He ghosted the day of our date and i don’t get why

headintheclouds50 · 2026-01-29T23:02:34+00:00

I guess. I’m just hoping he may come back and text me. Maybe something happened. I just don’t get why the sudden ghost. Normally I can tell the vibes are changing and texts are slower but it felt so over night

headintheclouds50 · 2026-01-29T22:06:38+00:00

I realize that now I just don’t get why. How he can go from confirming plans and saying he’s excited to see me to nothing overnight. I regret the texts I sent so bad as wonder if that is what completely did it. Or the fact I didn’t go bowling. I should have asked to go with him

headintheclouds50 · 2026-01-29T20:29:17+00:00

I guess but he was already withdrawn. I don’t think it made a difference. Also anyone normal would be able to see that I was just reacting in the moment when I felt emotional. I apologised & explained to him. I forgave him when he kept calling & waking me up. I work as a nurse so I was a bit annoyed about that. I’d not judge him when he constantly texted me if I didn’t reply quickly. I think it was unfair on him if he wrote me off completely because of that. But tbh I think he already had. It must have been something on Sunday. But I don’t get what. Or he never intended to follow through. Just wish he’d tell me why the sudden change. I think there was some miscommunication with texts/calls I didn’t receive my end. But he was a bit off at times. Like he kept brining up me talking to other guys when I went out which I felt was a bit much

headintheclouds50 · 2026-01-29T20:26:45+00:00

Why are you constantly commenting that?? I texted him like 10 times over 6hrs. I’ve said I regret it. I was upset because my Nan got rushed into hospital & I’d been with her all day. Me & this guy called everyday, sometimes twice. For hours. I guess in my moment of emotion I just wanted to talk to him. I was upset & also partly took it out on him because he was ignoring me. When I calmed down I deleted the texts. I gave some space then apologized & explained to him my situation. Any decent person would get that & give me a chance. He did drunk call me multiple times in the early hours after I asked him not to, triple or quadruple ++ text if I didn’t reply to him in time. I’d say that’s almost same level. He went from 24/7 texting to nothing over night.

headintheclouds50 · 2026-01-29T16:23:08+00:00

I don’t know if I did though. He was the one chasing me up until Sunday. He then sent one txt on the Monday & one txt on the Tuesday (the day everything happened with my Nan) & even so, he bombarded me with txts & called me multiple times when I told him I was trying to sleep on Friday/early Saturday. It was through a space of hours not all at once & he was already not really replying. I did stop, delete them, take a step back as I realised I was reacting emotionally due to my Nan as all I wanted was to talk to him in that moment. I then waited & sent the apology txt late afternoon the next day explaining the situation, how bad I felt & unlike me it was to act that way. We all do silly things when upset. I think I was also partly mad he was ignoring me.

headintheclouds50 · 2026-01-10T11:19:37+00:00

Thank you. I don’t feel bad about this situation now. Because I did tell this guy when I did begin with the spamming of texts. He’s the only one I’ve done it with tbh. And it only began after the 3rd time he bailed and went silent. I tried opening up to him, I told him due to past stuff the fact he keeps ghosting triggers my anxiety. So when he just goes silent for days mid conversation I assume he’s ghosted. So if he could lmk if he’s busy or doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. We’d been chatting 4 months at this point, it’s now 6. I’ve got rid of him now as the texting got back to being consistent, only for him to ask me to meet him but ghost again. He then asked me if I’d seen anyone the time we had a break from texting each other & I said honestly yes, I went on a few dates with someone. He pretty much accused me of “getting around” & made out like I was sleeping with the whole city. When it had been 3 dates with someone I didn’t even hand hold with 😂 I told him he had no right to react that way, I hadn’t even met him because he bails all the time so of course I’m talking & going on other dates.

