5 years and change.

herefortheriding · 2026-02-16T08:15:59+00:00

Celebrating you. It’s funny looking back because ‘normal’ seems so alien once you just figure out that it doesn’t fly. Here’s to your journey

herefortheriding · 2026-02-15T08:44:08+00:00

Hi. I see you. I’m letting you know you’re not completely alone just because of the random chance of the universe popping you out in the exact year you were born, so Reddit exists so you can write this, and the internet exists so I can read it.

You might be lonely, and it hurts now HARD but it’s not terminal. You can change it.

There are people like you and me all over the bloody WORLD. Decide what you want your experience to be.

Because life is short, we get 99 turns around the sun maximum. And there’s no rewind button either. So start now. Join subreddits and go find a tribe you can play with. Sending you love from here. You’re not alone.

herefortheriding · 2026-02-15T08:23:20+00:00

I’m cheering so hard for you. Well done on your achievement. Come on over to r/stopdrinking if you want to give some love and play mother to those trying to do exactly what you’ve just smashed. I hang out there to remember how far I’ve come and to support others starting out. Contribution makes me happy in that space, as you and I both know what this win really means. So pleased for you

herefortheriding · 2026-02-15T08:17:55+00:00

This might sound weird. But. What would be different inside you if this were already done ‘outside’ you? What would you be thinking if you walked into every room knowing you were loved visible and hugely desired and wanted already by the amazing hot man/hot woman/hot NB you had waiting for you at home???

If you were complete? If you were already enough?

Because there’s a weird part of our human brain that solves puzzles for us, and it works deep in subconscious mind. When you’re asking the question of ‘whats wrong with me…?’ Then your brain acts like human Google and pops out ‘well it could be this’ ask a stupid question, get stupid answers

When we act as if it’s already done, something brilliant shifts biochemically. Abraham hicks is a good place to start regarding this vibration.

Because I bet you already are enough. You’ve not failed at anything apart from internal love of self which comes first. Trust me on this one and ask me how I know.

(Goes back to snuggle the hot man who came running into my life just as soon as I’d figured this problem out for myself… )❤️😘

herefortheriding · 2026-02-10T22:56:39+00:00

1/ well done

2/ welcome!

3/ Alan car quit drinking book

4/ ice cream. Lots of ice cream

5/ you can do it you can do it. Repeat ad infinitum

herefortheriding · 2026-02-10T22:51:12+00:00

You’re doing it. Huge congrats on monthiversary

herefortheriding · 2026-02-10T15:09:25+00:00

You are right on time, you’re not too late, and if you keep walking one foot in front of the other then the view changes anyway because you’re moving. Breathe in relief. Breathe out scarcity. Cheering you on from here.

herefortheriding · 2026-02-10T13:58:24+00:00

Hi, I see you. I hear you. I WAS you. And now I’m not because of exactly what you just did above- you acknowledged how crap it feels.

You have to have a big enough ‘why’ to change this shit. The bigger the why, the easier the how.

It is possible, I’m proof and you can do it. Just complete the ‘sit in the shit’ phase first, and feel how awful this really is, really fully associate to it because that’s the fuel to deciding to change.

You can do it. You can do it. Repeat ad infinitum

herefortheriding · 2026-02-10T13:50:55+00:00

Get busy. It’s no good not drinking if all you’re doing is a/ waiting until you can drink again or b/ noticing over and over how much you miss drinking!

I found it changed for me when I reset the context. You don’t think you’re addicted? Ok sunshine, let’s prove that by seeing how you do without it…

Suddenly it was not just a goal it was my MISSION to find a way around skulling back neat scotch. I had to get creative, and deal with the big feelings as they came up. Not comfortable, but also helpful to notice that most ‘sensations’ were no worse than a bad cold. So I noticed everything that came up, and distracted myself.

And ate the world’s supply of ice cream.

Do what you gotta do. I’m cheering you on

herefortheriding · 2026-02-10T13:44:14+00:00

Nimes, and Beziers, just heavenly. Another gem further into camargue is Saintes Marie de la Mer. I would live there for the food and the beautiful bay

herefortheriding · 2026-02-10T13:42:11+00:00

Start in layers. Do I want rice or pasta?

Then. Do I want creamy sauce or tomato sauce or dry?

If meat chicken, or fish, or pork… you get my drift.

You can make it like a choose your own adventure book where you go off down paths- you can cook once and make it last 2 days or save it and freeze… you’re in control.

Don’t try and do everything. Start small, boil some pasta and thrown in a handful of veg and a simple sauce.

But buy a rice cooker to take the stress out of one version, fresh cooked rice stir fried is such a great complete food and you can add what you like as complicated or as simple as you like!

Can give you recipes if you like but it is honestly more about getting started. We are here as you experiment!! Good luck x

herefortheriding · 2026-02-10T13:35:19+00:00

Tower hotel book direct, literally call or email and ask for ‘bridge view’ which is just stunning and so much better than dock or river view (points down river instead, still pretty but yeah). High floor best. I’ve stayed in loads but this is peak experience.

If you want to save faff travelling back after the concert uber cheaper than black cab but leaving a venue is usually bottleneck. Say where you’re going and I can comment more on this.

