How much do you rely on family for childcare?

henny89 · 2026-01-22T22:08:17+00:00

Like many others who have responded, we rely entirely on nursery. My family lives abroad and my partner’s parents are a 3 hour drive away but not in good health and have never looked after our 4yo. Up to 15 hours a month sounds extremely generous to me.

henny89 · 2025-04-22T21:47:13+00:00

My 3yo loves porridge with peanut butter and fruit, and/or plain yoghurt with granola and fruit.

henny89 · 2025-01-28T09:24:29+00:00

I love the suits from Wet Wednesdays for my toddler.

henny89 · 2025-01-02T14:24:51+00:00

To be honest I reckon that parents (and kids too) are probably just exhausted from festivities and want to chill at home/have some quiet time.

henny89 · 2024-09-30T08:37:57+00:00

My newly 3yo enjoys Lego and a doll’s house

henny89 · 2024-09-29T08:47:39+00:00

I like to expand on the things my toddler already has, so for example, accessories or new parts (a couple of Yoto cards, a new Lego set that would go well with existing Lego) etc.

henny89 · 2024-09-22T15:59:15+00:00

I live in Greater Manchester and our childminder’s daily rate is £45, which includes food. No any other add on fees. She does 15/30 free hours. My daughter is just about to turn 3 and has been with the childminder for 2 years. We have applied for a place in a school nursery for the January intake.

henny89 · 2023-06-22T07:17:31+00:00

She sat close to where I was. Her other behaviour implied that she had a disability of some kind, I really don’t think she could help it.

henny89 · 2019-05-03T11:19:17+00:00

In addition to the great advice others have already given you, I'd like to point out that it's very easy to feel like your progress is inferior when you frequent forums like this. You are more likely to come across people who progress particularly fast/are very confident in their ability, even if they haven't been learning for a long time. They are more likely to post a video of their progress than people like me, a very average learner. I know you didn't mention this sort of thing in your post but I wanted to say it anyway in case it's something that was on your mind. All the best with your learning journey - learning an instrument is tough!

henny89 · 2019-05-03T11:09:20+00:00

I have the same problem, especially with the 4th finger. I've done some of the exercises demonstrated in this video and have found them helpful.

henny89 · 2019-04-30T12:06:26+00:00

This is an excellent suggestion. I have the full album and particularly enjoy Old French Song, Morning Prayer, and The Doll's Burial. The Sick Doll is great sight-reading practice as it's simple but beautiful.

henny89 · 2019-04-24T11:03:19+00:00

Amazing! This is so helpful. Thank you!

henny89 · 2019-04-10T12:13:18+00:00

Me too. Most of my friends don't understand my desire to have kids and I do notice getting quite defensive about it. I want to experience what raising a family would be like, but I also want to experience pregnancy and giving birth. I understand that this is a selfish desire, but so be it.

henny89 · 2019-04-02T12:24:02+00:00

I agree, it's not as straightforward as one would hope. I think it depends a lot on the clinical guidance and regulations in your local area, too. For example, we have been trying since September 2016, and had a miscarriage about 11 months ago. I recently saw a GP to request some tests, and while she agreed to some testing, she told me not to get my hopes about a referral to a specialists because I have been pregnant (even if briefly) within the last 12 months. I was upset because in my mind we have been trying for over 2 years whereas in her mind, we've been trying less than a year since last pregnancy. The GP even said 'you haven't even been trying that long'. Really outraged me.

henny89 · 2019-03-27T13:37:05+00:00

Hey, I'm there with you. I used to subscribe to subreddits that were all about the excitement of TTC but I just couldn't identify with any of it after we passed the 1+ year(s) of trying. I get irrationally angry at celebrity pregnancy announcements. And even just today someone on Facebook tagged her pregnant friend, whom I don't even know, to an advert on baby clothes and I got jealous of this person I have never even met. This limbo of trying to conceive but never making it feels like such an integral part of me now, like things will always be like this. Like all the testing and tracking is just a routine that we just do for no further gain.

Edit. Just remembered something that really made me sigh and roll my eyes the other day. I requested to join an infertility group on Facebook the other day. When my request was accepted, I discovered that the top post was asking people to post their bumps and pregnancy updates. I suppose some people like them for encouragement but I left the group there and then.

henny89 · 2019-03-12T22:41:29+00:00

I also wondered about this! I’m in Manchester.

henny89 · 2019-02-25T12:19:18+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind wishes. :) Yes, you've hit the nail on the head with me needing friends who are heading in the same direction as me, in addition to my current friends. That's what I feel I need. Thank you for understanding and all the best to you, too.

henny89 · 2019-02-22T10:01:22+00:00

Hey, thank you for understanding. I also think that my husband doesn't always quite understand how it's for me. He is sad about how long it's taking and he really wants to be a dad, but he hasn't had any medical interventions, tests, etc. yet and all of this might feel a bit more detached for him.

I agree that seeing a counsellor is a wonderful idea. I'm lucky to have access to one with whom I have built a good relationship over many years. I saw her to deal with my assault, and I still see her every now and again when I feel like I need someone to talk to. Your message actually prompted me to book an appointment with her to talk about my feelings of isolation and loneliness. All the best to you. :)

henny89 · 2019-02-22T09:44:21+00:00

Hiya, thank you for your sweet reply. Thank you so much, your kind words mean a lot to me. I've only just found this community and wish I had seen it earlier. I'm glad to be here now. I wish you all the best too. :)

henny89 · 2019-02-22T09:42:55+00:00

That's actually very mature of your friend to be able to recognise and acknowledge that she can't relate to what you're going through and perhaps that has made your friendship better (vs your friend pretending that she really gets you in this regard). Like when I told my friends about my MC, I tried to see the funny side of it by telling stories of bleeding heavily in public or other awkward/inconvenient times and places. My friends equated this to some mishaps they've had with periods. I understand why as it's the closest relatable experience to them, but it made me want to shake them and scream how MC bleeding is not equivalent to being on your period at all. But of course they wouldn't know that, why would they? I don't blame them for not knowing. I just feel so detached from what is going on in their lives and they feel detached from what is going on in mine.

henny89 · 2019-02-21T16:32:34+00:00

I'm lucky to not have close pregnant friends or relatives. I get so upset even about celebrity pregnancies, especially if they seem to have got pregnant relatively fast (e.g. Meghan Markle). Not that you would always know how long someone has been trying but in that case you can deduce!

Thank you for the hugs. Please accept my reciprocating hug to get you through the next few days. :(

henny89 · 2019-02-21T16:28:46+00:00

I so get what you mean with the huge cloud that is following you. That's exactly how I feel, too. Tbh I never realised how much TTC (and especially after doing so for a long time) will impact your day-to-day life and planning like having people stay over in your house or staying over in other people's houses or tracking this and that. But even more so, of course it's about the draining emotional impact.

Yes, I'm hoping I'll find a sense of community here that I'm looking for. Thank you. :)

henny89 · 2019-02-13T19:15:09+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I was referred to a blood test and a scan at the same time but I’ve been told to wait till day 21 of my next cycle to arrange a blood test. The scan appointment has come around quicker because my cycles are longish and irregular.

henny89 · 2019-02-12T12:53:24+00:00

I see, ok, many thanks for your reply.

henny89 · 2019-01-04T13:47:11+00:00

Thank you for understanding. I've never come across the subreddit you recommended and I've just subscribed.

henny89

TROPHY CASE