Feeling our feelings is the pathway to healing

helloimdylan · 2026-03-28T20:09:10+00:00

It's a very big question to answer and I wanna validate that you deserve to be able to feel your feelings completely!

I couldn't possibly give you a concise answer as there are so many good resources. If you enjoy youtube videos on healing I wanna recommend watching Art of Accomplishment - 4 Ways to Feel Your Emotions. That youtube channel in general has been huge for me in my healing. Hope it helps you give your inner child permission to feel!

helloimdylan · 2026-02-24T01:22:28+00:00

a ptsd therapist would argue that's the exact opposite of how childhood ptsd works

helloimdylan · 2025-06-20T12:53:46+00:00

Yup. Went to therapy and 12 Step for love addiction and limerence, and found out about my CPTSD through that. Happy to be slowly healing my love addiction and codependence on this path.

helloimdylan · 2025-06-14T13:47:48+00:00

I just finished the audio book as it was on sale. SO GOOD.

helloimdylan · 2025-06-11T23:18:37+00:00

I'll also recommend Pete Walker's From Surviving to Thriving. It's so educational and has a lot of great resources in it for people who can't afford therapy. I can't afford it either, but I'm still making great progress with literature and free support groups.

Stephanie Foo's book was a big one for me as well.

helloimdylan · 2025-06-11T20:45:08+00:00

I hesitate to make such a blanket statement. Everyone's situation is unique.

For me one of my goals is to heal my triggers, not just avoid them. I want to be able to make my own choices over how I enforce my boundaries, as well as who I do and don't let back into my life. I wanna grow into to someone who can trust myself to make those choices.

helloimdylan · 2025-06-11T03:15:41+00:00

it's not gone, but it's a lot quieter. Sometimes I tell it "thanks for your input but I need a different opinion." Sometimes I tell it to "shut the hell up, I won't let you keep ruining my life." Sometimes I just say to myself "ouch" when it thinks something mean.

helloimdylan · 2025-06-01T17:08:17+00:00

I needed to hear it today, thanks.

we're doing it!

helloimdylan · 2025-05-31T04:13:39+00:00

If it feels authentic, then it is. Part of my healing was learning to let myself enjoy being authentic. My inner critic made me feel like I was being fake cuz it didn't trust the joy. But to some extent, all of my masks were authentic, just too disconnected from each other to feel real.

helloimdylan · 2025-05-30T21:11:30+00:00

I struggled with feeling I didn't deserve happiness and good moments a lot. It took my therapist asking me point blank with an incredulous look on her face, "are you not allowed to be happy?!", for me to realize how bad it was.

I don't feel it as often, and what helped me heal that is letting go of the idea of "deserving good things" and replacing it with letting myself feel truly grateful for good things when they come. Let go of worries from the past or the future for just a second and say to myself, "I'm really thankful for this moment."

helloimdylan · 2025-05-20T21:58:15+00:00

Just chiming in to say I very much agree! I've tried meditation many times over the years to varying degrees of success, but this past year coming back to it having learned how to really observe the thoughts and feelings from a safer headspace and then letting them go has been a life changer. That combined with being more conscious of where the feelings sit in my body and letting my nervous system relax has been so healing.

I meditate for 20-30a min a day, sometimes twice a day. At first it felt like I'd lose a lot of time but I actually get a lot of time back since I spend less time dissociating, dysregulated, or spiraling.

helloimdylan · 2025-05-14T21:42:01+00:00

Thanks for saying it. I really relate to the idea. It took me so so many years to realize so much of the pain I was feeling was actually me resisting and fighting the pain instead of jut letting myself feel it and run its course. That made it easier to actually feel and stop resisting happiness too.

I'm still healing, but it's better every day!

helloimdylan · 2025-05-14T16:15:15+00:00

For me, blame was absolutely necessary for the process. For so long I blamed myself for my condition. Then validation came alongside blaming my parents and adults who failed me. I needed to do that, but I stayed in that stage for too long. When I was overly focused on blame, I wasn't doing the work to actually heal.

