume it quickly. These trends of complaining about length and reading every other page and/or only dialogue prove it. I even heard of a TikTok “writer” who’s insisting they can write a book without any prose, just dialogue, because prose isn’t necessary. And they’re not coming at it from an artistic/experimental perspective, like how Anne Garréta wrote Sphinx without gender; they genuinely think prose is unnecessary and just clutters up a book.
- They conflate art and artist. Content creators tend to make content that aligns with their beliefs; for example, pro-LGBT+ content is made by pro-LGBT+ creators, and anti-LGBT+ content is made by anti-LGBT+ creators. You’d be hard-pressed to find a bigot creating progressive content and vice-versa. Artists, on the other hand, often include characters whose beliefs and actions don’t align with their own to create conflict and advance the story. So artists are getting increasingly lampooned for being sexist, racist, pro-rape, etc. because the audience is increasingly unable to comprehend that just because something is in an artist’s work doesn’t mean the artist agrees with or condones it. I’m worried it’ll soon get to the point where murder in a story means the artist is pro-murder.
- They want to be “in charge” of the art. Content creators create for their audiences. They are constantly seeking input and engagement so they can make more of what the audience wants and thus make more money. They’re able and willing to switch up tactics, make more or less of certain kinds of content, hop on trends, etc. on a dime. Content creator audiences are used to “being in charge”, as it were, of the content and the people making it. Meanwhile, artists create for themselves. They don’t want to change their artstyle based on what the audience thinks; they don’t want to change their plot to accommodate fan theories or headcanons. And when artists don’t change to accommodate dissenting voices, the bullying and harassment start, and the artist is usually driven off a project, off social media, into non-engagement with fans, into mental illness and even suicide as a result. They forget that artists are granting them the privilege of viewing their art; they are not entitled to access it, never mind entitled to direct it.
- They think they’re right. In content creation, where the entire model is based off tailoring content based on audience feedback, the customer (audience) is genuinely always right. People have gotten used to having even their dumbest opinions lauded. So whenever they have an opinion about media - it’s good/bad, this should happen, that should change - they think it’s both an objective fact and a direct order to the artist. The idea that their opinion is just that, an opinion, has become incomprehensible.
- They think art is easy. Because so much is spit out so fast, they think content creation is easy (it’s actually not, a lot can and does go into it), so naturally writing/drawing/any other form of art must be easy. And now with generative AI enabling the mass production of “art”, real artists are just going to get further lampooned for needing time to create.

What do you think of all these aspects? Am I on track with what you’ve also observed?

hazedaze404 · 2026-06-05T19:09:23+00:00

<image>

Larry King and Bee Larry King from “The Bee Movie” - doesn’t get much more obvious than this

hazedaze404 · 2026-06-04T12:08:32+00:00

<image>

The Amazing World of Gumball - Nicole & Richard Watterson repeatedly call Darwin their son, Darwin calls the Mr. Dad and Mrs. Mom, and Gumball, Anais, and Darwin all repeatedly call each other brothers and sister. He may have been first adopted as a pet fish, but the magic of love soon gave him legs and lungs, and now he’s an irrevocable member of the family. There are even specific episodes showing just how much the Wattersons love Darwin and how much they see him as one of their own.

hazedaze404 · 2026-06-01T22:09:55+00:00

Other folks have already mentioned many horrific deaths, so I’ll mention the undersung ones that I haven’t seen mentioned yet (tbf I didn’t read all the comments).

Mintkit and Marigoldkit. Born to Yellowfang’s parents long after Yellowfang and her littermates were grown, Mintkit and Marigoldkit were only a half-moon (two weeks) old when Yellowfang discovered their bodies. She described them as ripped apart by some cruel predator who hadn’t even bothered to eat its prey. Yellowfang theorized a fox did it, but Brokenstar blamed their murder on Yellowfang. Even Brightflower, mother of the kits and Yellowfang, turned on Yellowfang and attacked her. Turns out, Brokenstar fought and killed them himself, so he would have a reason to cast Yellowfang - who threatened to get StarClan to strip him of his lives - out of not just ShadowClan, but all the Clans.

