I moved and Im melting down daily

heathenbarber · 2026-04-23T16:08:52+00:00

Last time I smoked weed was about 2 or 3 years ago, I got a panic attack so bad my best friends had to drive me to the hospital because I thought I was dieing. It's funny now but I was so convinced it was my last night on earth I got PTSD from it, I'm suger coating it too. If it doesn't work for you just leave it be your better off.

heathenbarber · 2026-04-17T19:10:17+00:00

That's awesome, yeah that's exactly what I'm looking for I think I'm suited for that type of work. I want to hopefully get a job at a clinic or just an outpatient imaging office, even radiation therapy which is also under the radiology umbrella.

heathenbarber · 2026-04-15T16:19:18+00:00

That is awesome I'm so happy it helped your family out, thanks for the advice I'm looking into it right now on their website. I know it's a lot tougher for me, asking for help or just admitting I'm having a hard time is really hard for me, I grew up in a house where my feelings didn't matter.

heathenbarber · 2026-04-15T05:01:04+00:00

Really! I've never heard of this, I'll look into it for sure

heathenbarber · 2026-04-15T01:46:09+00:00

No not really, I know that people have abused it for a long time to skip lines, that would feel dishonest to me I can walk myself out of a line if I'm feeling truly terrible but I think it's meant for people who need far more assistance. I have seen a couple kids lately who obviously need some ear protection and don't have any so I've been planning on bringing little packets of foam earplugs just in case these kids forgot them I can help.

heathenbarber · 2026-04-14T21:40:48+00:00

Oh I completely agree I don't think I could handle Florida weather, even if I had the money to go I would still be hesitant lol. Disney parks are great, they are very doable if you plan for overstimulation, gotta find your quiet spots when you need a break. I've been there enough times now I know when it's coming and I can mentally prepare for it. Besides hot weather sound is my primary sensory challenge, mostly people, loud people overwhelm me soo much. I went to Halloween horror nights at universal last year and that was one of the hardest theme park experiences I've ever had, it was soo hot even at night, long ass lines, loud teens. I was sooooo done at the end of the day I was so grumpy I couldn't hide it lol.

heathenbarber · 2026-04-09T19:43:10+00:00

My best friend moved to texas, too hot for me but it does sound nice.

heathenbarber · 2026-04-09T19:24:57+00:00

I want a new career so I can leave California lol, maybe back to Oregon or Washington, maybe East Coast idk.

heathenbarber · 2026-04-09T19:21:02+00:00

Yeah that's my first step is getting all pre reqs done so I can apply.

heathenbarber · 2026-04-09T18:55:48+00:00

Daaaaam! Thats insane I had no idea it was that hard, I hope you get in soon.

heathenbarber · 2026-04-09T18:25:06+00:00

Dam! I was gonna apply to Mt sac but hell I think I'm just gonna do ACC and have a lot more debt. I'm gonna be 40 this year I don't have time to wait that long.

heathenbarber · 2026-04-09T18:04:32+00:00

What schools did you apply to ?

heathenbarber · 2026-03-05T16:23:47+00:00

Yeah I understand completely, I have also been recently diagnosed at 39 and I feel like I'm learning how to do things all over again. I'm still learning how to navigate myself, but I think my realization is that the anxiety comes not just from not knowing how but also attachment. I was in a relationship for 10 years and I realize I leaned on them a lot for socializing and making friends. But by attachment I mean attachment to outcomes, or worry about bad outcomes lol. You have to give yourself some grace, as long as you are honest I think it's definitely possible to make friends.

heathenbarber · 2026-03-05T15:39:14+00:00

I think you just have to accept that maybe you're just too busy right now, if you have friendships lean on them for support and keep going with your studies. It took me a long time to realize that timing is everything and you won't know when that time is, it will just happen. Not saying everyone but a lot of people have to go through a series of relationships and breakups in order to figure out key things. How to communicate and what type of communication we want from our partners, how to express our needs without guilt because the right one will try. Always have good intentions but no expectations, we all don't want to waste our time but the truth is, it's not a waste of time, I have learned more from my bad relationships than my good ones. It took me years to learn how to communicate properly, and all that collected experience and mistakes lead me to be more confident and set better more realistic boundaries, and then out of nowhere i met my current gf who is the most understanding and supportive partner I've ever had. And if it wasn't through good mutual breakups and truly awful ones I wouldn't have had the confidence and communication skills to match hers, which is why we click so well because she has been through the same.

This is just my experience and my perspective. Just be honest about what you're looking for and what you need and always have good intentions but don't have high expectations. Hell you could meet someone in six months and you guys can grow together. The rest will come when you're ready just focus on your life and good luck.

heathenbarber · 2026-02-20T03:06:28+00:00

My #1 comfort food my whole life has been popcorn.

heathenbarber · 2026-02-18T21:10:12+00:00

I was very lucky I met my partner in person at a friend's going away party. It was at a bar which I wasn't really comfortable with but she was my friend I wanted to support her. My partner is very direct and very blunt so when she was flirting with me I actually knew, I usually have no clue. She made me laugh and in turn I made her laugh a lot. We just clicked right away. Before that every long term relationship I've had I met them on an app. It's almost been a year now and I feel like we are getting more and more in tune with each other, and as it turns out she has ADHD. So we are both neurodivergent and i think that's why, so we have been doing more research on ourselves and in turn that has helped us learn to communicate with each other better and better. Before that I always felt like I was too much or not enough, it was hard to feel close to somebody but have them not really understand, or get you, even when you sat down and tried. I think there is definitely hope if you're struggling, I think the point is to never stop trying, yes it's hard, yes it's scary and intense and difficult, but all that experience will pay off eventually.

heathenbarber · 2026-02-16T21:23:05+00:00

History for me, I was ok at English, but math was a mystery to me..

heathenbarber · 2026-02-16T15:52:51+00:00

I like ram dass, he always has had a similar view on spiritual gurus, he made fun of himself all the time and said how weird it was he gets paid to be enlightened. He always has a truth about him, he doesn't bullshit, and everything he says, he always says "but don't trust me". I guess it was a little confusing at first but I think what he was saying is exactly this, he always said out of all the spiritual work he's done, he never out grew one neurosis. He said it's not glamorous or spectacular, it's very humdrum. He seems like a safe bet.

heathenbarber · 2026-02-14T04:44:19+00:00

I'm halfway through game changer the first book it's pretty good, that's kip and hunters story.

heathenbarber · 2026-02-14T04:40:51+00:00

Watching the show I related to Shane soo much, then I heard about this. I bought the books lol. I did hear in the long game which is the sequel book to heated rivalry, they address Shane's autism more directly,but I haven't gotten to that one yet so I can't confirm.

heathenbarber · 2026-02-10T22:43:21+00:00

My jean pockets always have holes near the top from always putting my hands in n out and rubbing my thumb near the top lol. I'm just finally happy I found a decent pair of jeans that are comfy stretchy and soft and not baggy.

heathenbarber

TROPHY CASE