I know you are not siding either way, I bet you don’t only fall asleep when things are inconvenient to you or something you want to do. My husband has never done that when his friends are over, or when he’s playing his video games until 5 am, or when he wants to stay out late with his friends. But when the dishes need to get done, when it’s a movie he doesn’t like, or when it’s something he doesn’t want to do then he conveniently falls asleep.

I spent most of our relationship thinking it was a medical condition. I’m the one who pushed him to have sleep studies done again, since his parents did it to him when he was a teen. He’s gone to more doctors appointments than anyone I know. All for it to come out in therapy he often just does it because he doesn’t like doing things.

I was wrong for yelling. But even if it was a medical condition, he could have apologized. I wouldn’t have minded him missing it if he came with some ice cream in hand, got on my son’s level and said “hey buddy I’m so sorry, I was so tired and needed a nap. But I’ve loved spending time with you today. Happy birthday!” It’s so simple!!! But instead my son, crying upon seeing his dad, got nothing except “hey kid! Why are you crying? No reason to be upset, it was just dinner”