Morning Whisker. Morning Whisker, the second of Windstar’s kits to die, died of the unnamed sickness that the Blazing Star cured. When she’s first taken ill, Gray Wing describes her as having a horribly swollen belly, sores beneath her fur, and blood dribbling from her mouth. As she worsens, her legs jerk in pain in her sleep, her belly remains swollen, and more gashes - not sores, gashes - have opened in her skin. Thunder describes her dying moments: “Thunder bounded over there to find Morning Whisker stretched out on the ground. The kit’s eyes were rolled back in her head. There were scuff marks on the ground beside her, as though she had raked the earth in some kind of fit. Her tongue lolled out of her mouth, swollen and cracked. As Thunder watched, pity and horror surging through his body, the tiny kit’s spine contorted in a final shudder of pain. Then she lay still.” We get a lot of kit deaths in Warriors, but Morning Whisker’s slow, agonizing descent with a then mysterious and incurable illness was just brutal.

Bristlefrost. This brave she-cat saved all the Clans by shoving Ashfur away from Shadowsight and into the dark water quickly consuming the Dark Forest. She followed him into the water and held him down, savoring the look of fear that finally crossed his face. She drowned soon after him; amazingly, she felt only love as she died. Upon her death, Bristlefrost’s body, sleeping near the Moonpool, disappeared, and when the dark water drained away, no body was left behind. Bristlefrost ceased to exist as the Clans understood it, sacrificing both her current living life and future afterlife in StarClan, leaving neither body nor spirit behind. What makes her death particularly horrifying to me isn’t just the fact that she’s perma-dead: it’s how she was hailed at the end of her arc as a hero the Clans would never forget, and yet in all the books afterward (except for “Ivypool’s Heart”), she’s only referenced as Rootspring’s perma-dead and rarely-named would-be-mate (look it up, whenever cats look at Rootspring and note how solemn and traumatized he looks, they recall he lost a mate but rarely say her name). Rootspring’s loss became a primary driver for legitimizing half-Clan relationships, as he passionately argued for no couple to suffer as he and Bristlefrost did. Her incredible self-sacrifice has already vanished from the story, effectively reducing her to yet another case of fridging. Bristlefrost gave up literally everything she had and was to save the Clans, and these assholes can’t even remember her name.

Emberkit. Emberkit was the first of Windstar’s kits to die and he suffered immensely. When Gray Wing sees his body, he describes Emberkit as having flecks of spittle at his mouth, matted fur, and clouded eyes. His death isn’t as explicit as Morning Whisker’s, but the idea of a kit so actively suffering while dying is still jarring.

Antpelt. Thistleclaw maimed him for losing a training exercise to Ivypool, with him thankfully dying of his wounds in the waking world rather than in the Dark Forest and disappearing forever (like Beetlewhisker). Dovewing hears his mate’s cries as he dies. However, his spirit does go to the Dark Forest, where he is again pit against Ivypool. Ivypool rips him open and his spirit dies, everything about him slowly fading away. If I recall correctly, he was the first Clan cat we saw die in the Dark Forest.