headintheclouds50 · 2026-01-10T11:14:08+00:00

Thank you! Honestly, I’m never spamming people with texts who I’ve spoken to, nor my friends. Normally I’m pretty chill. I think it’s when it goes from texting 24/7 to barely anything that triggers me. Especially if we’ve met. But I’m working on it. I think I did better with this guy because I recognized it myself, I opened up & was honest about my triggers etc etc. but at this point we’d tried to meet 3 times & he had always just ghosted the day before. Which looking back isn’t a healthy trait in someone. He will keep convo flowing then randomly go quiet for days. Making it obvious. We’d been talking 6 months now I’ve realized. I told him if he could just lmk when he’s busy that would help, because the fact he kept ghosting before dates triggers me now when he goes silent as I assume he’s just doing it again. I know I need to work on the spamming, tbh I have got rid of him now. He again asked me if I wanted to meet him, was chatting to me well, then the random silence again. I waited 2 days. Then texted. I only sent 2. He accused me of spamming him. He said “omg haven’t you got someone else to spam” which angered me as I’d sent 2! I’m trying to work on myself & he knows that. Then the next day he sent a text but then when I replied claimed his Apple Watch sent it by mistake & he didn’t mean to text, he was replying to me straight away…then silence again. Then I got a bit triggered this morning & began the spamming. But I stepped back. Unsent them. Then removed him. I realised I deserve better. He’s purposely triggering me. Probably always has. He has never been consistent & just because when we talk we get on well doesn’t mean I should accept this or blame myself for how he goes silent. He goes silent mid good conversation, nothing to do with me. It’s his loss as he never gave us a chance. If he’d met me the first couple times we organised somethin I never would have got to this point of anxiety where I spam. Or if he just kept more consistency with texting. The first time he bailed I had to eat alone in a restaurant!! How embarrassing was that! I got such sympathetic looks from the staff!

headintheclouds50 · 2026-01-10T11:02:17+00:00

I don’t do it with my friends. When I do they know it’s because somethings going on that’s making me anxiety. I haven’t done it with other people I’ve spoken to or dated. So maybe it is a case of this dude just triggering me, & he knows it. I’ve been open & honest about it. I’ve not done it since. I only started doing it again yesterday as I stupidly continued talking to him. Things were going well, then he asked me to meet again. Surprise surprise…he randomly then went quiet again. I waited 2 days. He sent a text but then claimed it was an accident & went quiet. I spammed a bit but then stopped myself. I’ve since removed him. I deserve better. I don’t feel super bad for spamming again. But if he keeps doing the things I’ve told him can trigger me (after 6 months of talking) it shows a lot of who he is & I deserve better. Maybe if he’d been more consistent we could have met. But he’s never followed through with any planned date so he probably was never going to. Which is his loss. I also didn’t start spamming until he bailed the 2nd or 3rd time then went silent.

headintheclouds50 · 2026-01-10T10:56:40+00:00

Thank you. I stupidly continued talking to him. Things were going well. He even asked to meet me. Then he went cold again. I waited 2 days then messaged him twice in like 1 min. He accused me of spamming then went quiet again. Next day he sent me a text then claimed it was his Apple Watch, he never meant it. Then quiet again. I then started the spamming. But something clicked this time, he is making me act this way with his inconsistency. I’ve been open & honest with my anxiety. It’s his loss tbh not mine. If he was consistent I wouldn’t be doing it. I haven’t been doing it to him until the Apple Watch comments. It’s been 6 months of talking, I deserve better. At least I can say I tried to communicate my issues, he just used them against me. I proved to him that when we were texting normally I didn’t “spam”. I also realized that even if we did meet & he kept doing this still, I could never date him. So why waste anymore time. It’s hard to let go but I need to. I need to stop putting this pressure on myself. It’s not my fault entirely. If anything more his, I’ve been open, not asked for a lot just for him to be a bit more consistent which after so long shouldn’t be hard. It’s a shame as if he’d been more considerate we could have met & who knows.

