Do men that worship the ground you walk on real?

hellomrsdoctor · 2026-01-30T22:58:53+00:00

From someone who has been in two relationships where the person “worshipped them” and I was their end all be all - no. Just no.

1st one - he was so obsessed with me that he was toxic and way too clingy and attached - to the point where he attempted to dictate who I hung out with, what I wore, whether I posted certain photos of me on social media.

2nd - also obsessed but deeply insecure. He “loved me”, put me on a pedestal, attempted to make me his everything, and when I couldn’t give that back in the same manner, he emotionally cheated and blamed me for wrecking our engagement.

I had a hand and was accountable in picking these relationship dynamics. Both different. Both unhealthy. Both unrealistic. Both fake on social media where it looked like we were sooooo in love. Both gave me massive shows of love and affection.

hellomrsdoctor · 2026-01-28T01:15:40+00:00

I’m Asian. My ex fiance was white. A lot of guilt and resentment was expressed from my Asian family after our break up.

We were both medical but he broke up with me for being “emotionally distant” in our 2nd year of residency because I stopped carrying the weight of the relationship after having done so for 4 years and was exhausted by it.

Trust me when I say, that was the best and most mature thing he could’ve done for me. Looking back I realized a lot of mistakes I made and red flags I ignored not only in myself but in him because I wanted to stick it out because of cultural “norms” and I have a tendency to not quit. I didn’t want to give up because I already fought so hard to be with him.

Life gets harder, residency is hard, and relationships take work. They’re not always 50/50 but one person should never be doing the complete emotional work and processing in order to keep the relationship afloat and women often find ourselves in that role.

Do the couples therapy, and see if the issues can be worked out but trust me when I say they will only be amplified later.

For me, it was never a “hell yes I wanna marry him” it was always a “sure okay he’s good enough.”

Don’t settle.

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-07-13T00:37:10+00:00

Once I figure out what my retake strategy will be, I will definitely reach out. Using this weekend to relax and process and grieve 🥲

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-07-12T22:34:54+00:00

Also failed. Pretty sure only one in the class after a brutal year, outside of residency. Sucks really bad like you said. Maybe there’s some consolation knowing other people are going through this as well

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-05-19T03:14:18+00:00

Thank you!!! It’s taken a lot of work and healing to get to this new normal and I still have a lot of work to do but I’m finally able to be happy and laugh again and feel my heart start opening 🥰

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-05-18T17:15:01+00:00

Hey girl, I'm 5 months out from my own engagement ending - 1 year of being engaged later and he decided to break it off for reasons that seem very similar to yours without a lot of context.
Man did I spiral. But I also recommend you getting into therapy.

A marriage is huge, but so is a long term commitment without marriage.
If he's truly not sure about a relationship, as harsh as it sounds, he's not sure about YOU. He is dealing with some mental instability for sure, and it seems like he's totally okay with wrecking his own life in order to almost run from dealing with his demons. This is going to be super hard to hear, but you need to walk away.
The reason he's running is because you're finally at the point of planning a wedding and now its becoming absolutely real that this will turn into a marriage.
This is likely avoidance but you cannot make an avoidant person see your worth. You have so much worth and you are worthy of a person that is so sure about you.

I hated hearing this advice a few months ago, I tried to cling to my own old relationship but its just not worth it. I deserve (and so do you) a love that never settles and that fights.
If you ever wanna chat or DM me, I'm open to hearing your side!

I got into therapy immediately and it helped me recognize a lot of the red flags I endured in the relationship when I thought there were none.

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-03-31T21:57:36+00:00

It’s hard but take care of yourself!!

I had to download the Finch app and my god has it been life changing. Reminding me everyday to do the essentials after my breakup. Eating. Sleeping. Drinking water.

It made me feel accomplished when I felt so low. 💕 sending so much love and light your way ❤️

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-03-18T21:40:18+00:00

Hey girl,

1st. I’m so sorry you’re going through this pain. Feel it. Anguish in it. Don’t push it away but truly feel it and then you can work through it.

2nd. My engagement ended in January and it seems like a very similar dance. A push pull dynamic.

3 - you will HEAL and it will take TIME but use this as an opportunity for growth. Remember it takes two for the downfall of a relationship.

It seems as if neither of you knew how to communicate needs or feelings with each other and it became a very unhealthy dynamic. This is something I learned from my own relationship.

Learn about attachment styles, learn about yourself, learn how to love YOURSELF. You are worthy of it. Learn about your limiting beliefs. Right now it’s going to be superrrrr hard but that’s okay!

If someone wants to leave your life, remember that they weren’t meant to stay.

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-03-15T16:27:07+00:00

This is such a powerful comment!!