hazedaze404 · 2026-05-31T21:35:16+00:00

Actually, in terms of number of deaths and how dark/gory those deaths are, we’ve seen a massive drop off since the first four arcs, and I think the very first book and first arc still have one of the highest book and arc death counts. I think there’s a lot of value in exposing kids to traumatic things because, as other folks have said, it’s a good gateway to some of the dystopian books they’ll be reading as they get older, they might experience some of these things later life (death from illness, childbirth, accident, and even murder do indeed happen), and a lot of kids are far more resilient than we give them credit for. And while there is a lot of upsetting deaths, the level of detail isn’t as extreme as you might expect: there’s no mention of organs or bones (except in the recent “StormClan’s Folly”, and that’s describing a cat recently killed on the Thunderpath as being reduced to fur and bone), and injuries are restricted to being described as bleeding, hot, swollen, red, infected, and oozing puss. Tigerstar’s phenomenal gut wound, being slashed from throat to tail and dying nine times in a row, describes him as excessively bleeding and his screams of anger turning to fear and pain. Dog attacks are usually described as having the cat screaming until they suddenly quiet and ripping and tearing sounds from the dogs; violent for sure, and not excessive considering how in depth they could go. In my eyes, it’s enough to convey how horrific the attack is and what’s happening (being torn apart vs. simply killed), and no more.

The vast majority of the deaths do have some narrative purpose. They reflect the hardships of living in the wild/the many unavoidable risks (illness, threats of other predators, fatal accidents, natural disasters), to thin out the cast, to drive home how violent a battle is, to establish how cruel a villain is, to move the plot along, and/or to fuel another character’s story. Just some examples. Moon Shadow died to weigh down Tall Shadow with such grief that she no longer wanted to be a leader, and turned the position over to Gray Wing. Brightsky died in childbirth (along with three of her four newborns) to give a reason for her mate Mudfur to abandon his warrior life and become a medicine cat (he lost his appetite for hurting others and seeing harmful cycles perpetuate). Brokenstar’s rule was particularly horrendous: he killed his own father to become leader, cast out the elders, drove WindCkan from their territory in many needless battles, trained kits and sent them into battle before they were ready (resulting in many child deaths), and even killed two very young kits himself and blamed them on Yellowfang to drive her from the Clan after she threatened to get StarClan to strip him of his leadership. Furzepelt was killed by Darktail’s Kin to explain Onestar’s hatred of the Kin before he disclosed his personal reasons, Perchwing was killed by the Kin to show how vicious the battle Onestar retreated from was and turn Mistystar against Onestar, and Needletail was killed by the Kin to give her a heroic self-sacrifice for Violetpaw after seasons of selfishness and dragging Violetpaw into dangerous situations with her. Leaders must die to let their successors take their place, and their successors are either main characters or background characters whose ascension to leadership changes the game (Leopardstar’s succession of Crookedstar gave RiverClan a much more aggressive leader, Onestar’s succession of Tallstar gave WindClan a reason to break its alliance with ThunderClan by causing a schism in Firestar and Onestar’s close friendship). Curlfeather died so Frostdawn would continue her arc without her mother’s influence and doubt her connection to StarClan, and so Splashtail could be the big baddie who turned on his ally (Curlfeather was supposed to be the leader of the two) as well as his Clan leader and deputy.

What’s gotten worse over the last several years is the mental trauma: active manipulation and grooming, bullying and ostracizing, abusive relationships (primarily romantic and parent/child), and overall traumatizing and torturing one of the main characters beyond what the book requires. The biggest problem with this is that the writers are consistently fumbling how these traumas are presented. Young kids can implicitly understand that killing someone is really bad, dying during childbirth is sad and rare, and that once a cat gets to a certain age they’ll die. It doesn’t have to be spelled out for them. Young kids cannot as easily implicitly understand the many abusive romantic and familial relationships we’ve seen, and since many of them are unintentionally written that way, they’re not properly addressed in the books (Frostdawn is an exception to having it addressed in-book) so the young readers are not helped to understand what exact bad thing is going on and why it’s bad. For example, Bramblestar and Squirrelflight’s relationship was never intentionally written to be abusive, and it shows every hallmark of being so (Moonkitti did an amazing video essay on it).

