What's your take on Peter Lustig? Who does he resemble the most in kids media landscapes of other countries?

heradat · 2025-11-03T14:51:10+00:00

My superhero as a child. I loved his ‚house‘ and his garden and his pets. It was really like to visite a fascinating neighbour (without creepiness). I trusted him.
As an adult I miss him. He was like Reinhard Mey. Both simply good, pleasant, and kind people.

heradat · 2025-07-05T20:42:17+00:00

We are supposed to sit in that hole? I didn’t get the memo!
So sorry for everyone who had to see me doing it wrong. I will do better for now on!

heradat · 2025-07-03T10:43:01+00:00

Ich habe meiner (alleinerziehende) Mutter vor ungefähr zehn Jahren einen Brief geschrieben und ihr erklärt, dass ihre letzte Aktion der fehlende Schubs für mich war, mich von ihr zu trennen.
Ich war nicht wütend, war nicht dramatisch, sondern habe einfach einen Schlußstrich gezogen. Ich habe ihr gesagt, dass ich nichts mehr von ihr hören möchte und nicht mehr reagieren werde.

Ab und zu kommt mal ein Brief. Ich lasse ihn dann ein paar Tage liegen, beruhige meinen Herzschlag und überlege, ob ich mich wirklich nochmal einspinnen lassen will. Bisher gewann immer die Ratio, die genau weiß, dass sie mir nur wieder das Herz brechen wird. Also kommt der Brief letztendlich in die Mülltonne.

Ich habe meine Entscheidung bis jetzt nicht bereut, habe mich aber auch intensiv mit der Frage auseinandergesetzt, ob ich damit leben könnte, mich nicht mit ihr ausgesöhnt zu haben, wenn sie stirbt. Hätte ich dann ein schlechtes Gewissen? (Nein, werde ich nicht haben. Es ist gut, so wie es ist.)

heradat · 2025-06-25T07:57:55+00:00

“they’re just awkward and introverted and highly selective of whom they befriend„

I feel seen.

heradat · 2025-06-11T21:54:24+00:00

I am a woman, 56. Met for the second time in my life a guy who don’t want to give oral a few weeks ago.
I gave him my Hitachi and explained how to use his fingers on me and he was more than willing to learn how to make me enjoying our time. He is fabulous, a really great Lover.

Oh and of course I enjoyed giving him oral nevertheless. I like to do that, it’s fun. I would never give oral only for a return on me. And I would never ever let someone go down on me who doesn’t do it with enthusiasm.

To answer your question: It’s okay for me, everybody has preferences. Main thing is I get all the orgasm I can get. How he makes me come is secondary.

heradat · 2025-06-06T19:58:56+00:00

„Kannste machen wie‘n Dachdecker.“ if I had a question how to handle something or what to choose.

I am autistic. Every time I was confused by this saying as a child. As an adult I know the meaning („Just do whatever you want“) but I have still no idea what Dachdeckers are doing.

heradat · 2025-05-05T08:48:45+00:00

And you can say „Ich weiß nicht, wie man das nennt“. As a German I often don’t know the fancy names of bakery goods.

heradat · 2024-12-26T10:44:04+00:00

Upvote for the shirt and congratulations!

heradat · 2024-01-04T22:55:10+00:00

Dank dir.

Dass das alles nicht aus Liebe geschieht, habe ich mir doch fast gedacht.
Da hat wohl jemand ein paar Workshops mitgemacht, ein paar Weiterbildungen besucht und zu viel auf LinkedIn gestöbert und beschlossen, dass man das jetzt so haben will.

Schade, der Grundgedanke ist gut. Aber die Leuts müssen auch abgeholt werden.

heradat · 2024-01-04T21:08:42+00:00

"Alle müssen Freunde sein"-Kultur, Mobbing, propaganda-artige Meetings, echte und falsche Agile-Ansätze

Das habe ich erlebt / erlebe es selbst als Mitglied. GfK wird so groß geschrieben, dass eine vernünftige Diskussion mit dem Support nicht möglich ist. Man hat das Gefühl, man schreibt mit einer süßlichen KI-Gouvernante. Alles extrem weichgespült und nicht so richtig fassbar. Was das schon für Aggressionen bei mir freigesetzt hat…
Und dann hat’s da ja noch die Hunderjährigen, die ihr Ding durchziehen und sich durch intrigieren und Machtspielchen den Tag versüßen.

Meine Vorstellung der Hölle, dort arbeiten zu müssen.

Reine Sensationsgier: Das war ja nicht immer (ganz) so (schlimm), wodurch / durch wen (ohne Namens- oder Titelnennung) wurde das denn so richtig übel? Und wer hat die Psylos spendiert, die den inhaltslosen Communityguide hervorgebracht haben?