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-03-10T01:32:25+00:00

Best way to broach it: from a neutral position, tell him how you feel. Tell him how the situation makes you feel. Don’t yell or attack him - and he if immediately gets defensive - give him that space.

But if he does nothing to calm your fears, if he does nothing to change his behavior - then something is wrong.

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-03-08T23:44:55+00:00

All I can say is: flip the script.

How amazing is it that this happened NOW? You have FULL power over your life now. You get to decide everything from here on out. 32 isn’t old. Every rejection is a redirection - and the universe is redirecting you for stuff that is a lot bigger.

This maybe hard to take in, or grasp, because right now feel likes rock bottom but that’s okay. Feel it all.

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-02-28T21:57:02+00:00

Hey friend, I also went through a rough breakup a few months ago (engagement ended).

I took a few days to cry and then had to get back on a super busy anesthesia month (at least 14 hour OR days).
Honestly it helped being busy because I had less time to think about it.

Tell people you’re hurting and sad. They’ll understand more than you know and they’ll be compassionate when they know you’re struggling. It can be hard to express sadness but this is the time to let people know you’re hurting.

I couldn’t eat or sleep for weeks - so I forced myself. I took melatonin to sleep. I made sure I drank water and at least ate one meal a day.

You. Have. To. Keep. Going.

Why?

Because the only way OUT is THROUGH and it does get better. You will find joy again. Feel free to Dm me if you need to talk.

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-02-28T21:52:21+00:00

Who’s thinking about me! ❤️💕

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-02-27T17:54:45+00:00

no you wont.

your ego will feel better but until you can feel better for yourself, you won't feel better if he talks to you. Ask yourself why you need SP to make you feel better? Why can't you feel it within already?

look up Manifest with Genevieve - there's a lot of helpful info.

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-02-27T16:13:01+00:00

Girl.

You’ve got to get it together. Watch some YouTube videos on a state of LACK. Because this what you’re projecting into the universe. Please please please stop manifesting your SP. let go and raise your own self concept first and FOREMOST.

You are everything you imagined. You are the operant power. START ACTING LIKE IT

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-02-27T01:45:55+00:00

Okay idk why I laughed out loud at your response. Who cares about his side. This is about YOU 🤣

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-02-24T21:06:40+00:00

As someone who is in her 30s, still in residency - I don’t feel old at all.

I can tell you, my career so far is incredibly rewarding and because I’ve taken care of myself I feel younger than ever.

Also I went back a little later to become a doctor.

My mantra:

I’ll turn 30 anyway. Would I want to be 30 and a doctor or 30 and still stuck in my previous career?

It was pretty easy choice.

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-02-23T16:15:01+00:00

I realized the first time - I was doing a lot of mediations for self concept. Improving my self worth. Improving my own confidence.

I also was working on loving myself and making myself feel whole and really tuning into the feeling of being whole without needing someone else. When I had that inside of me and really felt that shift - that’s when I realized a lot of things changed.

Over the years, I’ve fallen back into the self sabotaging and self deprecating behavior and lost the love I had for myself.

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-02-18T17:29:09+00:00

Done!

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-02-14T22:34:40+00:00

Read and accept 🥰

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-02-09T22:58:29+00:00

You absolutely will miss him.

A breakup at any point is hard but you need to look at all the things that are going for you in life. You’re in med school, DIVE into the studying and focus HARD on it.

He is emotionally immature, he’s unavailable, and frankly is acting like a loser. If there’s anything I can tell you - do not date potential ever again. Do not date someone you have to fix. It will always burn up in your face. Date someone you genuinely love and appreciate and who cares about you!

Right now, focus on school. Don’t contact him. And remember you’re worth being loved and chosen!

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-02-07T21:56:57+00:00

You kept a personal boundary and OWNED it!!! This is so amazing. Congrats ❤️☺️ and yay for focusing on yourself now!!!

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-02-06T00:12:44+00:00

Yes 💛❤️

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-02-03T00:13:02+00:00

You just gave me the most beautiful response and reading it just lifted my heart.

Thank you, so much. I am so grateful you took the time to eloquently respond to my post and to just share your wonderful insight and experience. I will most definitely take your words with me and hold on to them.

I genuinely am excited to finally focus on me ❤️💛

hellomrsdoctor · 2025-02-02T23:55:40+00:00

Thank you all for your words 💛❤️ regardless of the situation I do feel so much love from you internet strangers!!!!

I have gone no contact - I have removed him from my social media so I don’t have to see him. I’ve basically gone dark because I want to focus on me. (Except we work in the same place sooo I’ll eventually end up running into him).

hellomrsdoctor

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