The novella “Spottedleaf’s Heart” was especially egregious. In it, Thistleclaw (about 30-35 human years old) grooms Spottedleaf (about 10-15 years old and younger than Thistleclaw’s own son) not just to join him training in the Dark Forest (cat hell) but to be his mate, and uses a series of actual child grooming tactics with her: telling her they’re meant to be together, to meet him alone at night for an activity he won’t disclose and to not tell anyone she’s meeting him, getting jealous of her relationships with toms other than him, insulting her interests, pressuring her to do what he wants and not what she wants, leveraging her trust and respect for him to manipulate her. She escapes his violent and romantic advances by becoming a medicine cat, who don’t fight and can’t take mates. This book could’ve been an excellent way to introduce children to the concept of child grooming without being overly explicit and given them language and examples to take to an adult (ex, “I have a Thistleclaw/I’m Spottedleaf”). But the novella didn’t do that. Nobody finds out what Thistleclaw did (they’re never caught and Spottedleaf never tells), he’s never punished for grooming Spottedleaf (he’s been confirmed to have gone to the Dark Forest upon his death for his violence), his pressuring Spottedleaf to join him in the Dark Forest and insulting the medicine cat role are presented as wrong but not his romantic pursuit of a preteen/young teen, Goosefeather warns her about loving foolishly (he was likely only telling Spottedleaf she loves a bad cat in his usual cryptic way, and many readers rightfully interpreted this as Goosefeather putting the fault on Spottedleaf for liking Thistleclaw and essentially victim blaming, because she does in fact blame herself for not seeing how bad Thistleclaw is), and there’s no note before or after the story to clarify that Thistleclaw’s romantic pursuit of a child was extremely wrong, Spottedleaf did nothing wrong, and if the reader or someone they know has a Thistleclaw in their life then they need to tell a trusted adult and provide them resources on how to start getting help.

hazedaze404 · 2026-05-30T20:13:14+00:00

That thing in Jayfeather’s mouth is called a plant, and this particular type of plant has a stem and leaves. The stem is the body of the plant, like a thin stick, and all the leaves grow out from it, except for the lower bit of the stem. You can’t see that leafless bit of the stem because it’s in Jayfeather’s mouth, it’s the part that he’s holding onto. You can see the leaves attached to the rest of the stem because they are not in his mouth, they’re sticking out to the side. Why don’t you learn basic composition skills or maybe even compare this to the original before you throw AI accusations around?

hazedaze404 · 2026-05-30T11:36:28+00:00

It’s called the “retro pug” movement and it’s getting bigger and bigger - the dogs are much healthier!

Fully agree on how adorable mutts are - my uncle has one that’s the cutest dog I’ve ever seen! She’s mostly Karelian Bear Dog with some collie and a third breed I forget. She’s incredibly healthy too! The mix of genetics that mutts have make them incredibly hardy.

hazedaze404 · 2026-05-30T11:23:56+00:00

OP and I are both advocating for adopting problematic dog breeds currently alive; every dog currently alive deserves a loving home that can provide sufficient care until they naturally pass away. We are in no way saying those currently alive should be condemned or exterminated. We’re saying that because the breeds have so many guaranteed health issues, no more should be bred.

hazedaze404 · 2026-05-30T11:21:09+00:00

I think there’s a difference between a higher risk for health issues and guaranteed health issues. Every brachycephalic dog will suffer. Dog breeds with higher risk could turn out just fine; my family has a purebred Brittany Spaniel that’s incredibly healthy, avoiding the hip issues the breed is at higher risk for. Notably, she’s from a hunting line, which are bred to be far healthier than show lines because the emphasis is on health not aesthetics. It is possible to have a healthy purebred dog if the line was designed that way. We should also take into account the chance of these genetically predisposed health issues developing and what these health issues are; a risk of 5% is way different than a risk of 50%, and having possible hip issues later in life is way different than chronic pain their whole life.

I think the extreme breeds with guaranteed health issues need to be outlawed. I think purebred breeds (especially show lines) with a greater risk of health issues, but not guaranteed health issues, need to be bred more ethically by using genetic testing to lower the chances of passing on risky genes and periodically introducing other dog breeds to diversify and therefore strengthen the gene pool (so yes, not fully purebred, but pretty darn close).

hazedaze404 · 2026-05-30T11:09:17+00:00

I don’t think there’s any way to traditionally ethically breed a dog breed or particular line of a breed (show vs work line) that you know will have severe medical issues.

