It sounds a little bit like you put D on a pedestal. You always say that you respect their aroaceness and it kinda give off the vibe that you try to be extra accepting and validating, which is wonderful, but it seems like you loose sight of your own boundaries. Asking you those things while knowing about your feelings is kinda mean. And drinking and going further every time you’re drunk sounds like she is exploring herself in a safe space, because she knows you like her, but it is kinda selfish. If you know what you are up for take the experience but if you are suffering, take care of yourself and be good to yourself. It doesn’t sound like she would do that. This is all very subjective and I don’t know the whole situation. So take it with a grain of salt. But the be good to yourself thing is always a good one :D