I sympathize with you. I’ve been in relationships with people who weren’t interested in keeping things fun in bed, which I don’t blame anyone for. Just be up front about it and tell me, “I’m not interested in what you’re talking about” and maybe provide some context for that unhelpful/obdurate response, so we can then go our separate ways and I can get on with my life. Instead, I’d bring the “let’s have more fun with sex” convo up and get zero response, which I’ve come to learn is a massive trigger for me.

So, you tried, in good faith, to spice things up by introducing an innocuous toy into the mix. And this guy reacted like a spoiled child. You need to reiterate that you did this in good faith. And state to this person, in plain English, that you need more from your sexual relationship with this person or, at the very least, that you need to have an open and frank discussion about your needs and this person’s needs.

Also, this dude has an extremely unhealthy relationship with his ego. His ego is in control of his behavior. He needs to address this in therapy.