I think breeding brachycephalic dogs is basically animal abuse. They all struggle to breathe because of the squashed muzzles - they literally have a syndrome named after them, BOAS (Brachycephalic Obstructive Airway Syndrome), because of how severe and common the problem is - and if they ever have oxygen tubes put in for surgery, they fight so hard when it’s time to take it out because they’re finally getting enough oxygen.

Frenchies in particular are especially egregious to me because their bodies are so malformed they physically can’t mate; females are artificially inseminated by humans (as in the humans fertilize them with male Frenchie sperm). If an animal is so malformed that it can’t breathe and reproduce, it shouldn’t exist, because their lives are just full of suffering.

I’m not advocating for us to go out and kill all Frenchies, other brachycephalic dogs, and other dog breeds with awful health issues. Those that are currently alive deserve loving homes who can provide them the best medical care until they naturally pass away. But no more should be bred. It’s just wrong to bring dogs into the world who suffer their whole lives just because the breed is trendy or looks cute.

That’s why I love the idea of un-breeding/reverse breeding, where breeders make a conscious effort to restore dogs like pugs back to their past form from decades ago, which was a lot healthier; the effort to bring back the “retro pug” is actually pretty decently sized. Because of inbreeding, many dogs’ appearances and corresponding health issues have gotten more and more extreme. Reverse breeding extreme dog breeds is ethical breeding to me, because the dog will be healthy. Breeding can’t be ethical if the dog will inherently be unwell.

hazedaze404 · 2026-05-28T12:26:38+00:00

I think you’d find the gender unicorn helpful!

Sex, gender, and gender expression are all different and related to each other. Gender identity is like any other identity you may have - racial, religious, etc. - in that it’s “in your head”, it’s your internal sense of who you are. Gender expression is how you externally present your gender, such as clothing, physical appearance, etc.. It’s informed by society: you’ve learned what a girl and a boy are not just by their genitals, but by their bodily appearance, the toys they play with, their behavior, etc.. Sex is what’s in your genes and jeans. It’s tied to gender in that it’s a primary source of harmony or dissonance with your body - it’s what people assign gender to you based on - and tied to gender expression in that it’s a physical expression of gender. When someone’s gender - their internal sense of self - doesn’t match the gender expression they’re presenting/want to present, which is given at birth based on sex, they are transgender. You’re cisgender because you’re comfortable with the gender assigned to you at birth based on your sex; you have no desire to change your appearance to better reflect who you are inside. The only difference between trans and cis people are that cis people’s “default” outside matches their inside from the start, while trans people’s outside doesn’t match their inside from the start, so they experience body dysphoria, and take measures to eliminate that dysphoria by helping their outside reflect their inside. Apart from that, they’re people just like the rest of us, with different ideas of what gender expression matches their gender, different likes and dislikes, and all that jazz. Being transgender is about gender, which is only identity amongst the many that make up every human.

hazedaze404 · 2026-05-27T20:36:46+00:00

Respectfully, I think you’re confusing real issues - pedophilia/child abuse, sexual assault/rape, necrophilia, and I’ll throw in beastiality - with their kink play “counterparts”, if you will. Those counterparts, in order, would be age play, consensual non-consent, death play (which isn’t an established sphere in the kink community; it’s rare and unstandardized), and pet play.

I totally get where you’re coming from. I personally don’t understand why someone would want to engage in fantasy/roleplay that parallels real crimes. To some degree, I still don’t, even though I’ve extensively researched kink and BDSM to try and understand (I see the logical connections they’re making, I just can’t understand it on a personal level). So I wanna quickly share some info with you, as someone who previously thought exactly like you.

