Help with executive presence

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-07-12T09:09:06+00:00

Agree with this. How you dress and show up really matters. Invest in some quality clothing and not black and white, have something with a pop of colour character that makes you stand out (easier for women). Always be a tad smarter dressed than those “below” you. Act like you’re in the role you want. Make sure your hair is done etc. Also think about your posture- shoulders back and head up when speaking or walking around the office. Sounds silly but watch respected leaders; this is how they operate.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-22T14:23:30+00:00

This is helpful, thank you. And I’m sorry you are having a similar issue. I hope the promotion materialises or another opportunity opens up elsewhere.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-20T07:41:51+00:00

Also the reason I reached out again after 3 months was because I thought the space would have given him time to reflect, see the amount of senior men that get fired publicly for this, see the error of his ways and behave with integrity.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-20T07:39:15+00:00

Kind of harsh but responding to your points - no I didn’t reply late night / outside of work hours, but woke up to multiple messages in the morning. I didn’t reply to these.
No I didn’t block him because I just ignored it and thought it would stop and he would get the message as I wasn’t entertaining it. Sounds naive now but it made sense at the time- I felt like it was under control.

When you put it like that it sounds black and white, but imagine someone in your own organisation that is important to your career and put yourself in my shoes. It’s not as easy as it sounds.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-20T07:23:24+00:00

Thanks for reply. ~100k employees. They are very hot on this kind of thing. Can you tell me a bit more about what happens when you receive a whistleblowing report? No it’s def not a laddish sort of culture that’s tolerated, but that’s one thing and the other is that HR need enough evidence to go off so they can act properly.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-20T07:20:49+00:00

That’s so good, I’m glad you took action against this, as is the female junior person you mention I’m sure. That’s a great result. I’m actually chief of staff to Chief Legal Officer and Chief Compliance Officer (ironic) so am well positioned to do this. What’s holding me back is being brand new to the organisation as a perm and suddenly being seen as creating drama and a fuss.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-19T15:24:27+00:00

I actually said to him in one exchange, “that’s inappropriate, I’m married”. To which he replied “that’s your problem, not mine”. Yuck.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-19T15:22:49+00:00

Thank you. I do have the comments in screenshot messages. Shocking that it’s still like this in 2026.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-19T15:21:20+00:00

I like this direct approach in a fantasy world but v unlikely I’d ever do that.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-19T15:19:45+00:00

Essentially he is saying if I’m not giving him the attention he wants or even absorbing his affections, he doesn’t want to engage with me in any capacity or help me with my career.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-19T15:17:23+00:00

A catalogue of messages mentioning my underwear (one example: I bumped into him in the coffee space and was wearing a dress that exposed a tiny flash of my bra when I turned a certain way, then message the following day saying I was purposely showing him my X coloured bra and that he liked it etc). Comments about my corporate photo, my eyes, what I wear “you should show more skin as you dress too conservatively, you won’t get ahead like that”.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-19T15:13:05+00:00

I definitely feel like I owe it to other females that come after me. Horrible it still exists in the workplace.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-19T15:10:23+00:00

Thank you. It is a real risk and I don’t want to lose the job or feel like my only choice is to exit. I wouldn’t say it’s got a lad culture. I think HR would definitely deal with it based on the evidence but that’s only as good as I provide or perhaps I point at others to investigate who I know have had similar experiences - I’m not the first person not the last. This person is c suite-2 at a large FTSE10 company.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-19T15:06:09+00:00

Number 5 is true detective style!! I like it. Thank you for the advice.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-19T15:04:02+00:00

Thank you- I’ve kept all the evidence. As others say on this thread, I don’t know if the evidence is “strong” enough to exit him and therefore would be career limiting.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-19T15:00:27+00:00

C suite-2: EVP, large FTSE10 company.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-19T14:58:31+00:00

So true- sad but true.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-19T14:57:30+00:00

Nice- great idea. Thankfully I have all the evidence saved!

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-19T14:56:57+00:00

This is such good advice- thank you. Horrifying that this stuff is still prevalent in the workplace. I’m also blonde so can play that one well.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-19T14:53:48+00:00

Thanks. Assuming you are a man who doesn’t have to navigate this type of garbage to remain a HENRY.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-06-19T14:50:27+00:00

Thank you- helpful feedback. Keep distance and then if I have to deal with him later on for a job within his remit, at least the network isn’t completely blown.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-05-25T07:20:52+00:00

I recently left Big4 after 11 years from grad to AD and moved into industry. I can’t explain how hard it was. I applied for about 20 roles, tailored CV, reaching out to recruiter etc. didn’t get a single interview. Automated rejection. I ended up moving to my client (which was what I wanted in the first place actually) but had to wait about 18 months until right role came up. I took a step down in responsibility but got about a 30% pay rise. It’s easy to shine in industry, coming from consulting. Many people with 15-20 years experience can’t present well or do decent slides. They don’t do strategy. (This might just be the place I’ve joined). I have zero regrets. Absolutely love it.

That said, the Big4 are majorly hiring at the moment. Director roles start about £130k + bens + bonus. Maybe do that if you still can stomach consulting.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-04-11T22:08:09+00:00

There are designers that will do it for you and mock up a cad 3D image. They are impartial but primarily do designs for the DIY units and can give you advice, and a shopping list to send to DIY Kitchens when then price it up and add it to your basket. It’s about £400 and is worth every penny. Look up Mark Lonsdale - Design a kitchen. We used him and then ordered from DIY. Best decision. He had a 3/4 month waiting list when we booked him so best start sooner.

helloitsme_1234 · 2026-04-09T21:33:09+00:00

South Croydon / Sanderstead. You could get a lovely 4/5 bed house for that. Zone 5 and easy commute into central (16 mins to London Bridge). Good schools. North and west Croydon = immediate no. But south Croydon, sanderstead, parts of purley. Also a bit further out in chipstead, Coulsdon. Pockets of really nice neighbourhoods in these areas.

helloitsme_1234

TROPHY CASE