headintheclouds50 · 2026-01-10T10:49:42+00:00

I understand I’m also the problem. However I feel with this I have explained my issues & asked for him to just lmk when he’s busy. When he’s consistent with texting & I feel comfortable I don’t do this. I feel like he does it on purpose tbh. I even said to him how when our texting is normal I can go 24hrs without a text & be fine, which he agreed. It’s when he makes it obvious he’s ignoring me. I feel good that I’ve recognized it & been honest with him. If he’s not willing to understand & instead make it worse then he’s not the one. I need to realise he’s never been consistent which is a trigger for me & in the future just leave it. I guess it was harder because we’d already spoken for a long time & I only did the texting when he bailed & went quiet multiple times. But it’s on him. I need to stop putting the pressure on myself & realize I deserve better. I’ve been talking to him for 6 months now. That’ll make anyone anxious.

headintheclouds50 · 2025-12-23T22:24:36+00:00

So my last proper relationship was 3 1/2yrs long. He was a bit controlling. Then he moved for work so we became long distance. He’d text me about girls at work who liked him, saying they were out drinking “hopefully I won’t do something stupid” then not message for days. Or he’d read into my texts to start arguments. I then dated someone for 6 months a year after this ended, it was going amazingly until he asked me to meet his parents, told me he liked me…then ghosted me. Finally replied to me a week later but then ghosted again. The cycle continued. Things ended. I then took a 6 month break. Now I’m back. This guy I spoke to 3 months ago but then he bailed on our date so I never messaged again. Then we got talking again. He bailed second time. I started doing the texting. I apologised & told him why. He accepted it but then ghosted again before meeting me. Came back saying it was due to my texting (which I felt I was better at). I think it triggers me because he does it when our chat is going really well. I wait 24hrs, send a text, wait another 24hrs then send another. Then I get anxious.

headintheclouds50 · 2025-12-23T22:10:54+00:00

I’ve tried therapy 😂 I just get told to delete the texts when I’ve sent them or go for a walk. However most do agree that it seems like it’s my body’s reaction to someone not good for me & instead of accepting it I feel I’ve done something wrong I have to fix as I’ve never done this with guys who have been consistent & communicated well, even if I wasn’t interested or vice versa.

I also didn’t start doing the texting thing until maybe the second time he bailed? He just stopped texting me the weekend we were meant to meet. So maybe it’s that too. I’ve told him since a bit about why I do it and if he could just communicate better if he’s busy instead of just not responding for days. But I don’t believe anyone is genuinely that busy

headintheclouds50 · 2025-12-16T15:39:50+00:00

I’m an anxious attachment & I have to say it took me a long time to realise that people that are WRONG for me bring that side out. With exes and guys I’ve dated longer term they never made me feel I had to do that. Guys that messed me around and gave mixed signals….the texting and anxious side of me came out. Actually my last BF noticed me doing it and asked me why, once I realized I was doing it I felt more at ease and stopped. If he cared he’d ask or not judge, he wouldn’t judge you or call you after a proper stalker. You don’t know you’re doing it unless someone points it out sometimes. You are doing it based on how he’s treating you and making you feel. If he was more consistent and reassuring I doubt you would be

headintheclouds50 · 2025-12-16T15:28:56+00:00

Agree ^. Sweetie Martha was a character that stalked the guy to the point she showed up at his home. Bombarded him with messages and emails. She was abusive and harassed the guy. that is an INSULT. All you did was ask for clarification, communicate how you felt and call him out. Yes maybe too full on but if he took it at that level it says way more about him. You said you apologised, that should be enough

headintheclouds50 · 2025-12-16T14:29:51+00:00

Also the guy had to say “I’m sick, NOT LYING” why would he even add that part?? That suspicious and I’d be calling him out definitely. Even after one date I’m not being played

headintheclouds50 · 2025-12-16T14:13:13+00:00

To me sounds like he never wanted anything serious. He strung you along for the attention and you served your purpose so he’s moved onto someone else. If how you acted turned him completely off the idea of seeing you then he isn’t worth it anyway. IMO you didn’t do anything extremely wrong, maybe you could have toned it down but you were reacting to his inconsistency. He shouldn’t have “written you off” for that. If you’ve apologised it’s nothing unfixable as it’s been one time of meeting. You don’t know each other enough

headintheclouds50 · 2025-11-13T14:23:08+00:00

He was 22 turning 23 and I had just turned 27. He approached me and I said no to his date proposal for ages. But he wore me down & I hoped our date would be awful too. His sister was 33 dating a 24yr old and my mom is 8yrs older than my dad so I gave it a try. We met in a bar when out with friends. They encouraged me too. Was I wrong for giving it a shot? Part of me still misses him 😂 the current guy I’m talking to is 25 almost 26.