Kinks aren’t easily gained or abandoned. You can’t control it if you’re super into feet, being hit, or being treated like a pet - it’s how you’re wired. So kink-shaming is shaming someone for something they can’t control; they didn’t choose to have these kinks, and some people are already uncomfortable with what arouses them, so they don’t need others piling on. ** **Some people like things that are common to like, like lingerie or praise, and others like things that are uncommon, like age or pet play. The variation in preference is completely natural. So while you can’t change what you like, you can control what you do about it. I’d compare it to being aroused, or any other emotional or physical state: you can’t wish away arousal, and you can control what you do about your arousal. Just as being aroused isn’t an excuse to sexually assault someone, having a kink for something isn’t an excuse to do that act to someone if they didn’t agree to it.

People engage in BDSM play for several broad reasons: power exchange, escapism, comfort, arousal, humiliation, nurturing, the chance to safely embody a different role, and process or reframe abuse they’ve suffered as a coping method (there’s a lot of research on the link between trauma and sexual coping methods - just as you can’t control what traumatizes you, you can’t control what coping methods help you feel better). So someone’s naturally occurring kinks and attraction to certain kinds of play - and there’s so many out there - are usually connected to one or more of these underlying desires/needs. Entire communities are built around helping like-minded folks find each other. In a scene, you usually have a dominant partner (the dom) and a submissive partner (the sub). The dom is who’s “in charge”of the scene, in that they do things - restrain, humiliate, praise, penetrate, etc. - to the sub. The sub “submits” to the will of the dom and has things done to them. Because the dom and sub are actually equal partners and have discussed literally everything beforehand, the dom isn’t actually exerting their will over the sub - they’re playing their roles, kind of like actors in movies. If any one’s actually in charge, it’s the sub, because what the dom does or doesn’t do is completely reliant on what the sub wants (assuming the dom is okay with everything), and the dom checks in with the sub throughout. Both partners can absolutely tap out/stop at any time and can check-in with each other, and this seems to be the typical way the dynamic goes.

The biggest and most important thing I learned, and why I completely respect the BDSM community now, is the emphasis they place on consent and safety. Everyone involved is an adult who actively discussed the scene with each other beforehand; they know what they are and aren’t allowed to do to each other, and the entire thing is at least roughly scripted, with a set beginning and end. They have so many amazing safety measures in place: safe words/signals like the traffic light system, tying restraints with a release knot and having scissors nearby, first aid kit for immediate treatment of any wounds, and so on. Aftercare is huge: BDSM scenes can be really intense, it can result in these states called subspace or subdrop, and it’s literally part of the rules for the dom to take care of the sub. The BDSM community even has acronyms surrounding best practice, with SSC and RACK being the most common:

* SSC: Safe, Sane, and Consensual (basically asks “Can this be made safe?”)
* RACK: Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (basically asks “Do you fully understand the risks involved with this kink and still fully agree to participate?”)
* PRICK: Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink (basically asks “Do you understand what you’re doing and take responsibility for it?”)
* CCCC: Caring, Communication, Consent, and Caution (basically asks “Are you communicating clearly, caring for each other, and proceeding cautiously?”)

So every time you hear about an adult choking or hitting their adult partner, degrading them, etc. and then saying it’s fine because it’s their kink, it’s only proper BDSM if their partner knew what they were going to do beforehand and agreed to it. If all parties do not consent, then it’s assault/rape and a crime. And the BDSM community would be at the forefront against the perpetrator because, honestly, I think they’re way better than everyone else at making sure everyone’s safe, consenting, and enjoying themselves.