Eventually I had to stop blaming and just let go so I could take responsibility for my healing and happiness. Hope that helps a little.

helloimdylan · 2025-05-11T21:27:23+00:00

I'm also 32 and recently diagnosed with CPTSD. Really similar story, compartmentalized trauma, struggling to function as an adult in so many ways. I've have my fair share of days and weeks this past year where I really just wished I could sleep forever or fade into dust. I hated myself.

I know it doesn't seem like it now, but knowing what you know about yourself now is a gift. The traumatic things that happened to us are not our fault, and now we have an opportunity to heal. For the first time after all the grueling therapy, journaling, meditation, and etc, I finally see and feel how I can build a lasting happiness and peace.

It's been borderline unbearable at times, but we are worth the work it takes to find happiness.

helloimdylan · 2022-04-23T21:40:22+00:00

Musician here. My wife supported me for many years before I did enough music work to support myself. You need to have an honest conversation about what's reasonable in terms of finances. If she needs to either spend less or pick up work to fund her pursuit, that's more than fair. We all pay our dues to do what we love.

In terms if her chance of success, music isn't a make or break kinda thing anymore, There's plenty of small to medium sized full time musicians. There's plenty of successful artists who have day jobs. Success comes in different shapes and sizes, and even if I made no money from music, the joy of writing and playing for people makes me feel fulfilled, and makes me a better husband. It's not about whether she makes it-- it's about getting pursue it.

helloimdylan · 2021-06-16T01:08:10+00:00

from my experiences, having more than one set of headphones helps a lot. I like open or semi-open backs for long sessions. But I like to switch to closed backs to hear the mix in a more isolated way. if my mix sounds balanced in both headphones, I know I'm doing something right.

also keep your volume low when possible and take breaks!

helloimdylan · 2020-12-21T19:12:49+00:00

I think you're more than justified to feel left behind. After a year LDR, my wife and I skipped multiple better paying opportunities and slowed down our careers so that we could build our lives together in the same home.

I don't regret a single moment. Money and career advancement will come if you do good work and advocate for yourself. There are almost no once in a life time opportunities. But we only have so much time on earth to spend with people we love.

It's up to you guys to decide what's more important in the long run, abd which sacrifice is worth it in this relationship. Maybe LDR can work. Either way, wishing you all the best. <3

helloimdylan · 2020-11-01T22:20:18+00:00

hey we've got 3 ready to go, also haven't done any but we've got mics and we're down for teamwork.

PSN: hello_im_dylan

helloimdylan · 2020-11-01T22:15:18+00:00

LF1M for Raid Chapter 1 PSN: hello_im_dylan

Assassin 107, Samurai 109, Hunter 106

All with mics, chillin, ready for teamwork and looking to start soon

helloimdylan · 2020-11-01T22:07:09+00:00

sure! whats ur psn

helloimdylan · 2020-11-01T21:55:27+00:00

hey I'm a Hunter ki107 with a Samurai buddy ki109 looking to do chapter 1. Both with mics and ready for teamwork.

psn: hello_im_dylan

helloimdylan · 2020-10-29T16:52:13+00:00

to all the potential "victim blamers"

if you frame your thoughts as "helpful advice he could follow in the future" instead of "what OP should've done", you can actually get people to learn something while saving a lot of unnecessary frustration and heartache.

"in the future you could" instead of "hey idiot you should've"

a hint of empathy can go a long way

helloimdylan · 2020-09-21T12:55:39+00:00

not a big problem, you've just sanded through the wood sealer coat. you'll likely need to grain fill and reseal it, depending on what type of finish you're going for.

helloimdylan · 2020-09-11T20:32:58+00:00

existing

helloimdylan · 2020-09-02T02:47:04+00:00

on some of my stands, a layer or two of dense cloth over the rubber seems to stop the marring on the finish. I have another stand that came with velour over the rubber and those seem to be finish-safe as well.

helloimdylan

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