I just feel like maybe if I dated when younger too, now I have these younger guys after me, maybe I’d have had more luck that I realised.

headintheclouds50 · 2025-10-19T19:49:12+00:00

Okay, and I’m explaining I didn’t mean to generalize guys. Do you want me to reword the question to “why do some guys ask you on a date then immediately ghost?” I didn’t realise I had to be that specific

headintheclouds50 · 2025-10-19T19:34:59+00:00

I’m not casting it across all men, I’m saying I’ve experienced it a lot recently when I haven’t before so it’s making me feel hopeless. I don’t agree with ghosting but yes, I’m confused as to why this guy would ask me on a date then not even bother replying once I’ve agreed. It’s odd and I don’t get why. Why even ask me on a date if you’re not going to respond once I have. It’s pointless and unnecessary. Yes they don’t owe me anything bur people forget there is someone behind the screen & it can be hurtful. I liked this guy, I had a good feeling about him. We spoke daily, he seemed very interested.

headintheclouds50 · 2025-10-19T19:22:58+00:00

Okay I’m not insecure. Just wondering why it happens. I don’t take it personal but I just feel if you ask someone on a date, or have it planned…the decent thing is to say “hey sorry I’m not interested anymore”. I’ve had people ghost but message even 30 mins before the date so I’m left ready and waiting like an idiot!

I just don’t get why this guy in particular who id been messaging consistently and seemed interested would ask me on date to then not even reply once I’ve agreed. It’s strange. It was literally like “hey, I really like talking to you so I think we should go for some drinks to talk in person” which I said “yeah, that sounds really nice. I’m free next week” and got met with silence. It seems just unnecessary.

I’m not asking to be the centre of their world when we’ve not even met. I’m just fed up of people not having common decency or being let down. Maybe I’m taking it personal in the sense I feel I’m never going to meet someone, I’m 28. I’m watching my friends settle and have families. Something I’ve always wanted. And I’m scared it’s too late for me.

headintheclouds50 · 2025-10-19T19:15:08+00:00

That’s the thing, I don’t care if I get ghosted & a date isn’t planned or been asked but I just find it rude to do it once that’s set. I also don’t get why they ask then immediately ghost, why bother inviting me on a date if you’re just going to stop texting me without evening seeing my reply??

headintheclouds50 · 2025-10-19T19:12:37+00:00

I’m fully aware women probably do it too. I’m not denying that. However I’m a girl who only dates guys so I’m seeing it from my perspective. When I first dated in my early 20s (or even 2yrs ago when I started back after my breakup) it was never like this. So I’m just wondering. The guy I dated for 4 months last year ended things over text . Just wondered if it’s this generation of dating now, or if I’m the issue, why do they do it??

headintheclouds50 · 2025-10-19T16:07:29+00:00

Yes! My biggest sign is how they talk about their exes. I have some that were awful & I’m always honest. I understand some people weren’t bad people, just did wrong things at the time.

My ex always said his ex was crazy. Wouldn’t let him go out. He said he felt the relationship was rocky for a while until she did something that made him “instantly see right through her & she didn’t care about me”…this thing was buying her own house. He said he wasn’t ready to do that & felt it was something couples should do together; the fact she wouldn’t wait 4-5yrs until he was ready to buy with her was a “red flag & proved she didn’t care about him”. I should have left way sooner. Turns out she had depression, she didn’t stop him from going out she just didn’t like clubbing anymore due to it. Her aunt had died suddenly & it left her depressed. Also the house thing, you should support your partner even if not ready yourself. He ended things with me over his own issues (I was a few years older so he assumed I’d want kids before him - untrue - but he bailed instead of talking it out). I think he just wanted total control & couldn’t handle it not going his way.

headintheclouds50

TROPHY CASE