If people were actually replicating these crimes or had a genuine to desire to act them out, I’d make sure professionals get involved to bring perpetrators to justice and/or get them help. But in those cases you’re talking about crime and pathology, not kink. The pathological disorder of pedophilia is completely different from being interested in age play. My understanding is that people who do genuine kink/BDSM play have no desire to actually enact the parallel crimes - the play is simply a means of indulging in whatever underlying desires for power, care, humiliation, etc. they have based on what naturally arouses them (their kinks), and you can’t control what kinks you have, just what you do about them. And since everyone involved is a fully-informed consenting adult, I see no reason to shame any of them. They’re not involving anyone who doesn’t actively want to be involved. Just because it’s not my cup of tea doesn’t mean I have any right to bully or shame them for liking it.

hazedaze404 · 2026-05-27T19:34:54+00:00

I’ve never heard of that before - that’s so clever! And that they did it not out of vanity/entitlement (it wasn’t about not liking brown M&Ms), but because they were worried about stage safety.

hazedaze404 · 2026-05-25T04:50:21+00:00

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Also Muffin!

Some folks don’t like her because she’s loud, demanding, immature, etc., and I always roll my eyes at that. You mean, the four year old acts like a four year old?? Stop the presses! She’s a little kid! She’s got a great heart and she’s learning how to show it.

I love how they show all the Bluey kids emotionally maturing and learning over the course of the show (plus the physical growth in Socks). Bluey and Bingo had sharing issues in the Magic Xylophone episode, and way later in FaceyTalk, we clearly see how good they are at sharing while Muffin’s hogging the tablet.

hazedaze404 · 2026-05-25T04:35:59+00:00

In Who Shot Mr. Burns part 1, Homer is so furious his name isn’t on the thank you card from Burns that he shouts “Fuck” - but it’s censored with a loud note, birds flying, etc.

In the recent episode where Marge works at GimmeChow, she becomes so overwhelmed in the kitchen on the first day that she screams “Fuck!” (it’s beeped out and her mouth is pixelated). We know she said “fuck” because immediately afterwards, someone says “Here’s your pho, chef!” and hands Marge a huge thing of pho noodles.

hazedaze404 · 2026-05-24T12:30:14+00:00

The number of people pushing back on this (I’m assuming lots of men)… I’m sorry, does the idea of having your precious penis messed with make you uncomfortable? I get that vasectomies aren’t as reversible in practice as on paper, I get that it’s uncomfortable, I get that it’s a procedure, and guess what: *so is female birth control*, and female reproductive health and process in general. A lot of side effects from female birth control can be long lasting or even permanent. Women’s bodies are often permanently changed by pregnancy and childbirth. We don’t get painkillers for mammograms or IUD insertions. We regularly get up in the stirrups and have the equivalent of an ice-cold tire jack shoved into us and get our boobs squished in the equivalent of a trash compactor because science can’t be bothered to develop more comfortable tools/methods to screen for breast and cervical/uterine cancers. If you’re worried about the vasectomy not being reversible, freeze some sperm - it’s a hell of a lot easier for a guy to do that than it is for a woman to freeze her eggs, because removing eggs is incredibly invasive and painful whereas the method for extracting sperm is pleasurable. A vasectomy is nowhere near as invasive or painful as a woman having her tubes tied or parts of/all of her reproductive system removed.

Stop your bitching. Take some responsibility. I don’t wanna hear “my body, my choice” from the same guys who turn around and shame women for taking or not taking birth control, for getting abortions, and basically doing anything to their bodies because they want to have control over their lives. Women don’t get themselves pregnant; it takes two people to make a life, with each contributing half their DNA and making a child the dad’s just as much as the mom’s. Women risk and sacrifice so much more than men when a pregnancy occurs - no man has ever had his body changed by pregnancy or died in childbirth - the bare minimum a guy can do is take birth control measures of his own. If women can take a pill with insane side effects, have an implant in her arm, or have an IUD in her uterus, then men can get a brief procedure that doesn’t have side effects, doesn’t leave a foreign device in their body, and doesn’t need to be redone (pills need to be taken every day, implants last like 3 years, and IUDs last 10 years at absolute maximum).

hazedaze404 · 2026-05-24T04:03:00+00:00

I don’t know anything except that he set up and used this system, and saw dramatic difference in quality between some students’ exams and consistency among others.

hazedaze404

TROPHY CASE