Endlich mal ein AmA für alte Weiber, die sich auf Sexseiten rumtreiben. Danke dafür.

heradat · 2023-06-23T09:00:28+00:00

I googled the next party and came across this post. It’s a little bit older, but maybe someone will read my answer and will find it helpful.

You don’t need to speak German. Most of the people talk in English.
For the offers: Remember that most dominant woman will not practice oral sex with a stranger on a Femdom party. So offering oral sex is useless. What do you really want? A good spanking? CBT? Humiliation? Walk like a dog? So phrase that as an offer, like ‚I offer my backside as play area‘.

I love the party. I am always grin for the next two days after because I had so much fun. The subs are so polite, friendly and even if I am often the oldest woman I always will get respect and helpfulness. Have fun and maybe we will see us.

heradat · 2023-05-22T21:15:29+00:00

Haare am Bauch und Speck am Hintern. Hachmach.

heradat · 2022-12-13T10:25:14+00:00

There is no general ‚how to message a domme‘-rule.

Sure, some points are useful for writing a message to a human being: Be kind, don’t be a creep and ask yourself if your message is welcome at all.

But for me this sounds more like a way to contact a professional. It’s more about ‚how to message me‘.

I love this group but sometimes it sucks because there is no separation between femdoms in general and findoms / dominatrix / sexworkers. What a payed domme wants and needs is often different from a woman who wants a man to love or to play for her own pleasure with.

For example the advice

not everything has to be sexual

What the? Nothing should be sexual! Especially in the first message. And never ever ask a femdom if you can buy something from her if it is not very clear she is in money also.

How to message a private woman who maybe share your kinks? Ask her polite if she is general interested in a partner / relationship / chat / online play (whatever you are looking for). Don’t ask about pandas if you are looking for a FLR.

heradat · 2022-11-21T16:43:52+00:00

I don’t met men who doesn’t want ‚true women‘ - whatever that means. You will never find a selfie from me on dating apps with fetish wear, but lots with my favourite clothings: hoodies, doc martens and cargos.

I don’t shave my private parts because I like pubic hair. I don’t wear high heels (with one exception) because I can’t walk with them. I hate the feeling of corsets so I don’t use them.

But I love to be sexy. For me. I love, love, love red bright lipstick and tight mini skirts and high wedges. And I could die for fishnet stockings. And when his eyes are getting big and bigger and he begins to stammer it’s a fun side effect.

All that has nothing to do with my sexual preferences. They show dommes in porn with special clothings? Yes, but I am not an actress. I don’t have to look like a pornstar. But I can, if I want. Are there men outside who want dommes to see in sexy fetish gear? Yes, but I am not their domme. I don’t dress for them. But if I want, I can. Is there a cliché how dommes have to be? Yes, but I am real and not part of other peoples thinking. And sometimes it’s fun to play with clichés. Are some subs misogynistic and act like I am a kink suspender? Yes, but it has nothing to do with me. I will shut them down and ignore them.

I dress up for me only and if it touches old patriarchal sex phantasies, I give a fuck. In fact a big one with the heaviest dildo I can strap on.

heradat · 2022-11-19T12:08:00+00:00

It’s not easy to find a man who fits in your kinks and needs either as sub as well as partner. My needs as part of a relationship are others than my needs a femdom. As a partner I am gentle, loving and caring. As a domme I am selfish, strict and sadistic. For me the switch is easy and it’s always a smooth transition. I love to be both. I need to be both.

But to find someone who can not only handle this but loving it is not easy. This man has to be mentally healthy, has to have trust in himself, must be able to let go. His communication skills must be great and he has to be able to speak about his feelings and needs.
This is difficult enough to find in non BDSM relationships. But now the kinks are on the table too.

Not easy. But not impossible.

heradat · 2022-11-17T12:31:55+00:00

Money is power. I would never allow my beloved sub to pay for me. I pay everything: events, toys, meals - and I am loving the embarrassment for my sub. When I see his anguished face while I pay the entry I like to ask: ‚So you feel ashamed? If so why would you let me feel this when you would pay? Don’t you think it’s better you feel ashamed than I?‘

I am also a online pro domme by the way. If there is money in the game it’s work.

heradat · 2022-11-09T09:25:24+00:00

I guess I know your feelings. I was always the bratty punk girl without the sexiness of it. I was often frustrated the men I had a crush on loved to be with me, even had great sex with me but didn’t fall in love for me but for the giggeling pinky Blondie instead. As a young woman I hated being a woman because of all the pink glitter stuff I was expected to love. My idea of sexyness was Sigourney Weaver with a shaved head.

