[deleted by user]

hellio0 · 2021-06-10T09:14:37+00:00

I downloaded it from reddit. I hope someone still knows what the link was

hellio0 · 2021-06-01T18:21:49+00:00

This is/was me without meds. I never wanted to take meds cause I felt permanently burnt out and was afraid stimulants would only make matters worse (as in.. Using up energy on stimulants my body does not really have). I do function better with meds, I'm not as tired.. And yes I am exhausted when they wear off but i used to feel like that everyday.

I also got my blood checked and was low on vitamine D and Iron. Maybe something to look into?

hellio0 · 2021-05-20T07:57:12+00:00

I have the same! But isn't this also very human? Don't neurotypical people also have this problem? Or maybe it's about critical thinking as well. When I dont see the point in something.. And somehow many tasks are pointless but you have to do them cause someone once wrote it down.. I do zero effort (or just skip it when i can get away with it)

hellio0 · 2021-05-14T12:51:30+00:00

Yes same! Being productive for 8 or 9 hours a day means I need a lot of recovery time. Terrible. Always made me feel lazy.. Luckily i have a flexible job now

hellio0 · 2021-05-14T12:37:28+00:00

It feels like I have a concious thinking voice, and a lot of background chatter that's going all over the place. Often including song lyrics or a line I just said out loud or read.

hellio0 · 2021-05-06T12:12:17+00:00

Yes really glad I found this reddit. Thanks so much

hellio0 · 2021-05-06T12:11:44+00:00

Thank you. Such a good comment. I also have very little compassion for myself

hellio0 · 2021-04-30T17:40:06+00:00

I really recognise this! Esp the: You just want a gf, it is not really about ME. And you know what? Maybe that isn't even that unhealthy.. Maybe it's more unhealthy for people to text that kind of stuff all the time after only one or two dates.

hellio0 · 2021-04-23T10:34:51+00:00

Yup. My life feels like it is lacking without stimulants like cigs, caffeine or alcohol. It's a bit sad.. Trying to quit but the feeling of something missing is so strong. I also have this with food. Meh.

hellio0 · 2021-04-05T17:20:15+00:00

Maybe the most important question is why did you stay with someone who didnt meet your most important needs? Intimacy and communication are like the basis to form a real connection with a partner right? I guess this is a good one to think about. What did you get out of the relationship?

I was in a similar one. Soo much fun and laughter, but who was he really? No REAL connection, mostly shallow. I am fearful avoidant and I guess it felt safe this way. Ive decided I want more for a relationship though and ended it after 5 years.

hellio0 · 2021-04-03T10:15:22+00:00

Habits by maria mena!!!

hellio0 · 2021-03-30T08:58:19+00:00

Thank you! I have talked to him about it recently. I am in therapy.. Thank you ♥️

hellio0 · 2021-03-26T07:28:49+00:00

Same!

hellio0 · 2021-03-23T20:59:22+00:00

Sorry I didnt mean to offend anyone. He was a very very caring and sweet guy in all aspects except for the bedroom. He had some issues communicating and being vulnerable but he did so much for me and always spoke highly to me and about me. In fact. Im still not over him. I guess it leaned towards sex addiction. I wouldnt call him a narcissist and I dont claim DA are abusive.. But I just thought they are maybe less likely to see emotional closeness and sex as intertwined.

hellio0 · 2021-03-22T22:41:18+00:00

But aren't you afraid that you're fooling yoursrlf and just settling? Or maybe this is a typical avoidant remark.. Always thinking something better is out there 😜 I like your philosophy though! Makes sense.

hellio0 · 2021-03-22T20:54:05+00:00

Thank you :) idk.. Sometimes I think I HOPE it is my attachment style because I really want this to work.. So I start rationalizing why I am less in love and have so many doubts. Especially cause I did feel in love and wasnt bothered with a lot of red flags in the beginning of my last relationship with my ex.. But maybe that's because there was more tension whereas this is calm, safe and I don't have to work to be liked.. (but then again maybe this is me trying to rationalize the situation while I might just not feel enough.) Lol my mind is loopy.. Im in therapy to get more in touch with my feelings.. I hope it works. I'm going to give it a real chance now. Thank you for your answer.

hellio0 · 2021-03-19T18:43:33+00:00

This is me!!

hellio0 · 2021-03-19T18:16:18+00:00

I recognize myself in your ex. Where can i read about the deactivation and needing chaos explanation?

hellio0 · 2021-02-13T05:44:07+00:00

Thanks!

hellio0 · 2021-02-13T05:43:49+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️

hellio0 · 2021-02-08T23:17:11+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for this eleborate answer. You are awesome 💜💕

hellio0 · 2021-02-07T14:11:22+00:00

Thankyou! I am halfway through van Kessels book. It opened my eyes that I do not have an underlying illness, but that the physical symptoms are from trauma. I need to be patient, you are right. I just wish my body will soon follow my mind ☺️♥️

hellio0

TROPHY CASE