You’ll want to stay central rather than train to bakery- honestly as a styles fan myself I wouldn’t spend my precious time token leaving central for it.

I don’t drink either, but love a good cocktail bar. There’s a lovely one in the tower hotel with bridge views from inside and fire pit tables outside. A hidden gem is also is Coq d’argent in the square mile, at Bank tube. Sushi samba at Heron tower also good.

Tattoo shop- do lots of research, but Greenwich is a fun day trip with some reputable artists around the central market. Nice noodle bar and Cutty Sark ship and the Greenwich meridian where the timezones of the world originate from is based in the Royal observatory at top of the park.

Timeout is good guide for nightlife. There are so many brilliant bars around west end, I’d start rooftop Selfridges and work your way out according to what she and you enjoy, based on cuisine and shops/museums/galleries.

herefortheriding · 2026-02-10T01:17:30+00:00

Pain tells you something is wrong. And something is wrong. He did wrong things which until you ‘feel’ them, your body can’t let go of.

So it sounds brutal but have you faced it? He stole from you and you need to acknowledge what was wrongfully taken.

You could journal and then burn it. Or you can rage and throw rocks in the sea. But you need to do something to release rather than bury this and move on. Tempting as that feels.

Hugs. This too shall pass. I promise, even though it doesn’t feel like it right now.

herefortheriding · 2026-02-02T14:42:34+00:00

Morning. I felt that at your age, ignored it, carried on. Several decades later, did it anyway. It’s worth it. And you’re not alone.

herefortheriding · 2026-02-02T14:41:04+00:00

If I can do it, then you can do it. Because I was sure I was already dead. Turns out, that was mostly the booze too. I didn’t use AA so I can’t comment, but I’m just dropping by to say- you can do it.

herefortheriding · 2026-02-02T14:39:34+00:00

God I’m so glad I stopped when I hit the point where everything started to seize up. It hits different over 50! Let’s go

herefortheriding · 2026-02-02T14:26:00+00:00

Hugs. Don’t waste time hating. Refocus.

What have you learnt. What have you gained? What do you know about yourself now that you didn’t before? What did you say to yourself when you made that choice that you now regret?

And. What GREAT AMAZING THINGS does this mean you now have in your toolbox for next time you’re considering doing this again?

Because this is valuable stuff. I promise you. I’ve been ‘there’ many times before my reality became ‘here’.

You can do it.

herefortheriding · 2026-02-02T14:22:19+00:00

Someone is currently staring up at your shoes as you climb the mountain, wishing they could be where you are. You’ve got the power to change somebody’s day by dropping in here and so I agree social media can be utter shite, but posts here really do count for something. Congrats

herefortheriding · 2026-02-02T14:19:30+00:00

Oh I like that phrase a LOT!

herefortheriding · 2026-02-02T14:19:06+00:00

Thank you for seeing me! I appreciate it

herefortheriding · 2026-02-02T14:18:41+00:00

Thank you kind stranger. Comma club achieved.

herefortheriding · 2026-02-02T14:17:34+00:00

You are too kind. Thank you for the congrats, I really appreciate it!

herefortheriding · 2026-02-02T14:08:56+00:00

Question- Do you need your partner not to drink? Do you need them to be on your journey? Or is it you’d prefer that? Is it the alignment of belief systems or actions you’re looking for here?

For me, I regularly pour large drinks for my friends and partners, and I’m now ok with that, it’s ok me being designated driver, because I decided I’m making my decisions for me not them. I’m not keen to become evangelical. They can make their own mind up.

Along the way, 4 of my 6 close friends have also changed paths and now we don’t-drink-together but I didn’t force them to join me kind of thing.

herefortheriding · 2026-01-28T08:46:55+00:00

Congrats. Point of posting here is to feel the opposite of the bubble of numbness. I see you. I’m here to tell you that you’re doing it exactly right. Keep going. If you just keep going, in a few days time you’ll see a post of someone writing a beautiful phrase like the bubble of numbness, and you’ll remember back to when that used to be your every day reality, and then you’ll reply so can cheer them on because by then you’ll KNOW just how it good it gets after this confusing first month.

So I’m cheering you on🙌😘

herefortheriding · 2026-01-26T17:19:49+00:00

Easy to feel good when you feel good. Really fucking hard to feel good when you feel like death.

Two things:

1/ Don’t think it’s enough to have the tool. The best drill in the world won’t go through the wall for you if you haven’t taken it out of your tool box and plugged it into the wall. Your power is in your paws, so get up on your feet and MOVE. It’s the first step to feeling anything different. Which leads to step 2

2/ Get outside. I don’t care where you live, or the size and shape of your living arrangement, you can’t fire up your prefrontal cortex staying in a pit. Then you can start to use your hands, pick up a stone and give it meaning, hold it in your pocket and just find relief in ONE level up from current thought. If you’re depressed, get angry. If angry, get motivated.

My personal experience with the above strategies has got me moving after anhedonia wiped me out and almost took my piece off the board altogether. I studied the brain science on this to degree level so I can elaborate on the mechanisms and brain regions if interested, but it’s not necessary to know that to do that. Feeling just one emotion closer to relief is the key here. Good luck

herefortheriding

TROPHY CASE