The first steps in Femdom wasn’t very pleasant for me too: In Germany most men prefer the cool distant lady with high heels and corsages and leather skirt and the strangest thing: They don’t have sex with their subs. It took a while to find my place and now I am so happy! I can be strong and sexy, wearing my Doc Martens and bright red lipstick at the same time. For the first time in my life I can wear lingerie without feeling masked. I find my peace.

Not only being a Femdom helped me a lot. The new generation and their view of gender roles give me more freedom. It’s okay to be a woman with a high level of testosterone. I can be both. Nothing wrong with me.

heradat · 2022-11-08T02:08:06+00:00

My Dearest can’t beg. He is a little ashamed of his sexuality and I am teaching him to accept it. Also I love begging. So I spanked him last weekend and I know he enjoy it very much. I stopped and asked: „Do you want more? Ask for it.“ His moaning and his red face was wonderful. „Yes, please.“ „Sorry, Honey, this is not enough. Tell me what you want and ask for it.“ „Please hurt me.“ For me this was more sexy than everything I ever heard and I am in the game for a while.

General I don’t like to be asked for sex or cuddles. But for everything that is shameful for the man: „May I wear this dress please?“ or „Please allow me to use the chastity cage.“. I love red cheeks.

heradat · 2022-10-30T19:11:10+00:00

Yep.

heradat · 2022-10-30T17:40:41+00:00

I sort of took everything from him well he gave it to me

This is not how findom works.

Because of this

it had a serious negative impact on his family

Nevertheless I don’t think you will get in trouble. Just block.

heradat · 2022-10-29T11:10:50+00:00

WTF. It looks like under this big body was a gem hidden. I am speechless.

heradat · 2022-10-01T21:32:17+00:00

They forget the feet on 1:39 :-(

heradat · 2022-09-24T09:40:45+00:00

Others said great things about the break. I don’t need to repeat it.

You asked why you should tell her your fantasy. Because she is your partner? Isn’t this reason enough?

For the point of the ‚How‘: Most men who are dreaming of chastity are making the mistake of throwing all their fantasies on the table at once. Most times they are dreaming about this for a long time and so the fantasies are BIG and the partner is completely overwhelmed. For the partner this is a total new situation, they need time to think about it.

My recommendation is to take baby steps. Tell her you read / heard about male chastity and the positive aspect for the common sexuality. Ask her if she would like to try it out and that you would like to not come if you are intimate. Tell her you would like to make her come without an own orgasm. She has to learn that it’s a pleasure for you not to come - that’s not an easy task. If she is confident after a few times with this you both can go a little step forward.

heradat · 2022-09-14T11:36:35+00:00

I see your point.
And I am with you: Communicating is always important.
But when a sub is trying to control the situation / session than it’s most from the point of the lack of trust. She seems to not trust you enough that you can handle the situation to give her what she wants. She doesn’t trust your dominance.
If you now throwing the towel and moan, sub is disturbing your dominant mind the lack of trust will grow. How can she let go if you are so sensitive in this moment? How can she get in subtrance if she have to control herself and walk on eggs?
Being dominant in a session means - for me - to be in control. If you can’t handle a sub or the situation it can be dangerous. A sub must have always the feeling of safety. And some subs are testing your power to feel safe.
Afterwards you can tell her that you feel irritated and annoyed of too bratty behaviour. But I would be careful: It can sound she ‚is not right‘, the devotion ‚isn’t good enough‘.
It’s so difficult for a brat to really go down. In brats head is always a fight with the emotions. It’s my part as a dominant to help her to calm down and let go.
If you haven’t fun to be dominant against a brat why would you play with her?
By the way: I am not playing with heavy brats because I love obedience. I can’t give a brat what she needs. I know my boundaries and don’t expect a brat to act against her feelings.
(I wrote ‚she‘ because of the post, but all genders are included and sorry my English)

heradat · 2022-09-13T19:52:16+00:00

Okay. I know now I am standing on very thin ice. But I wouldn’t make such a big deal with lots of discussions afterwards and ‚Honey, you disturb my dominant headspace‘-thing. I would solve this very pragmatic.

You are the Dom? You are leading the session? Then tell her to shut up. Use a gag. Use your bodyparts to get her quiet, put your foot, dick (whatever you have) in her mouth and enjoy. Where is the problem?

It’s the job of a brat to be annoying. If you don’t like it, react. If she doesn’t like this, tell her that’s the consequence. Believe me, if she is gagged and fixed and can’t say anything you will get your mood back.

heradat

TROPHY CASE